ThunderThighs


quality posts: 605 Private Messages ThunderThighs

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Post away!



2014 Update: Cleaned out all the broken links.




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ThunderThighs


quality posts: 605 Private Messages ThunderThighs

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A very vain and bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he writes to a costume company to explain his problem. A few days later he received a parcel with the following note:

Sir, Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and, with your wooden leg, you will be just right as a pirate.
Very truly yours, Acme Costume Co.


The man thinks this is terrible because they have just emphasized his wooden leg and so he writes a letter of complaint. A week goes by and he receives another parcel and a note, which says:

Sir, Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and, with your bald head, you will really look the part.
Very truly yours, Acme Costume Co.


Now the man is really upset since they have gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head so again he writes the company another nasty letter of complaint. The next day he gets a small parcel and a note which reads:

Dear Sir, Please find the enclosed bottle of molasses. Pour the molasses over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your posterior and go as a caramel apple.
Very truly yours, Acme Costume Co.




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ThunderThighs


quality posts: 605 Private Messages ThunderThighs

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Costumes for Programmers




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AZGman


quality posts: 3 Private Messages AZGman

Halloween fun . . . claymore in the candy bowl!!!

Grumpy 'til the day I die.

peglegwookie


quality posts: 1 Private Messages peglegwookie
daj59 wrote:A very vain and bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he writes to a costume company to explain his problem. A few days later he received a parcel with the following note:

Sir, Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and, with your wooden leg, you will be just right as a pirate.
Very truly yours, Acme Costume Co.


The man thinks this is terrible because they have just emphasized his wooden leg and so he writes a letter of complaint. A week goes by and he receives another parcel and a note, which says:

Sir, Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and, with your bald head, you will really look the part.
Very truly yours, Acme Costume Co.


Now the man is really upset since they have gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head so again he writes the company another nasty letter of complaint. The next day he gets a small parcel and a note which reads:

Dear Sir, Please find the enclosed bottle of molasses. Pour the molasses over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your posterior and go as a caramel apple.
Very truly yours, Acme Costume Co.



daj59 you really have outdone yourself I love this one. and the others you posted are hirious too.

AZGman


quality posts: 3 Private Messages AZGman

Halloween fun . . . instead of candy, hand out accumulated hotel shampoo, soap, and conditioner . . . .

Grumpy 'til the day I die.

ThunderThighs


quality posts: 605 Private Messages ThunderThighs

Staff

Two nuns, Sister Mary Agnes and Sister Mary Vincent, are travelling through Europe in their car, sightseeing in Transylvania. As they are stopped at a traffic light, out of nowhere, a small vampire jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses at them through the windshield.

"Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Mary Agnes, "What should we do?"

"Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination," says Sister Mary Vincent.

Sister Mary Agnes switches on the wipers, which knock the mini-Dracula around. But, he hangs on and continues hissing at the nuns. "What shall I do now?" she shouts.

"Try the windshield washer. I filled it with holy water before we left the Vatican," replies Sister Mary Vincent.

Sister Mary Agnes turns on the windshield washer. The vampire screams as the water burns his skin, but he hangs on and continues hissing at the nuns.

"Now what?" shouts Sister Mary Agnes.

"Show him your cross," says Sister Mary Vincent.

"Now you're talking," says Sister Mary Agnes. She then opens the window and shouts, "Get the hell off our car!"




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ThunderThighs


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Ten Signs You Are Too Old For Halloween


You get winded from knocking on the door

You have to have someone chew the candy for you

You ask for high fiber candy only.

When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.

People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!" and you're not wearing a mask.

When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and you can't remember the rest.

By the end of the night you have a bag full of restraining orders.

You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hair piece.

You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.

You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.




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ThunderThighs


quality posts: 605 Private Messages ThunderThighs

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ThunderThighs


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Candidate for grossest Halloween costume.




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pooflady


quality posts: 20 Private Messages pooflady
daj59 wrote:Candidate for grossest Halloween costume.



Ewwww.



The biggest lie that I tell myself daily..."I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

ThunderThighs


quality posts: 605 Private Messages ThunderThighs

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pooflady wrote:Ewwww.

I warned ya.




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ThunderThighs


quality posts: 605 Private Messages ThunderThighs

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ThunderThighs


quality posts: 605 Private Messages ThunderThighs

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peglegwookie


quality posts: 1 Private Messages peglegwookie



hehe liked this one.

edit: sometimes it shows and sometimes it doesn't sorry

ThunderThighs


quality posts: 605 Private Messages ThunderThighs

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Pumpkin gallery




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Raining


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Raining

The reason I know how to do this is DAJ taught me.


2005vette


quality posts: 0 Private Messages 2005vette

uiopreturns


quality posts: 0 Private Messages uiopreturns
2005vette wrote:



New breed - spidog

goldfishinapicklejar


quality posts: 0 Private Messages goldfishinapicklejar

These are all great, you have too much freetime!

Brothersistercd


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Brothersistercd
goldfishinapicklejar wrote:These are all great, you have too much freetime!



Sez the person that had time to come up with the rotisserie candy corn!

Power to the people, right on!


mmmmpf, mmmmmppppffff

Raining


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Raining



AZGman


quality posts: 3 Private Messages AZGman
Raining wrote:



Bada-bing!! It's R'ing!!! Hiya!

Grumpy 'til the day I die.

ThunderThighs


quality posts: 605 Private Messages ThunderThighs

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Scary Mary trailer




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ThunderThighs


quality posts: 605 Private Messages ThunderThighs

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60 second costume ideas.




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ThunderThighs


quality posts: 605 Private Messages ThunderThighs

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Halloween video Guy doing Ace Ventura character. Cute.




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peglegwookie


quality posts: 1 Private Messages peglegwookie

Some other good costume ideas here...
http://www.thefunplace.com/halloween/

peglegwookie


quality posts: 1 Private Messages peglegwookie



this goes for you to daj as well as kt and the gang

peglegwookie


quality posts: 1 Private Messages peglegwookie

peglegwookie


quality posts: 1 Private Messages peglegwookie

shan24


quality posts: 3 Private Messages shan24

peglegwookie


quality posts: 1 Private Messages peglegwookie



for those who have a small wiener dog.

peglegwookie


quality posts: 1 Private Messages peglegwookie

Dv8r as a child

darthv8r


quality posts: 0 Private Messages darthv8r
peglegwookie wrote:Dv8r as a child

epic lulz!! but I think you looked cuter!

peglegwookie


quality posts: 1 Private Messages peglegwookie

Look honey it only costs $449 dollars, it's on sale even!

ThunderThighs


quality posts: 605 Private Messages ThunderThighs

Staff

Wow! Awesome Halloween Decorated House (video)




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ThunderThighs


quality posts: 605 Private Messages ThunderThighs

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Welcome new friends and thanks for the additions.





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ThunderThighs


quality posts: 605 Private Messages ThunderThighs

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A man was walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind him he hears:





BUMP...



BUMP...



BUMP...



Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.



BUMP...



BUMP...



BUMP...




Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him




FASTER...




FASTER...




BUMP...




BUMP...




BUMP...




He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.


However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping.




clappity-BUMP...




clappity-BUMP...




clappity-BUMP...



on his heels.

The terrified man runs.


Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.




With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.





Bumping and clapping toward him.





The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can
find is a bottle of cough syrup!






Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...













and,

















(hopefully you're ready for this!!!)








The coffin stops






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pooflady


quality posts: 20 Private Messages pooflady

Grooooaaaaannnn.



The biggest lie that I tell myself daily..."I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

spongebrain


quality posts: 0 Private Messages spongebrain
pooflady wrote:Grooooaaaaannnn.

Oh the humanity! Just think of all of the innocent bits that gave their lives for that post.

Life goes on...and on...and on...