There are plenty of places on Woot where you can find helpful information. This is not one of those places. Every week we will be comparing 3 pairs of things that shouldn’t be compared using this formula: Unrelated Thing X vs. Unrelated Thing Y in terms of Function Z. Facts will be misunderstood, overlooked, or changed for the sake of the argument. Enjoy.
1. Oars vs. Eyes in terms of Getting a Table at the Hottest New Restaurant
People say that you can communicate a lot with your eyes, but that’s the same as saying that you can communicate a lot with Russian: it only works if the other person’s fluent. So even if you could get your eyes to say just the right thing to get you a table at the hottest new restaurant, there’s no guarantee that the maitre d’ will even be able to read it. Oars are totally different. There’s no mistaking their meaning; they show strength and ruggedness. Walking into a restaurant with oars implies you came by boat, so it’s basically like you’re basically saying, “I used my arm-strength to get me here. Now, are you going to give me a table, or am I going to have to use my arm strength to get that too?”