WootBot


quality posts: 15 Private Messages WootBot

Staff

  1. Your family photos are accompanied by text ads for skin care and diet plans.
  2. Removes all Falun Gong references from your files.
  3. Every month, the hard drive is automatically defragged and investigated for anti-trust violations.
  4. Invests in, develops, acquires, and abandons your best ideas.
  5. Integrated tax preparation software includes "I'm Feeling Lucky" deductible button.
  6. Changes your icons daily, forcing you to look up which obscure scientific figure is having a birthday.
  7. Spends 20% of its time not doing what you tell it to do.
  8. Prevents all evil activity unless it is deemed to be for the good of the shareholders.
  9. Masseuse comes by every Monday afternoon.
  10. Constant crashes won't bother anybody as long as it's labeled "Beta".
  11. "Beta" status won't expire until 2038.

        

goattuber


quality posts: 0 Private Messages goattuber

Defragging is for the inefficient filesystems of Windows. Chrome OS will most likely be based on Linux.

balasuar


quality posts: 1 Private Messages balasuar

Hell yeah WootBot. Preach On Brother Man!

dijit4l


quality posts: 0 Private Messages dijit4l
goattuber wrote:Defragging is for the inefficient filesystems of Windows. Chrome OS will most likely be based on Linux.



Serious wooter is serious.

--dijit4l

collimd


quality posts: 0 Private Messages collimd

Wow... Y'all really are Yahoo! sellouts. At Chrome will be better than Windows... I hope.

dave bug


quality posts: 14 Private Messages dave bug

Ah, found another one: Presents you with your embarrassing low personal PageRank every time you boot up.

Zerxer


quality posts: 2 Private Messages Zerxer

Funny. I'd use it over Windows.

rjfrasca


quality posts: 0 Private Messages rjfrasca

Chrome is an appeasment of large scale advertisers who have lost their ass with Google the past 18 months. It's fun to hate MS and I have been there with everyone else, but this OS is going to suck. It's another method of Google indexing your every thought, emotion and secret, so they can squeeze another 2 pennies from their failing advertisers.

goattuber


quality posts: 0 Private Messages goattuber
dijit4l wrote:Serious wooter is serious.



Well, the internet is serious business.

dave bug


quality posts: 14 Private Messages dave bug

Oh, here's another one buried in the code:

- OS Analytics creates beautiful charts and graphs of your daily actions and activities that you don't want anyone to know about.

You guys find any?

wn7shp


quality posts: 0 Private Messages wn7shp

I laughed, this is a good list

djatwill


quality posts: 0 Private Messages djatwill

Another operating system were you can be safe from hackers while you view pictures, surf the web and edit text files. In addition you get to spend several hours of your day dual botting back and forth in to windows so you can actually use software that does something productive.

PoisonedV


quality posts: 0 Private Messages PoisonedV
dijit4l wrote:Serious wooter is serious.



Not quite. Linux does need defragmentation, but almost no one knows that, and it's not in the same capacity as windows does

Human After All

chip1234


quality posts: 0 Private Messages chip1234

I L-O-Led for real

kernelsandirs


quality posts: 0 Private Messages kernelsandirs

Wow, someone really really wanted to get bought by Google and... best. thing. ever..

(I just wanted to say best. thing. ever. since it is the cool new thing to say apparently(new is subjective))

bobthegoat2001


quality posts: 2 Private Messages bobthegoat2001

I'm guessing it'll be just like Linux. It'll be interesting to try it out, but if you want to get any work done (or play games) you'll need Windows.

caffeine_dude


quality posts: 13 Private Messages caffeine_dude
djatwill wrote:Another operating system were you can be safe from hackers while you view pictures, surf the web and edit text files. In addition you get to spend several hours of your day dual botting back and forth in to windows so you can actually use software that does something productive.



You must not use Ubuntu, it has all the software you mentioned (not by name)...
Picasa
Firefox
OpenOffice 3.0

Please don't delete this post, I am trying, honest!

caffeine_dude


quality posts: 13 Private Messages caffeine_dude
bobthegoat2001 wrote:I'm guessing it'll be just like Linux. It'll be interesting to try it out, but if you want to get any work done (or play games) you'll need Windows.



The company I work for uses Lotus Notes for email, among other things and Open Office for spreadsheets,documents, and power points.
as for gaming, it's not here yet but:
http://www.gamewithabrain.com/2008/02/29/news/google-to-bring-cloud-computing-to-gaming

Please don't delete this post, I am trying, honest!

ChanceUSC


quality posts: 0 Private Messages ChanceUSC

Rofl, great job guys. This was in my first email of the day which was awesome. I really love how anything Google attempts to do is hailed as the next best thing before anyone actually sees the damn thing. It's literally like they are the Big Brother that everyone looks up to, even though he's constantly stealing your Kazaam (1996). Its okay though, cause he's cool right?

I also love how people are so quick to jump the gun on the "WINDOWZ BLOWZ MANG" train. To all of those saying it will be better than Windows - do you have any idea what the hell you are talking about or are you simply regurgitating the Mac commercials? Infact, what specifically are you speaking about? I'm curious to hear your complaints vs the pros of a nix distro.

fadumpt


quality posts: 0 Private Messages fadumpt

I gotta answer your second paragraph. I don't use Windows at home (at work because I get paid to fix it) out of personal preference. I was constantly annoyed with being bugged about everything Windows thought I had to know that minute with it's popup message boxes. It's lack of security without third party software is painful. It's lack of customization makes it very monotonous to use. It's idea that it knows what is best for me when it comes to how I should use it is obnoxious. It's lack of little detail features that I am now used to having available to get things done faster makes using it a slow, clunky process at times.

At the end of the day...Linux's ability to just work, to be fast, to do everything I need (even windows applications) and do it well and for free, and let me use the computer how I want without being bogged down with licensing, popups (windows,otherwise), and obnoxious flaws/features make it a comforting experience to come home to after suffering with all of Windows' shortcomings.

Thanks for the vent request.

ChanceUSC wrote:Rofl, great job guys. This was in my first email of the day which was awesome. I really love how anything Google attempts to do is hailed as the next best thing before anyone actually sees the damn thing. It's literally like they are the Big Brother that everyone looks up to, even though he's constantly stealing your Kazaam (1996). Its okay though, cause he's cool right?

I also love how people are so quick to jump the gun on the "WINDOWZ BLOWZ MANG" train. To all of those saying it will be better than Windows - do you have any idea what the hell you are talking about or are you simply regurgitating the Mac commercials? Infact, what specifically are you speaking about? I'm curious to hear your complaints vs the pros of a nix distro.



nrarmen


quality posts: 6 Private Messages nrarmen

This is a great list. That is all.

ertolsma


quality posts: 13 Private Messages ertolsma
caffeine_dude wrote:The company I work for uses Lotus Notes for email, among other things and Open Office for spreadsheets,documents, and power points.



My company makes us use Lotus Notes too. It's an astoundingly terrible email client.

izeonjesus


quality posts: 2 Private Messages izeonjesus

Huh?

pmcizhere


quality posts: 5 Private Messages pmcizhere

Heh, Windows is just fine. Sure, XP is dated and Vista turned into a joke...But 7 is where it's at. I use that for both work and home, and it is great. I even had it running on a netbook with 512 MB of RAM, and it ran fine with DWM enabled and running Aero. OSX is too cluttered for my tastes, though I do occasionally have to use Macs at work.

There are 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.

iSkelly87


quality posts: 0 Private Messages iSkelly87

doesn't windows already do all those thing...-_-

karst437870


quality posts: 2 Private Messages karst437870
bobthegoat2001 wrote:I'm guessing it'll be just like Linux. It'll be interesting to try it out, but if you want to get any work done (or play games) you'll need Windows.




you sound old.

They still release games for the PC? I thought that was what the Xbox was for. Or the Wii if you have younger kids in the house.


/later research shows they do still release some xbox titles on PC. who knew?

caffeine_dude


quality posts: 13 Private Messages caffeine_dude
ertolsma wrote:My company makes us use Lotus Notes too. It's an astoundingly terrible email client.



Really, I have not found anything I did not like about it, except it is pop3, but that can not be helped.

Please don't delete this post, I am trying, honest!

caffeine_dude


quality posts: 13 Private Messages caffeine_dude
ertolsma wrote:My company makes us use Lotus Notes too. It's an astoundingly terrible email client.



Really, I have not found anything I did not like about it, except it is pop3, but that can not be helped.

Please don't delete this post, I am trying, honest!

chibiturtleboi


quality posts: 0 Private Messages chibiturtleboi
chip1234 wrote:I L-O-Led for real



That would be LLOLing (Literally Laughing Out Loud) =D

My body's stupid, stereo putrid
Spilling out music into raw sewage~

johanberth


quality posts: 0 Private Messages johanberth

Haha Funny article! I haven't really found anything I like about it either. I think in the future once it works itself out, this computer could have the potential to be a very competitive rival with mac - its simple, fast, and a affordable. http://www.mindreign.com/en/mindshare/Technology/Google-e2-80-99s-Got-It/sl21528576bp317cpp10pn1.html has some interesting views on it as well...

maalper


quality posts: 0 Private Messages maalper

Windows 7...I agree it's good. But from a Software Engineer's perspective it is really more like Windows Vista with most of the problems fixed rather than a new version of Windows--except that you have to pay Microsoft again for the "upgrade."

Chrome OS...funny list!

pmcizhere wrote:Heh, Windows is just fine. Sure, XP is dated and Vista turned into a joke...But 7 is where it's at. I use that for both work and home, and it is great. I even had it running on a netbook with 512 MB of RAM, and it ran fine with DWM enabled and running Aero. OSX is too cluttered for my tastes, though I do occasionally have to use Macs at work.