You've had a good portion of the enchilada, but today you get the whole! Week five of the Woot Monkey Games wrapped up four straight weeks of games, with six teams competing during their lunch breaks to see which department would emerge as the grand champion. Who took the honor of being the very first winner of the Monkey Games Cup?
You'll find the answer and the whole recap inside. But first, here's the names of our winners from the Non-Alcoholic pong event:
1st: FerrisBueller
2nd: Okiedukie
3rd: Nilocc225
Well done to the medal winners! Email your details (name, address, and shirt size) to commissioner@woot.com and they'll get your prize package sorted out. And for all you non-medal participants, we're still impressed. It took great courage to make those videos, and we won't forget how you sacrificed your dignity for the amusement of others. In our non-legally binding heart, you're all winners! It is to you we dedicate these final games, this final week of... The 2011 Woot Monkey Games!
The Woot Monkey Games were designed to be a fun way to help our employees enjoy the scorching month of August, and so far, response has been huge. Every department has gotten involved in the attempt to win glory for the team and a gold-painted Sansa medal for themselves.
Week Five closed the games with a final push for individual and team medals. Victors displayed the painted Sansas above their desks while others prepared themselves in a final chance to score. Pushing through the horrible Texas heat, our staffletes were using up the last of their reserves, and made a go for the limit on the other side of the horizon made from the inner light in a tiger's eye. If we'd been awarding marbles, these last events would be for all of them. Who was up to the challenge?
DAY EIGHTEEN: THIS BLOWS
Athletes had a balloon and a few deep breaths. Each participant had to fill their own balloon, then knock off all the cups as quickly as possible. The gold medal went to the athlete with the very best overall time.
After the games last week, this event proved to be a breath of fresh air. It was also another chance for Ware-A-Shirt to move forward a little. Could it be they just wanted it more? Or was the constant competition starting to wear down the other contestants?
DAY EIGHTEEN WINNERS:
1st: Dan Reyna (Ware-A-Shirt)
2nd: Keegan Carson (The Zookeepers)
3rd: Thomas Miller (The Scarlet Sansas)
TEAM EVENT: B.O.C. RACE
Much like a standard potato-sack competition. the B.O.C Race required cooperation and rhythm. Contestants had to jump quickly across the field and back, and the first team to reach the finish was declared the winner.
Despite the 104 degree heat, employees lined up to support their teams. Those athletes who'd mastered the art of working in smaller groups did well, while those "lone wolf" types found the event more challenging. Who says our games aren't teaching management skills?

TEAM EVENT WINNERS:
1st: Money Talks
2nd: The Assets
3rd: Scarlet Sansas
DAY NINETEEN: BUCKY BALLS
A chance to explore the gentler side of our athletes, the Bucky Ball competition was no less demanding. Contestants had a limited time period to design a build a Bucky Ball sculpture, to be judged on creativity, style and beauty.
Although seemingly easy, remember: each athlete was working with a series of magnets powerful enough to rip through pig intestine, so the danger was real. Or maybe the threat allowed our contestants the creative freedom an event like this demands?
DAY NINETEEN WINNERS:
1st: Jamie Friedman (Money Talks)
2nd: Dan Reyna (Ware-A-Shirt)
3rd: Travis Moneta (The Assets)
DAY TWENTY: THE DUNK TANK
August 31st. The final event. Staffletes began sneaking out of work early to warm up the ol' throwin' arm, because this event offered a once in a lifetime chance.
Athletes stood behind cones and threw softballs at a big red circle. Department heads took turns sitting on the dunk tank seat. A point was awarded every time a boss got dunked, unless someone cheated. And let's be honest, a chance to drop your boss into a tub of water? There was a LOT of cheating.
Of course, some department heads were a little more serious than others. Buyer John W. brought a tablet computer with him, just to see if it was waterproof (hint: it wasn't) and even the Creative department got into the act.
That's our very own Jason Toon, winding up to throw the softball at CEO Matt Rutledge. And here's the not safe for the squeamish result of Matt's dunk. On the plus side, now he can honestly say he's put his blood and tears into this company. On the down side, poor Jason felt so guilty.
- BUT WAIT -
Remember how we mentioned the cheating? Well, we had cameras at the ready, and check out what we discovered during the video playback.
She almost got away with it! Sorry you got the blame at first, Toon. Innocent of all charges, and your sentence is stricken from the record.
With the exception of poor Matt, all dunkees were treated kindly, and received a monogrammed towel to help them recover from their dive. Final score was determined by number of dunks minus the number of times someone cheated, leaving The Assets in first place with FOUR dunks total. Watch our jobs page as their positions to begin open up later next week.
DAY TWENTY WINNERS:
1st: The Assets
2nd (tie): The Leakfrogs
2nd (tie): Ware-A-Shirt
CLOSING CEREMONIES
Oohs and ahhhs met the arrival of the Monkey Cup. The same oohs and ahhs that met the arrival of the ice cream truck a few moments before. Let's face it, our staff is pretty easily amused as long as it gets them out of the office for a bit.
After everyone got a snack, the final medal count was announced. Seattle's Space Needles came in last, with a single Bronze medal and one total point. Next was a tie between once-favorited The Leakfrogs (thirteen medals and twenty three points) and the dual-departmented Ware-A-Shirt (nine medals and twenty three points). Fourth place belonged to The Scarlet Sansas with twenty eight points and thirteen medals, leaving the final three teams to divide the Gold, Silver and Bronze.
FINAL STANDINGS
1st: The Assets 43 points, 14 medals
2nd: Money Talks 41 points, 16 medals
3rd: The Zookeepers 32 points, 15 medals
Congratulations to The Assets, our 2011 Woot Monkey Games Team Gold Medal Winner! You all did us proud out there. But don't get too cocky, because those other teams have a whole year to practice...
The Woot Monkey Games ran every weekday through all of August and were amazingly fun. Thanks to everyone who participated, especially those who competed at home to win their very own limited edition Woot Games Monkey. And watch for our wrap-up Woot Games podcast, coming soon!