Jason Toon


quality posts: 19 Private Messages Jason Toon

They were the melodies that announced that cartoon funtime was here, that it was time again to surrender to the animated haze. In our Pavlovian raptures, us kids didn't notice that a lot of those songs were pretty lousy. Presenting part one of a three-part exploration we're calling Saturday Morning Nightmare: The Worst Theme Songs In Cartoon History.

Gummi Bears
Nobody could have predicted that this half-hour candy commercial would give birth to an entirely new musical genre: synth-filk.

The Karate Kid
From the opening flute flourishes, we know we're on a musical journey to the mysterious Orient. True to form, the rest of the music sounds like a bad Vietnamese karaoke backing track. In a nod to ascetic Asian minimalism, the only lyrics are "Karate Kid". It's a musical Zen koan of crap.

Tom and Jerry Kids
This isn't the only cartoon theme that brings overheated, soulless, sub-Speedwagon rock. (You'll be hearing plenty more of those in the next few days.) But it might be the only one that soils the legacy of two truly iconic characters in the process. WARNING: sax solo ahead.

Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kids
In the world of Hanna-Barbera, it's always hard to tell if the concept sucks, or just the execution. I say, why choose? When your basic idea is "Butch Cassidy as globetrotting rock star detective with a wacky mutt sidekick", an hour spent writing the theme song is 55 minutes too many.

The Super Mario Bros. Super Show
Speaking of new genres, here comes the "Blitzkrieg Bop" of nerdcore. Bonus ironic racial commentary: "The Brothers! The Brothers! The Brothers!"

The New Shmoo
Maybe this song's abrupt shifts in rhythm and mood are supposed to reflect the protean nature of the Shmoo himself. Then again, maybe the music is just as half-assed and thrown-together as lyrics like "He's gonna please you / This incredible new Shmoo likes you."

Jayce & The Wheeled Warriors
Here's more of that wailing generic '80s rock I promised you. This groin-straining FM anthem makes Loverboy sound like Nirvana. Sing us out, Jayce!

Tune in tomorrow for more Saturday Morning Nightmare: The Worst Theme Songs In Cartoon History. We dare you.

Assembled with help from Scott Lydon, Jason Hinklin-Lauderdale, Randy Cleveland, and Josh Boelter.

qsopht


quality posts: 3 Private Messages qsopht

loved the gummi bears song

dnm1123


quality posts: 0 Private Messages dnm1123

So glad Kidd Video didn't make the first cut - That theme song ROCKED! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GBQS1cgsEdU

tgentry


quality posts: 111 Private Messages tgentry

Staff

There was a Karate Kid cartoon? And he traveled through time?... Wow, where was I when this was happening?

Check out the Snorks theme song. Also a major dud.

wiljefv


quality posts: 0 Private Messages wiljefv

First the GB song and then Super Mario Bros Super Show? Perhaps you meant best theme songs in cartoon history. RIP Captain Lou!

rabbitfish


quality posts: 0 Private Messages rabbitfish

Why does that theme song give me flashbacks? Whooooaa.

rabbitfish <"><

donnemo


quality posts: 0 Private Messages donnemo

Whatcha talkin' 'bout, Willis? The Gummi Bears theme is awesome.

sgoman5674


quality posts: 41 Private Messages sgoman5674

My favorite show to watch was the Gummi Bears!!!! Worst theme song, BAH!

AliCat713


quality posts: 1 Private Messages AliCat713
qsopht wrote: loved the gummi bears song



Ditto! They had high adventures that were beyond compare, man!

raebee


quality posts: 21 Private Messages raebee
wiljefv wrote:First the GB song and then Super Mario Bros Super Show? Perhaps you meant best theme songs in cartoon history. RIP Captain Lou!



Yeah I'm totally hooked on the brothers!


Where do you find a Roomba? At the Innba!

jmart251


quality posts: 1 Private Messages jmart251

wow. not knowing 80% of those, I'm really happy that I don't have those hideous-sounding songs running through my head right now.

pooflady


quality posts: 20 Private Messages pooflady

Mighty Mouse had a terrific theme song.



When I was a kid I wanted to be older, this CRAP is NOT what I expected.

LuminousSpecter


quality posts: 1 Private Messages LuminousSpecter

Proof positive that the gummi bears theme song was not one of the "worst ever" theme songs: I have an a cappella version of the song!

It's a brilliant song, and the response here shows that Woot! may just be out of touch with this part of life.

IndependentVik


quality posts: 11 Private Messages IndependentVik
tgentry wrote:There was a Karate Kid cartoon? And he traveled through time?...



I think I was about seven when that came out. I watched it eagerly every Saturday morning for the one (maybe two?) years it actually existed.

While the theme music is indeed terrible, the animation is actually much higher quality than I would've expected (not that it's amazing--it just surprises me that it's not terrible).

Toadlet


quality posts: 8 Private Messages Toadlet
IndependentVik wrote:the animation is actually much higher quality than I would've expected (not that it's amazing--it just surprises me that it's not terrible).


I knew I recognized the animation style. I thought it looked a lot like Captain Planet. A little Wikipedia later - same animation company (DIC).

I appear to be melting.

shrdlu


quality posts: 4 Private Messages shrdlu
pooflady wrote:Mighty Mouse had a terrific theme song.



O M G! I loved Mighty Mouse.

"Here I come to save the day! That means that Mighty Mouse is on the way."

I could do the whole thing (but there's a woot off going on)...

[dammit. I replied, instead of editing]

It takes months to find a customer, but only seconds to lose one.
The good news is that we should run out of them in no time.

http://demotivators.despair.com/demotivational/disservicedemotivator.jpg

BettyDoherty


quality posts: 0 Private Messages BettyDoherty

What no Barney? Who is gonna love me with out Barney?

animalcracker


quality posts: 2 Private Messages animalcracker

oh come on!! No Fraggle Rock or Muppet Babies!! l the Jim Hensen Muppet related cartoons had annoyingly catchy songs!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSDeoO-j3G0&NR
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwaddpsKdKg&feature=related

Un0fficial


quality posts: 17 Private Messages Un0fficial

Gummi Bears and the Mario bros.


Ahhh, those were the days.

Waking up at the ass crack of down on saturday mornings, running to the TV, and watched the Cartoons. Not a care in the world. Ahhh, I miss those days.


Intrepid Wooter
58 total woots including (Not all listed)
12/1/2010, 4/1/2011, 7/12/2011, 9/14/2011, 12/6/2011, 12/25/2011, 3/22/2012, 4/24/2012, 5/22/2012, 6/26/2012, 7/12/2012(5x), 8/21/2013, 12/3/2013, 1/15/2014, 4/22/2014, 6/2/2014 Bags of Crap


tcanning


quality posts: 6 Private Messages tcanning

"We're the E,E,E,Ewoks."

JGarrido


quality posts: 0 Private Messages JGarrido

I think the GummiBears is the only of those I ever might have actually watched, so those may be poor examples.

Amauriel


quality posts: 2 Private Messages Amauriel
LuminousSpecter wrote:Proof positive that the gummi bears theme song was not one of the "worst ever" theme songs: I have an a cappella version of the song!

It's a brilliant song, and the response here shows that Woot! may just be out of touch with this part of life.



I not only have the A Capella version of the Gummi Bears song, my roommate once borrowed it from me to play on the college radio station when she filled in for the DJ. So I know for a fact that it once got air time.

fortyseven


quality posts: 0 Private Messages fortyseven

The Jayce & the Wheeled Warriors theme is amazingly good.

bbryanblr


quality posts: 0 Private Messages bbryanblr

Well I have to say.... the major one left off the list was Rubik, the Amazing Cube. BAM! pulled that one out huh?!?!?

Dont believe me... here is the Pudding.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYs_GCy9PRk

In my book, this may be tied though with the Menudo cartoon... but who doesn't like Menudo!?!?!

keving88


quality posts: 0 Private Messages keving88

You guys left out the best worst Sat. Morning theme song..."Godzilla (and Godzuki)!!!!!

md1088


quality posts: 6 Private Messages md1088

I think the Shmoo theme is oddly catchy. I've listened to it several times now.... haha

spongebobrl1105


quality posts: 0 Private Messages spongebobrl1105

Is it bad that as I go through and read the list, I sit in my office, by myself, and start singing these theme songs without even clicking on the video?
Gummi bears rule.

LuminousSpecter


quality posts: 1 Private Messages LuminousSpecter
Amauriel wrote:I not only have the A Capella version of the Gummi Bears song, my roommate once borrowed it from me to play on the college radio station when she filled in for the DJ. So I know for a fact that it once got air time.



That is the coolest thing I've ever heard! Awesome!

BatesAvenue


quality posts: 0 Private Messages BatesAvenue

I think I'm with a lot of people when I say "how dare you add Gummi Bears to this list" What's next!?! Duck Tales? Tale Spin?

kidjersey78


quality posts: 1 Private Messages kidjersey78

Although not a cartoon, without a doubt the worst kids show theme song ever has to be Hip-Hop Harry.