Raining


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Raining

It's getting crowded around this
water cooler.

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"Who would have thought that Elmo was gay? I just never would have thought that..."

thumperchick


quality posts: 230 Private Messages thumperchick

This thread makes me wish I had an office to overhear stuff in.

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"I don't know how to do that. You just stick it in the hole?"

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"What torque will be allowed on the shaft?"

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"Time for duty back here!"

midka89


quality posts: 0 Private Messages midka89

Co-Worker:"My iPad won't work with my car stereo"

Me(IT Guy): "What kind of stereo do you have? Does it have a AUX jack? Bluetooth?"

Co-Worker: "No... just a tape player"

Me: "....."

dowehaveto


quality posts: 0 Private Messages dowehaveto

"Okay, rule number one:
When you're making a pie it's important to have a saggy butt."

Mavyn


quality posts: 22 Private Messages Mavyn

"She's texting me. 'Why are we getting sucked in to this?'"

My speech is not parsing. I am speaking in ellipsis.

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"You want me to put my finger in there?"

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"These things are just great for warming me up!"

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"You don't want to touch my thing because you're afraid there's germs on it?"

PemberDucky


quality posts: 41 Private Messages PemberDucky

Staff

PixelPants wrote:I wish woot would go back to printing on sandwiches.

-----------------------------------------------
Not sure if you should post that? This slightly-nsfw-flowchart will help.

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"Do you want me to bend it?"

AZGman


quality posts: 3 Private Messages AZGman

Man answering an incoming call on his cell phone: "Hey, are you up?"

Grumpy 'til the day I die.

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"Sue gave me long ones, but they were way too long."

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"What do you think?"

"...Not enough balls."

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"That's nice, it's big! Beautiful texture!"

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"You didn't tell me I was going to get these sores in my mouth!"

me54350


quality posts: 0 Private Messages me54350

Lady: "I've never done this before.......It's pretty hard"


spongebrain


quality posts: 0 Private Messages spongebrain

I have a robot at home and I LOVE IT!

Female wooter talking about her roomba.

Life goes on...and on...and on...

skinnermm


quality posts: 1 Private Messages skinnermm

"I'm one of those people, very specific about my business. I'm an anal entreprenuer."

i bet that domain name was registered about fifteen seconds later.

Mavyn


quality posts: 22 Private Messages Mavyn

"Oh, look! It's 12/12/12!"

My speech is not parsing. I am speaking in ellipsis.

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"Let me put some lotion on my hands and I'll go get him!"

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"You just gotta go down a little bit..."

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"We just did it again right here near my cube!"

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"Oh my gosh, this girl better not pound me!"

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"It'll be hard when she gets back. Then she'll know I was thinking about her."

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

#1: "Where do I put this?"

#2: "In here... Right here. Now name it what you want to name it. Say okay. Say okay... Now press there if you want to continue... Now close it."

#1: "Oh, my, this is hard..."

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"It's chocolate on chocolate balls!"

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"Ew, I wish I hadn't Googled that..."

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"Does this sound like a slap in the ass?"

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"I think I may have slid one in there while you weren't here..."

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"Grab some Purell and rub it all over yourself and come see me."

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"I'm a dedicated employee. Who comes in late. And chatters a lot."

KtCallista


quality posts: 32 Private Messages KtCallista

"... they're getting frozen cow patties with stuff in them. Those will be fun for the kids..."

___________________________________________________________________
Paper Napkins on the Edge of Insanity

Beware the V'owls screech!

Orcrist42


quality posts: 7 Private Messages Orcrist42

“I’m going on the Internet, to find people who agree with me"

(Which I was later told was a line out of Penny Arcade (comic), so now I am not sure if it was random or not.)

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"Four processes were moved from 'Completed' to 'Under Review' status... It's kind of a negative step forward."

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"I guess I'll just start it by hand, and then finish up with the drill."

dubsnap


quality posts: 0 Private Messages dubsnap

Co-worker #1 passes gas in the restroom while relieving his bladder into the urinal.
Co-worker #2 decided to make it a competition and ripped a louder one.
Co-worker #1 tried to have the last word and proceeded to unleash another one. He immediately ran to the nearest stall and the unmistakable sound of toilet paper quickly unraveling filled the air.