Sure, Las Vegas is the land of Elvis impersonators, but there are plenty of OTHER impersonator shows to be seen, too. Some people like to see Cher impersonators, but usually only when the impersonator is a man, for some reason. Michael Jackson's another big one right now. Stevie Wonder is usually a fave. Then there's this revue, "the longest-running tribute show in entertainment history"...

Okay, I assume the dude on the left is maybe Justin Timberlake or some similar boy-band guy I might not know, so I'm willing to let it go. Young women and gay men might flock to that. But who the hell is next? It kind of looks like a "What If…?" version of Kirsten Dunst if she has a really rough 15 years in the future. We've seriously been debating who this could be. Well, someone guessed "Carly Simon" so it hasn't been COMPLETELY serious.
Anyway, you've obviously got the big E smack in the middle. No question. He's the standard. Then there's Madonna. Bit of a reach, I think, but she's got an enormous song catalog and a frantic gay following so I can see that show making some money. And of course then there's-
Wait.
That can't be right.
Jay Leno?
Tell me it's just a really REALLY bad Bill Clinton impersonator. Who in their right mind would pay money to see some guy PRETEND to be an unfunny shill like Jay Leno? If you wave $5 out your window the REAL Jay Leno will probably show up at your house and wind up staying for days. How horrible is this man's life as he works Vegas clubs pretending to be a freak-chinned moron with a penchant for comedy just on the stale side of the Greatest Generation?
I imagine every night there's a knock on his dressing room door that startles him into pulling the revolver out of his mouth.
Anyway, if you all have any idea who our mystery lady is, please clue us in. And don't say "Carly Simon".