no way to beat the game when obstacles are in both lanes. Not sure what 15 year old kid programed this but it's 4am here and I'm going to bed.

this is TERRIBLE. waste of my life.

how in sam hill are u supposed to dodge the undodgeable.

Yea i have to admit this is pretty Sirius GPP. Get to level 4 and right at the end 2 obstacles in both paths. Do you want to annoy everyone?

Just got past level 4 when there was still level 3 bags. Still wasn't able to buy either Big o' Cosmos, I'm done.

efooter wrote:*sobs*
Worst part of this game is its pure luck... if two obstacles don't spawn through a level, you're clear to go through.

Yeah... [insert expletives here]

THE POINT IS YOU CAN'T WIN NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO. APRIL FOOLS JOKERS.

senorroboto wrote:Anyone else getting random spots where you can't get by because there's something in each lane? Is that Woot's wicked point?

YES! What the hell!?

BOO! the game wont even work for me... stuck on some loading screen.

All it takes is a little patience .... and lots of times clicking the play again button :P

That was just mean woot. So I definitely got in on level 2 and entered my security code and told you this information is correct and everything only to have your server crash on me. And so then the game wouldn't load. For hours. And btw if you make a game and try to have it reward persistence make winning at it due to something other than complete random chance. I can't even count the amount of times I got to level 3 only to encounter the same situation where there would be a stationary rainbow or raincloud in one lane and then my old friend the flying monkey on a pterodactyl comes in the other lane only to perfectly coincide timing wise so that it would leave absolutely no way to get past it without throwing myself into the raincloud/bow and losing. You have successfully made this the crappiest April Fools Day ever. "Congratulations." At the end I just quit delivering the craps and just went into zombie mode to play one handed just dodging the Battlefield Earth (2000) and not giving anyone their crap. Was that the point? To teach us all how awful of a job it is to deliver this crap to the point that you just become a zombie and go through the motions without really accomplishing anything. Do you hate your jobs that much?

END RANT

On the bright side hooray on my second ever Big o' Cosmos after four years.

...this is crap... how can u win when every time both lanes are blocked at one point or another...

Finally grabbed one, as I failed out at level 6 or the 2nd level 2 or some such.

Sorry it's part of the game, sometimes you get screwed, stop crying and play again.
It's a very simple game, everyone would beat level 10 if this didn't happen right?

Woo hoo! Completed Level 4 and got my first-ever Big Orphaned Cetacea! I'm stoked!

Every time I play, there's an impossible obstacle with enemies in both the high and low. I guess that is the point of the April Fool;s

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT ITTTT!!!!!

After I passed level 4 I just ran into the first guy I saw, who knows if it woulda gone to level 5 before I beat level 5, and then if I'd died...? Oh man.

This is my first Bubotuber of Curmudgeon and I have to say, I'm happy that it's a purchase I had to earn instead of just being fast on the draw.

I made it to level 5, but I can't order... what gives?

I know it April Fool's, but given the history of Big Orphaned Cetacea, posting an un-winnable game is just horrible. I really loved woot, but that large % of my paycheck is moving on, warp you woot.

that game is a big Big Orphaned Cetacea.

So what does beat level 4 mean? Perhaps played it to much and won't give you a chance until level 5? (which I beat) or really is it set up to be random?

This is by far the worst idea WOOT has ever had!
It is great and all to stop the cheaters, but 3 hours later and I can't beat an Atari game? This reminds me of mailman game I can't remember what it was called.

Got mine at level 4!

That music is forever in your brain.

After playing this multiple times, I've noticed 2 things.

1) Level 3 is the hardest. The cosmos one after that is cake, and hardly ever sends double obstacles.

2) Concentrate on your multiplier. It seemed to me like the higher your score/multiplier, the less likely obstacles were to spawn. Both times I beat level 3 I had a multiplier in the high teens or twenties.

Anyway if you do make it past level 3, keep going as long as you can. Never know if the requirement level will go up by 1 while you're playing.

Best of luck (and it is just that, luck) to everyone!

probably the dumbest thing i've ever heard of...way to go backwards woot

i got to lvl 1 2 3 4 5 and didnt get a link because the link was broken !!!!!!!

And again!

This is the worst game ever.

Due to server errors, I made it to level four twice when they were on level three, but got nothing. Then, when the server improved just now, made it to level four, only to discover they had JUST made it to level four, just barely missing it. And yet, I persevered, playing again, made it just now to level four, was about to reach the end of the level, and then, the color changed, it said I was on level one, and I freaked out. But when I died, it said I died on level six, and rewarded me with my SEVENTH Bundle of Crushed dreams! I would have been very angry at the Woot gods, after winning twice and getting nothing, but instead, I lost another hour of sleep, and got what I wanted anyway.

crambo wrote:Patience, or obsessive badgering?

yes. ;)

Double blocked a good deal into level 4. Thanks woot. When it has randomly generated fatal flaws, it doesn't matter how good a game looks.

This is what happens when small private companies get bought out by evil empires. They make you jump through hoops. They play games with you that you will never win. Making you feel bitter and empty inside.

I had gotton it on the correct level when the servers died. what a load crap or a Big Orphaned Cetacea! seriously though this is woots worst idea yet.

Sadness, I too reached the "you won the priviledge of buying a Big o' Cosmos" page and got denied at level 3. Now I keep getting killed by the moving enemy + obstacle combo. :-(

Piss poor programming makes me a sad panda
I get that it is meant to beat bots, but it shouldn't beat real people too because it just decided 'lol u lose now'

All I've got to say is "I EARNED THIS ONE!!!" (Several hours later)

Well, got mine somehow, after a year and a half living carp-free. SO MANY MONKEYS.

Score: 63849

Max bonus: 13x

To everyone else, just keep trying! It takes a lot of patience, and a lot of dying from frustrating combinations of enemies. Good luck!

Well, this is the stupidist thing they have come up with yet. Is this what the brain trust at Amazon have done to Woot? You can no longer just buy a Big Orphaned Cetacea, you have to play a Jatravartid game? Blahhhh..

We, the Hitchhikers. Made it to level 5 and "oops, you need to beat 4." Grr...

what a bunch of crabs. Your server fails when I passed it before 3 times before...and now your l.ame game keeps throwing me impossible rounds to beat...and I was on x21 too I'm really disappointed in this one, woot admins.

zaventh wrote:Yeah... [insert expletives here]

THE POINT IS YOU CAN'T WIN NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO. APRIL FOOLS JOKERS.

actually, you can, hence why it's on level 4 now...remember to breathe