Every day, sometimes multiple times, I check my account to see the status on my beaches of crabs. I check MyFedex to see if my basket of chickens has progressed to being "prepared" for shipment. I imagine this process to be one of religious proportions, a priest of Woot singing the hymn, Blessing of Crap, over my individual box. Daily, I pray to the Woot God and sacrifice my time on the altar of F5 hoping that my shipping weight and dimensions are true and that perhaps with luck my blessed snail, carrying forth the biscuits of cheese to their destination will be swift and intelligent. What will I be so lucky to receive? A broken Sansa? A dollar store disk shooter? There is always a hope that the Woot God, and his head priest on Earth, ThreePieceWoot, will bless me with the greatest of gifts. That most blessed gift is the second waiting. The waiting after receiving a special letter. This second waiting, more exclusive than the first, is the Holy of Holies for we Woot adherents. We shall see if the monkeys soaring around the Woot warehouse are quick in their packing of britches or coats for each of the chosen. We shall see how many times the high priest, ThreePieceWoot, will put pen to paper to sign a letter. We shall see how many Wibbly Balls are distributed to the congregation.
Let us all bow our heads in reverence to the Woot God, who will shower upon us the gift of the cast-offs.
Blessed are the Wooters, for they shall inherit the Crap.