Tuesday, July 24

Completely Unfair Comparisons: On Dining, Unlocking, and Bowling

by Sean Adams

There are plenty of places on Woot where you can find helpful information. This is not one of those places. Every week we will be comparing 3 pairs of things that shouldn’t be compared using this formula: Unrelated Thing X vs. Unrelated Thing Y in terms of Function Z. Facts will be misunderstood, overlooked, or changed for the sake of the argument. Enjoy.

1. Oars vs. Eyes in terms of Getting a Table at the Hottest New Restaurant

People say that you can communicate a lot with your eyes, but that’s the same as saying that you can communicate a lot with Russian: it only works if the other person’s fluent. So even if you could get your eyes to say just the right thing to get you a table at the hottest new restaurant, there’s no guarantee that the maitre d’ will even be able to read it. Oars are totally different. There’s no mistaking their meaning; they show strength and ruggedness. Walking into a restaurant with oars implies you came by boat, so it’s basically like you’re basically saying, “I used my arm-strength to get me here. Now, are you going to give me a table, or am I going to have to use my arm strength to get that too?”

Advantage:

Oars
 

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