WootBot


quality posts: 14 Private Messages WootBot

Staff

We here at Woot like to consider ourselves at the cutting edge of mocking new extreme sports, which is why we were so happy to see the latest craze sweeping the nation: Tazer Ball! Take two teams of four dudes, add a giant novelty soccer ball, throw in eight tasers, and stand way the hell back:

Who said the decline of civilization wouldn't yield great sporting events?! Ultimate Tazer Ball raises so many questions: Why did no one check the correct spelling of "taser?" Was this born from watching fans streak onto the field of real sporting events, only to be stun-gunned into submission? Why does the ball have to be a giant soccer ball? How can one player have a reputation for being a cheater when the rules of the game allow for the forcible electrocution of opposing players? Is there anywhere besides my local prison that I can actually see one of these matches? How long before we can drop the pretense and officially launch the Mutant League? The mind boggles!

Would you play Tazer Ball? Of course not! But would you go down a few beers and watch some parolees run around a field for an hour stun-gunning each other? What other sports could be improved by the addition of stun guns? Let us know what you think in the comments!

thatheard


quality posts: 6 Private Messages thatheard

Chess. Definitely chess.

nparus


quality posts: 1 Private Messages nparus

I was thinking golf. Golf definitly needs something to liven it up. Personally, I would replace the clubs with tasers.

Moony

s002cjs


quality posts: 0 Private Messages s002cjs

Chess is decent, but I was thinking golf. The hush falls over the crowd, Tiger lines up for the eagle, then on the backswing, a perfect ambush by the caddy sneaking up!

sgsax


quality posts: 5 Private Messages sgsax

Curling. Because anything would make curling more interesting.

thatheard


quality posts: 6 Private Messages thatheard

Syncronized swimming?

tkuhne


quality posts: 0 Private Messages tkuhne

water polo

pureval


quality posts: 5 Private Messages pureval

Figure Skating. Instead of point deductions you get zapped.

It puts the crap inside the bag or it gets the hose again.

Robotguy


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Robotguy

Tandem slalom snowboarding, because there's nothing like seeing your opponent go limp at 45 mph on a snow covered hill.

And that trailer had waaaay to much "ball" and not nearly enough "tazer"

HardwareJEJ


quality posts: 1 Private Messages HardwareJEJ

Probably, they spelled tazer with a "z" because taser may be copyighted?

James :?

motospyder


quality posts: 16 Private Messages motospyder

I am playing golf tomorrow. It is supposed to be in the mid 70s (Tucson). Miss a putt and get zapped. A different edge to the game.

I miss the XFL. Remember that experiment? It was an off-season fiasco, but fun to watch. If any sport needed a Tazer, certainly the XFL.

He Hate Me

Firebert


quality posts: 3 Private Messages Firebert

Do they only get one set of batteries? Looked to me like a lot of running around when there should have been tazing.

You know what I say to "I'm gonna run through you" guy? Go ahead and try, I'm holding a mofo tazer!

TAZ HIM BRO!


As for another sport with tazers... Crashed Ice. Redbull and Tazer bring you you "TAZED ICE!"



olcubmaster


quality posts: 29 Private Messages olcubmaster

Regarding the "more shocks/less running" comments, the use of the handhelds is restricted to two areas, one in front of each goal.

From the official site:

"Field Regulations: The field will be an astro turf 200’ x 85’ rectangle. Shock Zones will be established in an eight-foot semi circle around each goal."

So for you shock happy folks, you may want to petition for an increased Shock Zone when the franchise hits your town.

Or you can hope Woot brings back the
Pocket Shock-it offered back in Dec 08.

http://www.woot.com/Blog/ViewEntry.aspx?Id=6864

Sugar 'em up and send 'em home

thatheard


quality posts: 6 Private Messages thatheard
Firebert wrote:Do they only get one set of batteries? Looked to me like a lot of running around when there should have been tazing.

You know what I say to "I'm gonna run through you" guy? Go ahead and try, I'm holding a mofo tazer!

TAZ HIM BRO!


As for another sport with tazers... Crashed Ice. Redbull and Tazer bring you you "TAZED ICE!"



"Hold your fire. There's no life forms aboard."

"Hold your fire? What, are we paying by the laser now?"

"You don't do the budget, Terry. I do."

zaidwise


quality posts: 3 Private Messages zaidwise

I've thought about it, and decided. Ultimate-taser-synchronized-swimming-chess.