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WootBot


 quality posts: 14 Private Messages WootBot

Staff

  1. If you hiccup and fart at the same time, your stomach will turn inside out.
  2. If you combine turkey, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce and one green vegetable, you get the chemicals which make LSD, which is why Thanksgiving always gets so freaky and everyone gets into fights.
  3. AIDS came from people French-kissing their dogs.
  4. The secret ingredient in Taco Bell 7-Layer Burritos is horse blood.
  5. Simon Cowell is actually from Oklahoma, and just talks that way on TV.
  6. If you fold a dollar bill a certain way, you can see Betsy Ross naked.
  7. Daddy Longlegs’ legs taste like spearmint.
  8. The inventor of Elmer’s Glue was born with horns, and that’s his picture on the bottle.
  9. Everyone who has ever beat Ninja Gaiden Black has died the next day.
  10. ABBA stands for “All-father Baal Beats Angels”.
  11. Yu-Gi-Oh! was supposed to have a new season but the FBI stepped in and shut it down under the Patriot Act, and no one knows why.
  12. The phrase “Every Good Boy Deserves Fudge” is propaganda created and promoted by the American Fudge Council.
  13. Girls don't wear underwear in Canada.
  14. The film rating XXX is pronounced “kccchhggh”.
  15. If you have ever touched a baked potato without gloves, the government has your fingerprints on file.
  16. There is cocaine at the center of Polly-O String Cheese.
  17. If you play Paper Mario for exactly fifty-five hours, fifty-five minutes, and fifty-five seconds, you’ll get a cheat code that lets you play as Lara Croft...naked.


mattlscc


 quality posts: 34 Private Messages mattlscc

Wow, pretty random...

If you could only pick 3 of these to be true...which 3 would you pick?

CLS Helper
TV HardDrive

rickjames564


 quality posts: 0 Private Messages rickjames564

lulz..im in third period right now

WOOTs - x11
Shirt.Woots - x31
Money Blown - ????

evancd


 quality posts: 0 Private Messages evancd

13 is definitely true...

Lulabelle


 quality posts: 0 Private Messages Lulabelle

18. If you don't close your eyes when you sneeze, your eyeballs will pop out of your head.

Toadlet


 quality posts: 8 Private Messages Toadlet

I wonder how many of us understand #12, with music education disappearing from schools and all. I learned it as "Every good boy does fine." Also: "Elephants got big dirty feet."

I appear to be melting.

drgnmstr


 quality posts: 0 Private Messages drgnmstr

I can actually say from experience that 1 is not true, however if you hiccup, fart, sneeze, and burp while urinating at the same time, it hurts a lot.

firesickle


 quality posts: 0 Private Messages firesickle

Excited Guys Bite Delicious Funyons

tehpwnerer


 quality posts: 1 Private Messages tehpwnerer

Every good bird does fly

nap4488


 quality posts: 0 Private Messages nap4488

Don't forget the other guys:

All Cows Eat Grass OR All Cars Eat Gas

ralphshelton


 quality posts: 0 Private Messages ralphshelton

Ours was "Even God Buys Dairy Freeze"

aehawkes


 quality posts: 1 Private Messages aehawkes

If you swallow your gum, it takes 7 years to digest.

Gatzby


 quality posts: 43 Private Messages Gatzby

Staff

Toadlet wrote:I wonder how many of us understand #12, with music education disappearing from schools and all. I learned it as "Every good boy does fine." Also: "Elephants got big dirty feet."



Empty garbage before dad flips here. They also beat us with hoses. But it was okay, it was their way of telling us they loved us. And they only loved us when they were drinking, because it lets the feelings out.

Did you know shirt.woot ships internationally? Get you some!
Why do my posts always get deleted? -- Noise Reduction -- Try it in podcast format.
No, you can't have our iPod, keys, or Lego. Sorry.

Raining


 quality posts: 0 Private Messages Raining
Gatzby wrote:Empty garbage before dad flips here. They also beat us with hoses. But it was okay, it was their way of telling us they loved us. And they only loved us when they were drinking, because it lets the feelings out.


Your kidding, this didn't happen to you, did it?

Slydon


 quality posts: 15 Private Messages Slydon

Staff

Raining wrote:Your kidding, this didn't happen to you, did it?



I used to dream about getting beaten with hoses. For me, it was always rakes. And not even aluminum rakes, but rakes made of iron.

Hi, I'm one of the writers. My powers are limited but I'll do what I can.

Raining


 quality posts: 0 Private Messages Raining
Slydon wrote:I used to dream about getting beaten with hoses. For me, it was always rakes. And not even aluminum rakes, but rakes made of iron.


You guys are just kidding.

Ozzie2191


 quality posts: 51 Private Messages Ozzie2191
Slydon wrote:I used to dream about getting beaten with hoses. For me, it was always rakes. And not even aluminum rakes, but rakes made of iron.



Luxury.

We used to get smacked with shovels, after we used them to put the coal in the stove, and afterwards we would have cakes made from the ashes from the previous day. And we liked it.

**Witty signature fail**Out of cheese error**Redo from start**

Fischsticks


 quality posts: 0 Private Messages Fischsticks

number 6 is so awesome you guys should try it

Gatzby


 quality posts: 43 Private Messages Gatzby

Staff

Slydon wrote:I used to dream about getting beaten with hoses. For me, it was always rakes. And not even aluminum rakes, but rakes made of iron.



Back in my day, the rakes were made of lead. They didn't work for leaves, but they weren't supposed to. They were beatin' rakes. We dreamed of iron ones.

Did you know shirt.woot ships internationally? Get you some!
Why do my posts always get deleted? -- Noise Reduction -- Try it in podcast format.
No, you can't have our iPod, keys, or Lego. Sorry.

dontwantaname


 quality posts: 12 Private Messages dontwantaname

Volunteer Moderator

Gatzby wrote:Back in my day, the rakes were made of lead. They didn't work for leaves, but they weren't supposed to. They were beatin' rakes. We dreamed of iron ones.



You two are really weird!



WE LURV YOU TOO! Dork!!!

Gatzby


 quality posts: 43 Private Messages Gatzby

Staff

dontwantaname wrote:You two are really weird!



Hey, nobody's making fun of your childhood.

Did you know shirt.woot ships internationally? Get you some!
Why do my posts always get deleted? -- Noise Reduction -- Try it in podcast format.
No, you can't have our iPod, keys, or Lego. Sorry.

no1


 quality posts: 7 Private Messages no1
dontwantaname wrote:You two are really weird!


Gatzby wrote:Hey, nobody's making fun of your childhood.


Mr. Gatzby, that's because nobody can remember back that far.

...uh oh, is this mod baiting...?

pandamonium long sleeve tee YAY MEDIOCRITY!

pressmenot


 quality posts: 0 Private Messages pressmenot
Ozzie2191 wrote:Luxury.

We used to get smacked with shovels, after we used them to put the coal in the stove, and afterwards we would have cakes made from the ashes from the previous day. And we liked it.



Oh, I miss Monty so... one of my all time favorite bits.

Slydon


 quality posts: 15 Private Messages Slydon

Staff

no1 wrote:Mr. Gatzby, that's because nobody can remember back that far.

...uh oh, is this mod baiting...?



Some of us are more equal than others.

Hi, I'm one of the writers. My powers are limited but I'll do what I can.
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