Tuesday, January 08

 

Monday, January 07

CES 2013: Oh, great, there's a HIGHER Definition now?!?

by Jason Toon

If you're like me, you're sitting in a hotel room thousands of miles from anyone who cares about you, in the name of covering the 2013 Consumer Electronics Show starting tomorrow in Las Vegas. And you're thinking "WHAT THE FREAK, SCOTT LYDON, WHY DO YOU GET TO SLEEP YOUR IN OWN BED TONIGHT AFTER A 'GRUELING' DAY OF INVENTING FAKE CES COVERAGE?" It's funny how, even in a super-shmancy hotel where the rooms have remote-control linen blinds, the check-in people still remind you that the in-room mini-bar is weight sensitive. No 3 A.M. pig-outs discreetly covered by cut-rate gas-station knockoffs for me.

Just because it's in your room doesn't mean it's free


But you don't care about that. You care about the haps on the ground, the CES recon sitch, the young, restless gadgets bold and beautiful enough to warrant their own yearly soap opera for a few days of our lives. Is "ultra-HD" a real thing we're actually supposed to take seriously, and should I take my Blu-ray collection down to the city dump right now to beat the rush? What if Intel and Qualcomm throw a mobile chip war and nobody shows up? Can we please, please come up with some term for a bulky smartphone other than "phablet"? "Bulky smartphone" works, right?

Jason Toon (artist's rendition)

The answers to none of these questions and more are coming all week long in our CES 2013 coverage, along with stray CES morsels at our @WootLive twitter feed and our Facebook page.

And if you're at the show, say hi! The place is rife with Wootness! There's the official Woot booth at South Hall 1, 21900. There's the world debut of our roving Mortimer mascot in terrifying larger-than-life-size. And there's me: I look like a Groucho mask without the mustache (pictured at left), and I'll be workin' it like Missy Elliott all over the Convention Center. Come up and bump fists with me and you might just see your face (or, I guess, fist) in this space!

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CES: Our 2013 Faux-verage Begins

by Scott Lydon

If you're like us, you're sitting in an office while Jason Toon flies to Las Vegas for a week. And you're thinking "WHAT THE FREAK, JASON TOON, WHY DIDN'T I RATE A TRIP TO WHAT I ASSUME IS PROBABLY A LUXURY HOTEL WITH AN OPEN BAR????" And that's when it hits you, us. The way you can prove yourself to the world. And suddenly, the Faux-verage is born.


 

Over the next week, you'll see Jason's on-the-spot reports from CES every morning. He's going to be shaking hands, meeting people, taking photos, and finding the very best gadgets and gee-gaws. But you'll also be enjoying MY coverage as well, about the things I'm PRETENDING to see. Today, I'm pretending to see the opening ceremonies. Come inside, and let's get started!

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Wednesday, January 18

CES 2012: The Wootable Awards

by Team Chuckle!

Pull your tuxedo t-shirt from the bottom of that pile of laundry. It's time for the awards show awaited by thousands, because it means our interminable CES 2012 coverage is finally complete. Presenting the 2012 Wootable Awards!

This year's salute comes in two parts: the star-studded, no-singing, no-dancing video extravaganza, followed by some pics-and-text bonus honors for truly sad Wootable devotees. Now, everybody, let's Wootable! Take it away, Matthew!

Now, read on for far more Wootable Awards than anyone should waste their time compiling, much less reading:

Most Unfortunate Stock Photo
Everybody at this company was probably too mature to notice, but we were startled to turn a corner and find this guy flipping us the... well, phone, it turns out. But now we can't un-see it...

 

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CES 2012: Touched By A Gizmo

by Jason Toon

Along with battering your soul, CES is tough on your body, too. And where some see aching joints and sore muscles, others see opportunity. This particular carnival of capitalism brings out the massage gadgeteers. Randy and I put our bodies on the line to bring you the story...

Hard to believe that after just one more post later today, our CES 2012 coverage will be over. I think these are tears of joy.

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Tuesday, January 17

CES 2012: The Dungeon Master's Guide

by Jason Toon

We're almost finished prettying up the raw material we gathered last week while we were covering the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas, but we couldn't let our coverage go by without a barbaric yawp-out to our fantasy-lovin' brethren out there. We don't know how much CES can enhance your life, but with a little imagination, it can definitely enhance your D&D campaign.


Sure, you're tired of our CES 2012 coverage now, but you know you'll miss it when it's gone.

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Monday, January 16

What We Saw at CES 2012

by Wootbot

Each of the past three years at this time, we've serenaded you with a ballad telling of the many wondrous sights we beheld at the Consumer Electronics Show. We're going to keep at it, too, until one day you associate this tune with January as strongly as you do any familiar carol with Christmas.

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Friday, January 13

CES 2012: Wet iPad Contest

by Jason Toon

Good news from CES 2012: we're this close to finally winning the War on Water! Yeah, yeah, life wouldn't be possible without water. But does that give it license to ruin our electronics? Matthew Norman delivers a first-hand dispatch from the front lines in the battle against that drippy douche H20.

 

Spectators in the first few rows, unfold your plastic sheeting: we're still sloshing our CES 2012 coverage all over the place.

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