WootBot


quality posts: 14 Private Messages WootBot

Staff

In what may be the most terrifying proposal yet, Representative Toon has submitted a bill requiring Woot.com to become the single provider for health care in the US. Here are some of the likely results:

First $100
taipan - Cost Cutting
I reckon this one is gonna survive another week!


Second $50
fyrefall - Lab Results
Pretty sure that's refurb gauze.


Third $20
majit - F5
Majit doesn't realize that this is how the elevator at woot is actually labeled.


HMs -
aldarisrain - Dow Jones
Now divide the result by Pi, add the GDP for September...


TomW - I <3 woot
who knew that woot had registered blood.woot before this entry was submitted? Bueller? anybody?


Xexus - How will you pay?
What about the public option?


no1 - Pepto-Bismol in a Bucket
That's right, I got it on Bucket 'O Pepto Friday. Turns out to be much, much cheaper if you buy it in bulk.


Turken - healthcare.woot Plastic Surgery Contests
I don't understand why the winners' galleries are way behind the contests?


Monkey -
cicada - Dr. Jason "my hands are big too" Toon, Proctologist
Sadly for Jason, some things are just a myth.


Money winners, please email your Paypal info to jtoon@woot.com. Monkey Prize winner, please email your shipping address to jtoon@woot.com. As a special announcement, we are requesting that all monkey prize 'winners' stand by your mailbox until either your prize arrives- it will be in a tiny envelope, we are told, or, if two weeks pass without a prize arrival, then scream like a banshee and demand some answers! Storm the gates! Blitz the wootland! Stand in the parking lot at the Carrollton and St Louis woot offices! Honorable Mentioneers may use coupon code HONMEN-FS for free shipping on a future order. snerk. We truly wish it would work, we really do. Until next time remember: 7:49 P.M. is the latest time in the day that the time is a number followed by that number squared. Yeah, it ain't funny, but it is kind of weird. what more can we ask?

Xexus


quality posts: 6 Private Messages Xexus

Congrats everyone!

Another result posted! Yay!
It's good to see the train moving again.

Signature censored by Woot

jpamperin


quality posts: 0 Private Messages jpamperin

Oh Please, Oh Please - make the DNR shirt. I know so many people who would wear that with pride.

ActorTom


quality posts: 2 Private Messages ActorTom

Congrats winners!

fyrefall -- I loved the "results" jab!

It is good to see the results finally pouring in.

kwkelli


quality posts: 0 Private Messages kwkelli

Great job, guys. Congrats!

Turken


quality posts: 5 Private Messages Turken

woohoo! more results. and an hon-men code. works well enough for me.

let's keep this ball rollin!


TomW


quality posts: 0 Private Messages TomW

Woo hoo. An honorable mention. I am so very honored to be mentioned!

I wish I hadn't started throwing half-arsed entries in to every contest after 232...

majit


quality posts: 1 Private Messages majit

Congratulations to all winners and HMers alike. I think I remember that this was a fun contest.

Toadlet


quality posts: 8 Private Messages Toadlet
TomW wrote:I wish I hadn't started throwing half-arsed entries in to every contest after 232...



I don't know... I was surprised how much more often I won these when I put less effort into it. My next contender won't be until 234.

Congrats winners!

I appear to be melting.

1337pino


quality posts: 0 Private Messages 1337pino

Congrats to the winners and thank you, Woot, for so much progress on the contest results. This is like an early Christmas :D

snackbot


quality posts: 0 Private Messages snackbot

Huzzah for the results, and huzzah for the winners and HMs!

zilla81


quality posts: 5 Private Messages zilla81

Soooo.... any new contests in the horizon?

taipan


quality posts: 0 Private Messages taipan
zilla81 wrote:Soooo.... any new contests in the horizon?



Maybe, if you wait in the most sincere poultry farm you can find, and you REALLY believe, the grand turkey will rise up and spread prize money, new contests, and Bag-of-Çrap quality items to all the good and patient little photochop girls and boys...

mwiseman


quality posts: 0 Private Messages mwiseman
taipan wrote:Maybe, if you wait in the most sincere poultry farm you can find, and you REALLY believe, the grand turkey will rise up and spread prize money, new contests, and Bag-of-Çrap quality items to all the good and patient little photochop girls and boys...



Bah...I used to believe in the Grand Turkey™. That was until I found out it was actually Jason Toon dressed in a second-hand chicken costume, smelling of cheap wine and handing out bogus HONMEN-FS coupons out of an old ice cream truck.

bradcrc


quality posts: 11 Private Messages bradcrc

I'm less concerned about new contests than I am about getting the monkey and 1st place prize I'd already been promised.




new contests would be nice too, but they look like they're done.

mwiseman


quality posts: 0 Private Messages mwiseman

Geez, can we just go ahead and post an obit so we can divide the estate and have closure?

fyrefall


quality posts: 0 Private Messages fyrefall

zilla81


quality posts: 5 Private Messages zilla81

Ok, woot gods, it's Monday. It will be 12pm soon. I remember when I used to check woot at this time every week just to see a contest theme. Perhaps if I expect again, it will come true?

TomW


quality posts: 0 Private Messages TomW
zilla81 wrote:Ok, woot gods, it's Monday. It will be 12pm soon. I remember when I used to check woot at this time every week just to see a contest theme. Perhaps if I expect again, it will come true?



If only...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magical_thinking

ActorTom


quality posts: 2 Private Messages ActorTom
zilla81 wrote:Ok, woot gods, it's Monday. It will be 12pm soon. I remember when I used to check woot at this time every week just to see a contest theme. Perhaps if I expect again, it will come true?



It would at least be nice to see the results from the last several contests (Even though I boycotted entering, I'd still like to see the results). We all know that that judges sent their picks off to woot long ago.

FenStar


quality posts: 16 Private Messages FenStar

I've been waiting for a lot longer than a week for my monkey!

Still single, can't imagine why.

FenStar


quality posts: 16 Private Messages FenStar

I think that having a break in the photochop contests for too to catch up on paying the winners is a good idea.

Still single, can't imagine why.

Toadlet


quality posts: 8 Private Messages Toadlet

I appear to be melting.

TomW


quality posts: 0 Private Messages TomW

ActorTom


quality posts: 2 Private Messages ActorTom

It has been more than two months since the last results. Contest 233 closed over three months ago, and still no results.

AND WHAT ABOUT OUR PRIZE MONEY????????!!!!!?????

toby8915


quality posts: 0 Private Messages toby8915

But hey, at least we know how to make perfect brownies. That is as good as a new contest or contest results....right??

taipan


quality posts: 0 Private Messages taipan

I waited up all Thanksgiving night in the most sincere poultry farm in Eastern Washington, and the Grand Turkey didn't show. My big sister finally had to walk me home cold and shivering.

Even I am losing faith...

At least have the decency to let us know what your plans so we don't go on naively believing that the contests will someday resume, and prizes will someday be awarded.

I'll make it easy. Copy and paste (to save you the typing time) one of these two lines to let us all know what is coming:


"Sorry kids, there is no Santa"

OR

"Santa Claus is coming to town"


I think it's the state of limbo, brought on by the silent treatment, that really bothers many of us the most...

Xexus


quality posts: 6 Private Messages Xexus
toby8915 wrote:But hey, at least we know how to make perfect brownies. That is as good as a new contest or contest results....right??



If that's not a statement of what his priorities are I don't know what is. I'm not saying that he dictates what his own priorities are, maybe he's been told to ignore us completely.

I still have 4 honmen-fs credits to use up, and hopefully I'll see the $70 of past winnings I'm due. But they shouldn't count on me when they want people to go vote for them on some 'best of' site.

Until today, I've never signed up with any other one-a-day site, but then I thought, why am I being loyal to Woot when they've clearly turned their back on us?

Signature censored by Woot

DarthJay


quality posts: 1 Private Messages DarthJay

They've taken the "Cutler Beckett" approach to this contest thread: "It's nothing personal, it's just good business."

They've launched several new sites, so where to focus the attention - where you can MAKE money or where you can GIVE AWAY money.

Sad, but true. leaps into the vacuum for us. That's why I haven't bothered to enter any of the recent contests. What's the point.

-----------------------------------------
(to change to a non-Woot avatar - go to https://account.woot.com and click on the "add connection" link in the top right corner of the connections box. Once you've linked to the other accounts, you can use that avatar)

TomW


quality posts: 0 Private Messages TomW

If they don't want to do the contests any more, then that's fine. It's their decision. I can find other outlets for my crappy photoshopping.

I do think that they need to wrap things up cleanly, however. That means posting the rest of the results and paying out the last of the prizes (full disclosure: I am waiting on a first place prize).

Leaving loose threads is not good business, IMNSHO. Things need to be tied up in a neat little bow; either have us killed or deal with the unfinished results and prizes.

Then they can wash their hands of the whole sordid affair and we can go on to complain about something else on the Internet. Unless they decided to have us killed, in which case we can get on with haunting people.

wonderstew


quality posts: 0 Private Messages wonderstew

I don't think they've thrown in the towel. Just give it until after the first of the year when things settle a bit.

Shaving.

TomW


quality posts: 0 Private Messages TomW
wonderstew wrote:I don't think they've thrown in the towel. Just give it until after the first of the year when things settle a bit.



I don't know. I have this gift certificate for a bunch of Ninja assassins that I have to use by December 31st. I was going to sic them on woot.

Maybe I can think of somebody else who needs a swift dose of Ninja justice. Gary Busey is always good for it, I suppose.

bentracy


quality posts: 0 Private Messages bentracy
TomW wrote:I don't know. I have this gift certificate for a bunch of Ninja assassins that I have to use by December 31st. I was going to sic them on woot.

Maybe I can think of somebody else who needs a swift dose of Ninja justice. Gary Busey is always good for it, I suppose.







I am pretty sure a ninja assassin would end the life of Gary Busey. I am also sure Woot would destroy a ninja assassin in a fist fight. Using the rock-paper-scissors theory Woot better watch their back or Gary Busey will come after them (most likely in thier sleep).

-bent

McGuffy


quality posts: 7 Private Messages McGuffy

So, like, um, there have been no contests graded since Halloween? Fo'rizzle? What was in that candy Josephus?

"There are 2 types of people in the world: Those can extrapolate from incomplete data."

ActorTom


quality posts: 2 Private Messages ActorTom
McGuffy wrote:So, like, um, there have been no contests graded since Halloween? Fo'rizzle? What was in that candy Josephus?



Don't blame the judges, BLAME TOON!

Class-action lawsuit anyone????

McGuffy


quality posts: 7 Private Messages McGuffy
ActorTom wrote:Don't blame the judges, BLAME TOON!

Class-action lawsuit anyone????



Seems to me that if you don't score the contests AND you don't pay your winners, the motivation to enter begins to dwindle just a bit...

"There are 2 types of people in the world: Those can extrapolate from incomplete data."

mwiseman


quality posts: 0 Private Messages mwiseman
McGuffy wrote:Seems to me that if you don't score the contests AND you don't pay your winners, the motivation to enter begins to dwindle just a bit...



Yeah, I can see it now...pretty soon the derby results won't show up for a week or so and when they do, the winners will receive free shipping coupons that don't work.

Nah, I'm sure that'll never happen.

Turken


quality posts: 5 Private Messages Turken
mwiseman wrote:Yeah, I can see it now...pretty soon the derby results won't show up for a week or so and when they do, the winners will receive free shipping coupons that don't work.

Nah, I'm sure that'll never happen.



Speaking of non-functional coupon codes, I'm thinking that maybe everyone should start emailing service@woot every time they make a woot purchase and try to claim the HM codes for the yet-to-be-judged contests. Maybe creating an excessive amount of extra work (if you can call it work having to spend thirty seconds pulling up a contest thread to verify a winner) for some other woot employees would generate enough internal pressure to unblock the bowels of the contest judging beast.

At least it will result in somebody at woot looking at the threads and noticing that they lack any sort of results. And hey, if the service folks are too lazy to look at the contest threads for verification, then we still win with some free free shipping!


Toadlet


quality posts: 8 Private Messages Toadlet
Turken wrote:...try to claim the HM codes for the yet-to-be-judged contests.


No way, I got first place for all of those!

I appear to be melting.