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I think that was a Russian rocket!

By now you've probably heard of the mysterious spiral light show over Norway this morning. It was captured on video by dozens of people and seen across a huge swath of Northern Norway. Well I've examined the videos available and I have to say this looks to be some sort of misfired Russian rocket.

Something seen in the sky across such a large area would have to be at a tremendous altitude. Almost as high, say, as a satellite launch or test run for a missile or rocket of some kind. Also, the blue spiral appears to be a matter of perspective, as a rocket twisting around would appear to make tight spirals while far away and larger ones as it got closer. Now the white spiral pinwheeling in the sky could only occur if the object was moving more or less perpendicular to the observer (i.e. coming right for you), which would account for the illusion of a stationary spin. Whatever is being dumped from this rocket, be it exhaust, fuel, horrible chemical weapons, etc. is simply escaping in a straight line while the center rotates.

Now Norwegians aren't known for very many rocket tests, as they tend to spend a lot of military efforts on infantry trained to defend the fjords. Their space program is also pretty relaxed and, if it was launching something, probably would've had an announcement of some kind.

Really the only country nearby with this kind of technology and a motivation to be testing high-altitude rockets is Russia. What they're planning, and what we may have accidentally had revealed to us, we may not know until it's too late.

Sincerely,

Gary Baxter
Amateur Astronomer




Hey, that definitely was not a Russian rocket!

Hello my good friends,

I am writing to you from Zvyozdny gorodok at a…uh, training facility. For…science. Yes. Anyway, I was logging on to my ROL account to check my email when one of the newsgroups I subscribe to posted a story about some lights in Norway.

Totally weird, man!

Some crazy people are suggesting, get this, that WE did it! Crazy, right? I mean look at that video. We don't have anything that cool, believe me! Nope, we're still all "rolling iron" and rusted tanks and sunk submarines. Nothing to see here. This? This looks like aliens, to me. Yeah. Aliens.

Think about it. What reason do we have to test high-altitude intercontinental ballistic missiles? What? I didn't say ICBM, you said it. Are you sure? I'm pretty sure you said it first because otherwise I would have no reason to even bring up such a funny word!

Plus, who would we even want to shoot with this thing? America? Come on, we've been pals ever since you guys won that war of attrition and our economy collapsed. What? Are we gonna join forces with China and try to jumpstart a neo-Communist worldwide revolution by taking down a severely overextended superpower? Like we'd even think of that sort of thing!

Just wanted to let you guys know it totally wasn't us. Just to show we're on the same team, we've dispatched a covert Special Forces unit into Northern Norway to retrieve any pieces that might have fallen off the missi-…space ship.

Yours,

Vladimir Putin
 

PS
Everyone in Norway should turn off their video cameras and not look up tomorrow night.