This is getting really old, but I'll say it again: sorry about the delay, wooters! On top of everything else going on lately, this week I was summoned for jury doody (misspelling intentional! Take that, judicial branch!). It took them three days to notice my tinfoil helmet and my JFK IS STILL ALIVE t-shirt and dismiss me. Now I'm finally at liberty to announce the winners of our challenge to Design an award for the Worst Woot of 2006, and by jingo, announce them I shall:
First Prize - $100
Josephus - Wooden Worst Woot Wand
Whoa! Way wicked! Watch the video, too!
Second Prize - $50
wonderstew - The Golden Dustbuster of Shame
Another actual trophy - and another video. No, this is not a magic formula for winning future contests. And no, we've never sold a Dustbuster, but we appreciate its esteemed position as the spiritual grandpappy of all semi-useful household gadgetry.
Third Prize - $20
JoeDeeDee - All I Got Were These Stupid Mediocre Binoculars
Woot t-shirts? Who'd want anything like that?
SailorSpoon - Figure 40 Leg-Lock
He's got legs, and he knows how to ruin them.
tgentry - I Don't Feel Tardy
Hey, I may be chronically late, but I do know how to spell "tomorrow."
buckie74 - Gilt Trip
Thanks for keeping it just this side of tasteful.
Champions' Championship Champion
shan24 - You May Already Be A Winner
Pay no attention to that 9-digit zip code.
And finally, a Monkey Prize that raises an interesting philosophical quandary: what does it mean to do the worst job of saluting the Worst Woot? Isn't a horrendous contest entry actually more appropriate than the well-made trophies above, and hence more worthy of approval? With the help of K-Fed, a can of Sterno, and a whole lot of jaggies, cwalker710 answers with a resounding "no".
If you created a money-winning entry, please email your Paypal info to firstname.lastname@example.org. Monkey Prize winner, send your mailing address to the same. Honorable Mentioneers may use coupon code HONMEN-FS for free shipping on a future order. Until next time, remember: we're only as bad as our Worst Woot. So in other words, we're extremely bad.