WootBot


quality posts: 15 Private Messages WootBot

Staff

  • Sprawling Panasonic booth partially converted into hotel for transients
  • This year's hottest gadgets: anything with gold components
  • Giveaway USB sticks replaced by actual sticks
  • Booth babes no longer paid in cash, but are now permitted to sell apples and take in laundry
  • VIP luncheons catered by the Salvation Army
  • Las Vegas Convention Center replaces central heating with barrels full of burning HP laptop batteries
  • Monster Cable presents VIP-only performance by the bass player from Sugar Ray
  • Shuttle buses replaced by bicycle rickshaws
  • John Bunnell will tase himself to get those free hats back
  • Naming-rights deal means Las Vegas is now known as Little Shenzhen
  • Hall of Innovation moved to burned-out house in Detroit
  • Leave a business card at the LG booth for a free malaria vaccination
  • Rolling blackouts due to theft of copper wire by attendees
  • Instead of plying buyers with cocaine at lavish after-hours parties, company reps now offer a paper bag full of spray paint in the parking lot
  • Most booths now staffed remotely from Bangalore
  • Steve Ballmer replaced at keynote by homeless man who says nothing but "Bing" for two hours
  • If 3D HDTV sales do not meet expectations, Samsung threatens to launch a worldwide wave of suicide bombings
  • Hoover booth replaced by Hooverville
  • First visitor to Microsoft booth gets a free Windows 7 phone. And so does every other visitor
  • This year's slogan: "CES: Now In 3D!"

 

badorangecat


quality posts: 1 Private Messages badorangecat

"Steve Ballmer replaced at keynote by homeless man who says nothing but 'Bing' for two hours"

Dude, that was Steve Ballmer.

Sometimes a box of cigars is just a box of cigars.

Gatzby


quality posts: 43 Private Messages Gatzby
badorangecat wrote:"Steve Ballmer replaced at keynote by homeless man who says nothing but 'Bing' for two hours"

Dude, that was Steve Ballmer.



Right idea, wrong word.

Did you know shirt.woot ships internationally? Get you some!
Why do my posts always get deleted? -- Noise Reduction -- Try it in podcast format.
No, you can't have our iPod, keys, or Lego. Sorry.

archshrk


quality posts: 7 Private Messages archshrk

It'd probably be an improvement if it was Ted Williams

Visit archshrk.com. You know you want to.

hayesjc


quality posts: 3 Private Messages hayesjc

If you are in Las Vegas for more than 24 hours, a Kardashian is bound to show up, so look alive, Wooters! At least one of them is looking for a cast member in the revolving door of this week's significant other.

tgentry


quality posts: 111 Private Messages tgentry

Staff

badorangecat wrote:"Steve Ballmer replaced at keynote by homeless man who says nothing but 'Bing' for two hours"

Dude, that was Steve Ballmer.



I never understood how anyone would allow that guy to become the public face (and sweat stains) of a big name global company like Microsoft.