Wednesday, May 15

Stop The Disco Inferno Before It Starts: Woot Weads The Wire

by Scott Lydon 4 days ago

Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.

TOKYO (UPI) -- Mount Fuji has become visible more often from Tokyo than half a century ago, suggesting the air around the Japanese capital has become cleaner, a survey says.

Climate scientists say the study is still preliminary, though, as the sample size was only 36.

Tuesday, May 14

There Can Be Only Pun: Flower Reviews!

by Sean Adams 5 days ago

You guys, I have an addiction. I'm addicted to puns. I need them. I can't get enough of them. I HUNGER FOR THEM. That's why I've set up this weekly blog feature: so you guys can feed my addiction. Every week, I'll name the topic, give you some examples, and then you'll pun away in the comments, on Facebook, or on Twitter. I'll choose the best ones and post them here next week. Sound good? Good! Let's do it!

THIS WEEK'S EPISODE: Flower Reviews

This week's pun topic is a little bit different. We're looking for flower reviews. No, we don't you to rate flowers. We want one line reviews, with flower puns in them. Not sure what we're talking about? Well, we're not too sure either. But anyway, some examples:

The Debunker: Do Police Outline Dead Bodies in Chalk?

by Ken Jennings 5 days ago

Unless you’ve dedicated a lot of time to breaking the law, most of what you know about the cops comes from movies and TV, and those may or may not be just the facts, ma’am. All month, Ken Jennings will be exploring the “thin blue line” between police fact and police fiction. If you actually thought this stuff was true—well, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the comments section.

Police Myth #2: Police Mark Murder Sites with Chalk Outlines.

If you’re ever murdered, don’t worry about trying to strike some hilarious pose. The old cliché of the tape or chalk silhouette might be a nice visual crutch for a cop movie or TV show, but the police aren’t supposed to outline murder victims anymore, if they ever were.

Monday, May 13

Music Monday: Songs About God

by Scott Lydon 6 days ago

Happy Music Monday! Today, Scott's chosen a topic many don't associate with popular music: songs about God. After all, there are as many different ways to worship as there are people, so why can't some rock stars get in on it too? Here's a classic to start us off:

George Harrison - My Sweet Lord

George had a reputation as the nicest Beatle, so it was pretty naturally he'd fall into religion. And, truthfully, the International Society for Krishna Consciousness has met with some controversy over the years. But the idea behind this simple love song is as pure as any Sunday hymn, and much prettier than many. Ultimately, this is just one guy using his gifts to thank his God for everything He has done. You might not agree with the specifics, but you can certainly understand the reasoning.

We've got four more after the jump, and last week's Spotify playlist as well. Then we want YOU to add some tunes! Please remember, we're happy to see songs about all faiths represented in the comments, but we don't want anyone acting like a jerk. It's about sharing great music together, not scoring theology points. Okay? Okay. See you inside…

Friday, May 10

Mother's Day GIFts

by Sam Kemmis 9 days ago

Are you a terrible son or daughter who forgot that Mother's Day is this weekend, and now it's too late to send her a gift? Worry not, wayward offspring -- we've got you covered. Just send your mom one of our homemade Mother's Day GIFts, and she'll weep with joy (because your mom weeps with joy anytime you do anything remotely related to her.)

Wednesday, May 08

But What About Their Sense Of Humor?: Woot Weads The Wire

by Scott Lydon 11 days ago

Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.

VATICAN CITY (UPI) -- The Vatican is now home to two popes, as Pope Francis welcomed his predecessor, retired Pope Benedict XVI, to the former pope's new residence, a spokesman said.

Insiders say Pope Benedict is his normal, super-tidy self, while Pope Francis is already leaving his vestments and hat on the floor. Will these two representatives of God's word ever find a way to live together?

The Trivial Eye: Chairs of the 20th Century

by Jason Toon 11 days ago

If you wanted to be a truly legendary designer during the 20th century, you had to make at least one great chair. The world we live in - offices, especially - is adorned with countless knockoffs of the innovative chair designs of the masters. You'll doubtless recognize the shapes and angles of these chairs - but can you name them and their designers?

Tuesday, May 07

There Can Be Only Pun: States of Mind

by Sean Adams 12 days ago

You guys, I have an addiction. I'm addicted to puns. I need them. I can't get enough of them. I HUNGER FOR THEM. That's why I've set up this weekly blog feature: so you guys can feed my addiction. Every week, I'll name the topic, give you some examples, and then you'll pun away in the comments, on Facebook, or on Twitter. I'll choose the best ones and post them here next week. Sound good? Good! Let's do it!

THIS WEEK'S EPISODE: States of Mind

Here's what we want this week, states… OF MIND! Get it? Like, it's a state, and it's a state of mind! Here are a few examples:

The Debunker: Do Undercover Cops Have To Identify Themselves?

by Ken Jennings 12 days ago

In 1962, a joint resolution of Congress made the third week of May “National Police Week,” a time to recognize the sacrifices made by the nation’s law enforcement officers. But let’s face it: unless you’ve dedicated a lot of time to breaking the law, most of what you know about the cops comes from movies and TV, and those may or may not be just the facts, ma’am. All month, Ken Jennings will be exploring the “thin blue line” between police fact and police fiction. If you actually thought this stuff was true—well, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the comments section.

Police Myth #1: Undercover Cops Have to Identify Themselves When Asked.

If everything you know about police procedure comes from an elite social circle of hookers, pot dealers, and paranoid college activists, then you probably agree wholeheartedly with this rule of thumb: any time you suspect someone of being a plainclothes cop, you can unmask them by this clever ruse of asking them! Presumably, at that point, the unconvincing john/buyer/whatever will shake his fist impotently at you, rip off his fake mustache, and stalk off into the night, his arrest thwarted.

Monday, May 06

Music Monday: Fun-kay

by Scott Lydon 13 days ago

Happy Music Monday! It's getting warm out, people are wearing less, and that's a good excuse to start havin' fun. We're gonna get funky today, and we invite you to join us.

Gap Band - Early In The Morning

The music is top notch, but even if it wasn't, you'd still have a good reason to love The Gap Band. What reason, you ask? THOSE HATS. Also of note is how The Gap Band made their song so impervious that even cover versions will remain substantially funky.

It's only gettin' funkier from here. See you after the jump.