Jason Toon

quality posts: 19 Private Messages Jason Toon

Albert Pujols vs. C.J. Wilson. Josh Hamilton vs. Chris Carpenter. Fredbird vs. Rangers Captain.

Tonight begins the World Series that will set wooter against wooter. The Texas Rangers, representing Woot's Dallas-area HQ, will play the Cardinals in St. Louis, the hometown and spiritual home of Woot's creative and web development team. (Yeah, us St. Louisans are in Seattle now, but there's no baseball team up here unless you count the Mariners.)

But in our hearts, we all know there's really only one way to settle this: which team boasted the awesomest beard in the 1982 Topps card set? Friends, Texans, Missourians, I give you the masculine splendor of Bruce Sutter and Jim Kern, two pitchers with the beards of ten normal men.

Anyway, if I'd known the 2011 season would turn out this way, I would've waited another year to write that blog post from 2010 explaining to Rangers fans the emotions they could expect to feel during the World Series. I've seen the Cardinals play in five in my lifetime, and they ran the gamut from soul-deadening collapse to euphoric triumph. Now Rangers fans are a little older, a little wiser, and a little hungrier after their own soul-deadening collapse against the Giants last year.

Which reminds me: what baseball teams have currently played the most consecutive seasons without winning a World Series? The list goes like this...

  1. Chicago Cubs
  2. Cleveland Indians
  3. Texas Rangers

That's actually good news, Rangers fans. The former #2 on that list broke their championship drought against the Cardinals in 2004 in the most humiliating way possible for the Redbirds. You have my team to thank for their key role in turning the Boston Red Sox from lovable losers to insufferable d-bags. With this year's stacked Rangers lineup and lights-out bullpen, there's a strong chance Ron Washington and co. will soon be as widely loathed as the Sawx and Yanks!

But here's one thing missing from this year's World Series matchup: any sense of rivalry or history. This is as close to a throwback to the pre-interleague era as you can get: the two teams have only played each other for one lone series, in Texas in 2004, when some goon knocked over a kid in pursuit of a foul ball. He also got the contempt of a stadium full of his fellow Rangers fans, including an on-air scolding by Rangers announcer Tom Grieve, who called him "the biggest jerk in this park". The chump skulked out of the park early, but eventually gave the ball back to the kid.

So that was fun, but not much to build a rivalry on. Both local papers are doing their best to get the bad blood flowing with pieces on how the two cities stack up against each other. But while the St. Louis Post-Dispatch's comparison is right there for anybody to read, the Dallas Morning News puts theirs behind a paywall. I'll have to call this one for St. Louis by forfeit.

Others are getting into the act, too. A frustrated Cubs fan now living in Texas offers 5 reasons to hate the Cards, but I won't hold it against him: a lifetime of Cubs-induced trauma does ugly things to people. A comparison of local beers gives the nod to St. Louis (of course - go, Schlafly!). ESPN's Page 2 compares landmarks, jazz musicians, junk food and more before concluding that the cities are tied.

OK, but do the Rangers have anything as awesome as this video in their history? I highly doubt it! (Because I couldn't find one on YouTube!)

Beards, beers, and costumed sax solos aside, one thing should make both Rangers fans and Cardinals fans happy: while our teams are playing in the World Series, somebody in Boston is whining about it.

Let the trash talk commence in the discussion thread! And enjoy the World Series, everybody!


quality posts: 3 Private Messages nobgobblin69

Keep the noise down, please! I'm up here in NH whining still....


quality posts: 0 Private Messages blperk

The former No. 2 on that list was the Chicago White Sox, not the Boston Red Sox. The White Sox last won the World Series in 1917 before they won in 2005.


quality posts: 0 Private Messages nebulous

I don't know anything about sports, but I know a fantastic beard when I see one. Thanks for not getting bogged down in the "who does what with the bat and kicks the ball into the hoop" or whatever sports tech talk, Woot. Maybe I'll buy a Bucket of Candycorn (I bet that turns into candy corn doesn't it? See? This is the kind of quality I'm talking about) to support your promotion of pogonotrophy.



quality posts: 16 Private Messages Snapster

apparently the PS3 likes the Rangers in 7, after an epic 14 inning contest in fact.


also, Jason how could you not post vdeo our Rangers CEO kicking the ass of current White Sox Manager. Must have been too scary for you.

since youtube is down for me at the moment here's an alternate:


quality posts: 1 Private Messages Beaker74

So annoyed that so many people just downgrade the World Series just because no East Coast teams are in it. I think this'll be a good Series for true baseball fans.

BTW, St. Louis in 6.


quality posts: 4 Private Messages reservoird

Short-shrift this series at your peril! The Cardinals led the NL in many offensive categories, and the Rangers were #2 or #3 in the AL in more, and neither one has starting pitchers that could do much in the last couple of weeks. Assuming reversion to the mean among relief pitchers, these could be some serious slugfests!

Not that true baseball fans should want that. Perhaps they should stick to games 1 and 5, when Carpenter will go up against Wilson.

Expect fewer than 12 runs to be scored in those two games combined, but that the teams should team up to score more than 12 on average in the others.

Cards in six. Oh please please please.


quality posts: 9 Private Messages kanedax

I know they don't have much to be all high and mighty about, with one of the worst records in baseball this year, but hey, Cardinals: The Red Sox weren't the only World Series drought you broke.

Thanks for the 1987 World Series! Sincerely, Minnesota Twins and Jeff Reardon's Beard:


Woot x13
ShirtWoot x26
KidsWoot x5


quality posts: 0 Private Messages tblain

Don't forget the Rams v. Cowboys matchup this Sunday as well...crazy...


quality posts: 1 Private Messages mrileyatwoot


Beaker74 wrote:So annoyed that so many people just downgrade the World Series just because no East Coast teams are in it. I think this'll be a good Series for true baseball fans.

BTW, St. Louis in 6.

Couldn't agree more with it being an awesome series to watch...but, call it the fact I'm wearing a Rangers hoodie both in my pic here and at this very moment, I think the Rangers will get this one in 5.


quality posts: 123 Private Messages tgentry

I enjoyed the Cardinals video. You don't see enough cartwheels in today's baseball. And what I wouldn't give to be a saxophone salesmen in the 80s...


quality posts: 0 Private Messages llonvent

Cardinals in 7!!!!! Just saying.


quality posts: 0 Private Messages talidal

Rangers in Six!!!

The relevant question is: What Texas or St. Louis related products will be featured in the upcoming World Series of Woots?!?

Woot-off when the Rangers win?


quality posts: 0 Private Messages dcharpo


How could you not use a picture of Motte????


quality posts: 0 Private Messages J*E*T*S

I am NOT whining. Well, maybe a little. Rangers in 5.

Steve in Bahstun


quality posts: 0 Private Messages traceywhaley

One down, 3 to go...Cards are going to take this one. No. 11 in 2011!!!


quality posts: 32 Private Messages llandar

Dallas blows St. Louis out of the water in two and only two categories: strip malls and highways.


quality posts: 6 Private Messages rayray099

I miss Rick Astley


quality posts: 32 Private Messages llandar


quality posts: 4 Private Messages reservoird
llandar wrote:Nevermind. I'm rooting for Texas now.

Oh come on. That's like 15 years old!


quality posts: 0 Private Messages deniset

The video was great. That is hometown Ralph Butler who has a strange connection to one of the Woot staffers, as he played music with the staffers father.


quality posts: 0 Private Messages deniset
llandar wrote:Dallas blows St. Louis out of the water in two and only two categories: strip malls and highways.