Wednesday, July 09

Dawn Of The Crapsmaster

by wootbot

"The Crapsmaster has divided the Clans of Wootcrap! Can you stand together and defeat his final boss, George Takei? Or will you collapse under the weight of his machinations and cry yourself to sleep? EEEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEEE"

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Tuesday, July 08

World of Wootcrap XP: Do The Russell Hustle

by Sam Kemmis

Three clans rest, stone-faced, on the icy field: V'owls, Squarryls, and Betta Koi. 

"To Battle!" comes an unknown voice, and the armies march. But where? Why? What is the cause of this bloodshed, and, more importantly, how do you win at this stupid game? 

Like any good early leveling opportunity (killing rats, retrieving a missing wedding ring), this one is both demeaning and pointless: POST A VIDEO OF YOURSELF DANCING LIKE A DANCING PARTY ANIMAL. 


The best videos (in our unassailable taste) will be featured and harshly judged on our birthday this Friday. Happy Dancing! (And don't expect the mists of time to reveal your new level right away. The level gods are busy). 

Embed a YouTube video like this: [youtube=VideoID][/youtube], or just post a link to a Vine, Newsreel, or whatever the heck you want.


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The Debunker: Are Meteorites White-Hot When They Land?

by Ken Jennings

Lord Almighty, I feel my temperature rising. If you live in the Northern Hemisphere, July is the beginning of the “dog days” of summer, the hottest period of the year. But you know what’s cool on a hot day? Knowledge. Grab a tall glass of lemonade, settle down in a hammock under a shady tree, and let Jeopardy! wunderkind Ken Jennings set you straight on some shamefully persistent misinformation about hot stuff.

The Debunker: Are Meteorites White-Hot When They Land?

First of all, let’s settle this “shooting stars” thing once and for all. Feel free to make a wish on a streak of light in the night sky, but what you’re seeing is, of course, not a star. It’s a meteoroid—a small chunk of a comet or an asteroid. When the meteoroid enters the atmosphere, friction produces a burst of light and heat, which we call a meteor. If the whole thing doesn’t burn up during its descent, a fragment of rock may fall to Earth, at which point it becomes a meteorite. Got it? The order is asteroid -> meteoroid -> meteor -> meteorite.

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Monday, July 07

Music Monday: Sour Milk: Novelty Songs You Gotta Share

by Scott Lydon

It's Music Monday! What's the best way to prove you're someone's friend? Why, by giving them horrible music, of course! Nothing shows your respect like the words "Wow, you've GOT to hear this crap!" Today Scott's showing his love for you by slapping down five of the WORST songs he knows. After you listen, feel free to repay him in kind.

Dr. Dave - Vanna, Pick Me A Letter


In one quick motion, David Kolin crossed the voice of Cheech Marin with the smooth skill of Alex Chilton and- well, churned out this mid-80s novelty hit about Wheel Of Fortune. At least he didn't go back to do "Jeopardy Gurls," right?

The terror only continues within. See you after the jump!

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World Of Wootcrap: Rise Of The Clans

by Scott Lydon


glub glub airline food right
chrrp chrrrp cheee
hooty hooo

Are you a mighty Squarryl, drawing strength and sustenance from the middle-lands? Or a valiant V'owl that soars above the mountain high-lands? Or perhaps you're a stalwart Betta Koi, standing firm against those who would pit their wit against yours?

Keep an eye on your Forums User Info Place (you know, this thing) to see if the mist has changed you yet. Once you've been transformed, take note of your friends. Stare through bitter eyes at your enemies. Peek at the blog now and again to learn what those experience points are all about. And gird your loins for the combat that will inevitably begin at about 11am (Central) on July 11th. For when the battle begins, all loins shall be at risk, and only the most-girded shall arise victoriously!

Curious who's in what Clan? Lichme made a handy cheat-sheet

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Wednesday, July 02