WootBot


quality posts: 14 Private Messages WootBot

Staff

Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.

PRINCETON, N.J. (UPI) -- Nearly two-thirds of Americans hold Congress in low regard in terms of honesty and ethical standards, results from a Gallup survey released Monday indicate.

The other third are some scary, scary, scary people.

WASHINGTON (UPI) -- Newt Gingrich's Republican presidential campaign is on a roll in states other than Iowa, a poll shows.

But in Iowa, it's served on toast.

FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. (UPI) -- Vultures are staging their annual attack on Fort Lauderdale, Fla., as they migrate south looking for easy food pickings, city officials say.

Experts say the arrival of mostly bald predators hoping to find something half-dead and vulnerable will be no surprise to the Ft. Lauderdale club scene.

MIAMI (UPI) -- A 30-year-old South Florida woman charged with trying to sell her infant son was being held on $25,000 bail.

Sources say the woman thinks she can raise the money in about nine months if allowed conjugal visits.

ISLAMABAD, Pakistan (UPI) -- There is a "credibility gap" between the United States and Pakistan, the Pakistani prime minister said of the deteriorating ties.

The two ambassadors have reportedly planned a quick trip to the department store in hopes their neckwear can soon look more credible.

NEW YORK (UPI) -- New York's Roundabout Theatre Company says Joel Grey has extended his run in its production of the stage musical "Anything Goes."

Security for the remaining performances are intentionally lax.



Quality Posts


DennisG2010


quality posts: 19 Private Messages DennisG2010
"ISLAMABAD, Pakistan (UPI) -- There is a "credibility gap" between the United States and Pakistan, the Pakistani prime minister said of the deteriorating ties.

The two ambassadors have reportedly planned a quick trip to the department store in hopes their neckwear can soon look more credible."



::GROAN::

Maybe they should shop at The [credibility] Gap...
!!!

olperfesser


quality posts: 2 Private Messages olperfesser
FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. (UPI) -- Vultures are staging their annual attack on Fort Lauderdale, Fla., as they migrate south looking for easy food pickings, city officials say.


What is scary is the number of the scavengers floating above the Century Village Apartment complex (a large 55 and older residence area).

AbEnd


quality posts: 4 Private Messages AbEnd

"Security for the remaining performances are intentionally lax."

I think Ben the Beetle would have issues with the grammer of this sentance.

thatheard


quality posts: 6 Private Messages thatheard
DennisG2010 wrote:::GROAN::

Maybe they should shop at The [credibility] Gap...
!!!



Yeah I was looking for a Gap(tm) joke too. Still, any joke involving neckwear is good times.

cordydan


quality posts: 4 Private Messages cordydan

Vultures are scavengers which, IMHO, makes the joke funnier.

klozitshoper


quality posts: 2 Private Messages klozitshoper
AbEnd wrote:"Security for the remaining performances are intentionally lax."

I think Ben the Beetle would have issues with the grammer of this sentance.



I thought about that one too. I assumed that it was a reference to several persons. If not, but then again, if so. I drove myself to a beginning headache on that one. Round and round we go..........