WootBot


quality posts: 15 Private Messages WootBot

Staff

It's a tough game, internet copywriting. You've got to generate content that's scintillating, or at the very least divisive, so that people will comment on it, tell their friends about it, and thereby lure more people to your site. Which is why we love sites like Reddit, where users can post OUR stuff that they find interesting or funny or just stupid, and drive more traffic our way (the traffic spreadsheets helpfully omit the percentage of people stopping by just to tell us we suck). There's a trick to finding just the right message to strike the chords of the message board just right so it's shared, upvoted, and goes viral enough that you start to attract internet hipsters saying they're sick of it three hours after it first went up. Some would call it pandering; we prefer to think of it as targeting the demographic. With pandering.

But when something terrible happens and Reddit goes down, we're faced with a conundrum. If we post our content and it's super awesome, no one's going to know about it because they can't share it. So until those poor guys and gals can log back in and start sharing our stuff again, we're withholding any and all blog posts. But just so you know what's coming down the pipes, here's a glimpse at our editorial calendar:

  • Super Amazing Science Discoveries That Aren't Necessarily Proven Yet
  • AMAZING Video Shows the TRUTH About Saudi Royal Family and Duke Nukem
  • The Celebrity We Hate Today [They Said Something Dumb or Insensitive]
  • Exactly How Overrated IS Firefly?
  • Did Rebecca Black Know About 9/11 in Advance?
  • What the Hell is Wrong with Those Mens' Rights Activists?
  • What the Hell is Wrong with Those Feminist Activists?
  • Re-Posting and Why It Ruins Everything
  • Photo Gallery: Olivia Munn Eats One of Those Spider-Man Ice-Cream-On-a-Stick Things
  • Documented Proof That Puts All Doubt to Rest Regarding the End of Inception
  • Picture of a Cute Owl Standing on a Cute Puppy Licking a Cute Kitten
  • Why Everywhere Else on Earth is Better than America
  • Knee-Jerk Reactions to Quotes Taken Out of Context
  • DAE Think Digg Sucks?
  • Game of Thrones Should Be Cancelled and Here's Why


Look for these posts coming soon to this very blog! Just as soon as we can get people to link to them somewhere else.

 

DennisG2010


quality posts: 20 Private Messages DennisG2010

I await the Olivia Munn gallery with bated breasts.
Breath! Breath, I meant breath.

HawthornThistleberry


quality posts: 0 Private Messages HawthornThistleberry

...there's still doubt about the end of Inception? People didn't look at the kid's clothing yet?

mikebbass


quality posts: 24 Private Messages mikebbass

Clearly Reddit was taken down by The Rand Corporation, in conjunction with the saucer people under the supervision of the reverse vampires.

Lets have a Woot-Off!....GO!

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  • Bags Of Crap
    1. 10,000 Craps Under the Sea 11/29/2014
    2. The Bag of Shirt Crap 7/11/2014
    3. Bag of Coal 7/11/2014
    4. (Hand)Bag of Coal 3/23/2014
    5. 2nd Day of Crapness 12/4/13
    6. 45 Down Crossword 4/23/13
    7. FCWCECKMFONPTDMIPWAACBFMIGWS 9/18/12
    8. good-old-golden-crap-days 8/13/12
    9. we-eight-the-crap 7/12/12
    10. in-your-crapday-suit 7/12/12
    11. feliz-crapleanos 7/12/12
    12. who-smell-just-like-you 7/12/12
    13. not-exactly-a-goodie-bag 7/12/12
    14. Barrel of Crops 05/22/12
    15. Barrel of Crops 04/25/12
    16. Bag of Coal 03/22/12
    17. Bag of Coal 01/19/12
    18. Santa's Sack of Crap 12/25/11
    19. Bag of Coal 12/06/11
    20. Bag of Coal 11/09/11
    21. Bag of Coal 07/12/11
    22. Bag of Coal 06/15/11
    23. Random Crap 09/22/10
    24. Random Crap 08/20/10
    25. Random Crap 04/14/10
    26. Random Crap 01/28/10
    27. Random Crap 09/24/08
    28. Random Crap 04/01/08

    RevLoki


    quality posts: 2 Private Messages RevLoki

    I can't post this to r/f7u12 so I'm posting it here..

    I require karma.

    dave bug


    quality posts: 14 Private Messages dave bug

    You missed the last step!

    wizpig64


    quality posts: 5 Private Messages wizpig64

    You guys can't use your influence at Amazon to make their web services stop sucking?

    #!

    magoh


    quality posts: 2 Private Messages magoh
    wizpig64 wrote:You guys can't use your influence at Amazon to make their web services stop sucking?



    I tried to upvote you but couldn't find the arrow.

    llandar


    quality posts: 32 Private Messages llandar
    wizpig64 wrote:You guys can't use your influence at Amazon to make their web services stop sucking?



    We can't use our influence to make our own web services stop sucking.

    RevLoki


    quality posts: 2 Private Messages RevLoki

    Dave bug just made my day.

    ursubaloo


    quality posts: 0 Private Messages ursubaloo

    Well now I know what to do next time Reddit goes down: hang out at woot.

    k3lit0


    quality posts: 2 Private Messages k3lit0

    My bf is currently working at an Amazon Data Centre trying to fix whatever got broken. They made him(and all the rest of the guys) stay like 15 hours and sent them to a hotel for 4 hours of sleep, then it's back to work.

    So... that's nice.

    equilibrate


    quality posts: 0 Private Messages equilibrate
    k3lit0 wrote:My bf is currently working at an Amazon Data Centre trying to fix whatever got broken. They made him(and all the rest of the guys) stay like 15 hours and sent them to a hotel for 4 hours of sleep, then it's back to work.

    So... that's nice.



    That's a rough working day for sure...


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