You might remember back in December of 2010 our Wootcast made mention of Utilikilts, in which it inspired our Million-Dollar Idea, The Utilitutu. Well, as fate would have it, Utilikilts popped up on our radar once again today on the PAX show floor.
Where did it come from? As the saying goes, dehydrated intoxication is the mother of necessity. According to legend, a man was out working on his motorcycle one hot afternoon in the Ballard neighborhood of Seattle. He was hot. He was sweaty. He might have been a little drunk. That’s not important. What you need to know is that he had the genius idea to cut the crotch out of his jeans, because who needs that thing, right?? Anway, after that, he asked his sister to teach him how to sew, and the rest, as they say is history.
The Utilikilts idea is a patriotic one. When they advertise themselves as “American made utility kilts for everyday wear” they sure do mean American. These kilts are made in America, by America, and with materials from America. And, I mean, could there possibly be a better product to display such patriotism? Who could possibly look at a kilt and think of any country aside from America?
“Whoa, whoa! Hold on! Utility kilt? For what could it possibly be utilized for?” That’s a good question with an even better answer: gettin’ crunk! When shopping for your utility kilt, you want to have two important numbers in mind: 1) your waist size, and 2) how many brewskis you want to be hauling around. Don’t worry; the options are varied to suit any (heavy) drinking habit. For example, you’ve got your “original” Utilikilt; this guy’s got you covered for 5 beers. On the other hand, the Survival (pictured above in fashionable camoflauge) can pack UP TO 20 BOTTLES OF BEER! And I know that I may not be speaking for everyone here, but personally there is no better recipe for a good time on Friday night than twenty beers and an article of clothing that allows me to quickly and easily expose my junk!
But seriously, just go to their website and browse their photos, and you’ll see that Utilikilts can actually be used for all sorts of things. Why just look at this guy, working construction! No shirt, no hair, no inseam, no problem!
Peek under our kilts at our PAX coverage all weekend long.
I didn't go to PAX to play the same old games everybody else is playing. Mostly because I'm pretty terrible at video games and I'd make a fool of myself in front of a large group of people. But also because I crave the new, the novel, the exciting. As I scanned the exhibition hall at PAX, seeking out that fresh thrill, a pair of cartoon muttonchops beckoned to me from a video screen. Could it be...? Was it...? It was! 21st President Chester A. Arthur! What's a third-tier caretaker president like you doing in a place like this?
Turns out virtual Chet was starring in a new iPad/iPhone app game called Uncle Slam: President vs. President. Woot writer Sean Adams and I sat down to an iPad and squared off. Since I couldn't play my distant relation James Buchanan - whose consensus reputation as a very bad president I choose to interpret as "bad as in 'bad-ass'" - I settled for the next-worst thing, Millard Fillmore, unlucky #13. Sean took his namesake John Adams. It was the battle history has been waiting for.
Unfortunately the game was fairly lame. I feel bad saying it. It's a cute idea and everything. But the controls weren't at all responsive, the combat options were limited even by iPad app standards, and neither Sean, nor I, nor any of the other players playing the demo at the booth seemed to understand why their chosen presidents didn't seem to be doing what the players wanted them to do.
Not that I let any of that deprive me of the satisfaction of victory. Eat canvas, Adams - you just got Millarded!
I really wanted to like this game, but the clumsy gameplay (and liberal use of Comic Sans) had me voting for impeachment. While the concept behind Uncle Slam may be worthy of a James Monroe or Dwight Eisenhower, but the execution is more at the level of a Warren G. Harding.
Stay tuned for more PAX coverage on the Woot blog this weekend, including an exclusive first look at Walter Mondale: Mechacommando.
This weekend, 60,000-odd gamers (and we do mean odd) will descend on Seattle for PAX Prime, the gigantic convention of videogamers, table-top gamers, and other assorted weirdos. Two of the weirdest will be me (below) and fellow Woot writer Sean Adams (slightly less far below), and we'll pass the lunacy on to you right here on the Woot blog and the @WootLive twitter feed.
No, you can't have any cheese. We're saving it for the EA Origin afterparty.
If you see us stumbling around, do NOT look us in the eyes. You might set off our defensive reflexes and we can't be responsible for what happens next. (Naw, f'real, if you see two nerds in Woot shirts, please say hi. Whether they happen to be us or not, nerds in Woot shirts need all the love we can get.)
Anyway, whether you're in Seattle for PAX or valiantly defending the freedom of the Yars from the ruthless Qotile back at home, keep your eye on the Woot blog and the @WootLive twitter feed (Internet connection permitting) for the kind of PAX coverage that nobody else would ever stoop to posting online!