Wednesday, September 11

Letterman Only Got To First Base: Woot Weads The Wire

by Scott Lydon

Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.

NEW YORK (UPI) -- Hip-hop star Jay Z says he will kick off the North American leg of his "Magna Carter World Tour" Nov. 30 in St. Paul, Minn.

Promoters expect the tour to stall near Runnymede, when Jay Z is kidnapped by a small group of rappers demanding a document that ensures them a larger voice in his recording process.

 

 

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Wednesday, August 28

Good Fences Make Good Neighbors: Woot Weads The Wire

by Scott Lydon

Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.

BEER-SHEVA, Israel (UPI) -- Teens listening to music they prefer while driving make more errors than those listening to music specially chosen to promote safety, researchers in Israel say.

Which is good news for the band Men Without Hats!

 

 

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Wednesday, August 21

More Like Sterling-Drunker: Woot Weads The Wire

by Scott Lydon

Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.

WASHINGTON (UPI) -- Barrels labeled Dow Chemical found under a soccer field on the Japanese island of Okinawa did not contain Agent Orange, a U.S. military consultant says.

Apparently they were just full of those adorable Scrubbing Bubbles!

 

 

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Wednesday, August 07

Still Better Than Waterboarding: Woot Weads The Wire

by Scott Lydon



Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.

LONDON (UPI) -- Google co-founder Sergey Brin has been revealed as the man who bankrolled the research producing the world's first lab-grown hamburger, unveiled in London.

It just goes too show: no matter how rich you get, you can still wind up making burgers.

 

Tommy behind the counter says it's inspired by Shack Shack..  and he's huge foursquare fan!

 

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Wednesday, July 31

And God Help The Bun Baker: Woot Weads The Wire

by Scott Lydon

Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.

ESTES PARK, Colo. (UPI) -- A black bear wandered into a Colorado bar recently, sniffed around and left without the human patrons even noticing, video shows.

Those familiar with the bar say the bear went unnoticed as patrons were too busy watching a priest, a rabbi and an Irishman walking in the door, in hopes they might learn a new joke.

 

Bear in Worbis

 

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Wednesday, July 24

Or Maybe He Has A Fake ID: Woot Weads The Wire

by Scott Lydon

Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.

LONDON (UPI) -- The day-old son of Prince William and his wife, Kate Middleton, was born with the heaviest birth weight of any future British monarch in generations: 8 pounds, 6 ounces.

The royal spokesperson says that doctors who refer to the future king as "Henry The Weight" face immediate imprisonment in the Tower of London.

 

 

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Wednesday, July 10

Dark Arbuckle: Woot Weads The Wire

by Scott Lydon

Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.

WARRENTON, N.C. (UPI) -- A North Carolina judge says a woman convicted of resisting a public officer and being intoxicated and disruptive must write an essay on being a lady.

Highlights are expected to include hating Siamese cats and the proper technique for eating spaghetti on a date.

 

DSC01613

 

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Wednesday, June 26

Mister Dar¢y: Woot Weads The Wire

by Scott Lydon

Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.

(UPI) Bakery company Hostess Brands LLC is emerging from its second bankruptcy proceeding in four years, and will resume selling its iconic snack cake, the Twinkie, nationwide in the U.S.

Historians are relieved that a generation of schoolchildren will not miss out on making jokes about chocolate covered Ding Dongs.

 

The end of an era: The last Ding Dongs

 

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Wednesday, June 19

From 38 Special To ZZ Top: Woot Weads The Wire

by Scott Lydon

Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.

NEW YORK, June 17 (UPI) -- The New York Office of Emergency Management said it spiked the scenting agent added to natural gas with cinnamon to prevent 911 calls during work.

And, in an unrelated story, the Chairman of the New York Office of Emergency Management has bought a new house with the dividends from the growth of his Cinnabon stock!

 

Cinnamon Buns

 

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Wednesday, June 12

Everybody's Doin' A [REDACTED] Now: Woot Weads The Wire

by Scott Lydon

Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.

BERLIN (UPI) -- The longest word in the German language, Rindfleischetikettierungsuberwachungsaufgabenubertragungsgesetz, has been nixed by regional officials.

Naturally this has created the option for a brand new longest word, Rindfleischetikettierungsuberwachungsaufgabenubertragungsgesetznix, which is the act of nixing Rindfleischetikettierungsuberwachungsaufgabenubertragungsgesetz.

 

Just An Old Book

 

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