quality posts: 16 Private Messages WootBot


I'd like for us to relive a moment from my life together: it's several years ago, my junior or senior year in college, and I'm eating in the dining room with a few of my friends. We're discussing movies from our childhoods, Flight of the Navigator, Encino Man, whatever comes to mind.

Me: Hey, what was that movie, something with "the Applegates"? I remember my mom rented that by accident thinking it was okay for kids but it was actually really bad.

We don't know what you're talking about.

Me: Sure you do, it was about this family, the Applegates, that were actually giant bugs who were pretending to be human.

Friends: ...

Me: They eat people, or wrap people in giant cocoons or something, I think. And one or two of the bugs have sex with a human. I definitely remember that part.

Friends: There's no way this is a real movie.

By not knowing about and subsequently denying the existence of this film, (which was called both Meet The Applegates and just The Applegates) my friends fit into a demographic known as "most people." But trust me, if you've got a VHS player (this cinematic gem is so misunderstood and overlooked that it still has yet to be released on DVD), it's well worth your time.

The plot does in fact, as college me proposed, center around a family of bugs. To be more specific,it's a family of four giant South American praying mantises cloaked to be a "perfect family" (the Applegates) who move into suburbia. How they were able to assume their disguises is never revealed, but why they do is pretty straightforward; their mission is for Dick (Ed Begley Jr. or Stan Sitwell from Arrested Development), the father, to get a job at a nuclear power plant so that he can blow it up and end humanity forever, giving the bugs run of the land once again. 
Once again, yes, this exists.

But not all goes according to plan! No, human society turns the Applegates' perfect family dynamic upside down. Dick and Jane's marriage falls apart as Dick begins sleeping with his secretary (I told you there was sex!) and Jane develops a shopping addiction. Johnny, the son, becomes a metal-head who can't function without smoking marijuana (which he pretty much states outright; as he lights up a bong in one scene, his father asks, "what are you doing?" to which he responds with a line so subtle in its implication of an addiction: "it's the only way I can cope, dad."), and Sally, the daughter, gets pregnant.

I mentioned this was a comedy, right?

Well, anyway, I won't give away the ending except to mention it's of the bat-poop insane variety. Check out the trailer and then watch the whole thing. On a legally purchased VHS. I for one would never suggest you do something as immoral as watch it on Youtube, where some ruthless criminal has uploaded it in nine installments.

Photo by Flickr member audreyjm529, used under a Creative Commons License.


quality posts: 12 Private Messages lipophilia

"How they were able to assume their disguises is never revealed..."

This has never been an issue in cinema. One of my favorite scenes in Men in Black includes the line "your terms are acceptable" as the bug drags the guy into the pit created by the spacecraft and the misfit skin (with a great smile) that he somehow manages to cover himself with.


quality posts: 2 Private Messages Amander

Ha, I have had almost that exact same conversation, what are the chances of that?
So, yes, real movie. And double yes, bat poop crazy (guano loco). I think the craziest part of this film is that Stockard Channing was in it. Ed Begley, Jr. is always a little weird, but Stockard Channing was once a real actress (although now she does mostly tv movies I think). She once got nominated for an Oscar (obviously not for Meet the Applegates).

Horrible film, totally worth watching!


quality posts: 3 Private Messages bruceoite

I love looking at movies like this and seeing what else the director has done. Michael Lehmann directs mostly on TV nowadays, but his resume boasts these fine films:

Hudson Hawk
The Truth About Cats and Dogs
My Giant
40 Days and 40 Nights

I have actually seen 4.5 of those and enjoyed most of them. Yes, I like Hudson Hawk.


quality posts: 0 Private Messages JudgeMonkey

I was randomly thinking of this movie several weeks ago. I could not for the life of me, think of the title at the time,and soon forgot about it. Mystery solved.

I'm almost certain we have this on tape somewhere. Just assumed it was available on DVD, didn't even think that it might not be.