Jason Toon


quality posts: 19 Private Messages Jason Toon


We're now in hour 11 of the Woot writers' strike, and our resolve shows no signs of breaking. It helps that we've been asleep for at least nine of those hours. Among the powerful organizations who've joined the cause in solidarity with our struggle include:

  • Urban Beekeepers Against Women's Suffrage
  • The Aryan Homeopathy Front
  • Babywearers United for a Sane Fluoridation Policy
  • The Mumia Abu-Jamal Foundation for Open-Source Vaccines
  • Radical Faeries Against the Gold-Fringed Flag

But as we roll this snowball of solidarity into an unstoppable snowman of social justice, we realize the need to illuminate the brutal conditions Woot management has recently imposed on its heroic, selfless, talented, irresistibly sexy writing team. WARNING: the following paragraphs contain graphic descriptions of workplace discomfort.

The beer taps in the men's room have been removed. Management expects us to meet all of our beer needs with the taps in the writers' office. This means the lines at those taps have grown to as many as three deep. They say it's a cost-cutting measure - but writers who are standing in line for beer aren't producing copy.

We are no longer allowed to run torrents from our office computers. Some of us have been reduced to actually paying money out of our own pockets to watch movies. Others still haven't even seen Real Steel. Strike action is an extreme measure, but we could not stand idly by and watch our share ratios suffer.

Our Xbox team-building time has been reduced to two hours a day: In the wake of the recent release of Cabela's Big Game Hunter 2012, this ruthless crackdown could not come at a worse time for morale. If I don't know if I can trust my co-workers to shoot a virtual leopard, how can I possibly trust them to write a good joke about a paper shredder or gaming mouse?


I could go on, but that would require more writing, which kind of goes against the whole point of this strike. The key takeaway here is, if we're not laughing, nobody's laughing. And we're confident this strike has proven that truth.

Another truth we've seen forged in the furnace of struggle: if you're going to picket your workplace, do it on Sunday. We haven't had to chase away a single strikebreaker or delivery truck. We thought we had one a little while ago, but it was just some dude who needed to turn around. Suffice to say, that scab had to find himself another driveway.

The Woot Writers' Strike Committee

 

PabloPalmeri6837


quality posts: 2 Private Messages PabloPalmeri6837

Bag of Jerks... Like it

Josephus


quality posts: 25 Private Messages Josephus

I'm not making a witty reply in support of the occasionally funny writers.

er, I mean, my reply is intentionally not funny as a way of showing my support for the under-beered writers at woot.

ok, also the neck-bearded writers.

lumpthar


quality posts: 4 Private Messages lumpthar

That's a mean-looking picket line. I sure hope the scabs don't get hurt trying to cross it.

Gnomercy


quality posts: 12 Private Messages Gnomercy

Dude, those weren't beer taps.
Oh the horror.


_____________________________
I woot, therefore I am.

.

compassstl


quality posts: 30 Private Messages compassstl

We support the humans! Robots can vacuum and mop my floor, clean my gutters, bend my girders, and defuse bombs, but they can't write my woot posts

februarystar27


quality posts: 0 Private Messages februarystar27

What I want to know is, are there still beer taps in the women's restrooms? Come on, Woot, us female writers need to drink away our misery too!

pvjjh


quality posts: 0 Private Messages pvjjh

Man this sucks. Fine I am joining forces with the writers and joining the picket line. See if I buy any bags of jerks. "OLD" PterodactylPenisENVY best get off his duff end this strike so life can go on with our crap!

mlsapack


quality posts: 9 Private Messages mlsapack

Maybe I'm just tired, but I can't tell what is depicted on the sign ehind the 'No' symbol in the second picture. Anyone?

bdecker202


quality posts: 18 Private Messages bdecker202
mlsapack wrote:Maybe I'm just tired, but I can't tell what is depicted on the sign ehind the 'No' symbol in the second picture. Anyone?



Looks like the Woot exclamation point.

lisaviolet


quality posts: 3 Private Messages lisaviolet
mlsapack wrote:Maybe I'm just tired, but I can't tell what is depicted on the sign ehind the 'No' symbol in the second picture. Anyone?



An exclamation point.

nuketank


quality posts: 5 Private Messages nuketank
mlsapack wrote:Maybe I'm just tired, but I can't tell what is depicted on the sign ehind the 'No' symbol in the second picture. Anyone?



It's the orange Woot! exclamation mark.

Notable Woots:
1 Samsung Modus Bluetooth Headset Kit, 2 MuzxDNA Earphones (one lost, one destroyed) superceded by 2 MEElectronics M16 Earphones, 2 Phantom S107's, 1 Art101 124-piece art set, iGo rechargable battery set, way more Fuji batteries than I immediately know what to do with, 1 Dell Streak 7" Tablet
1 Big Old Chevy dated 3/22/2011, #4 of the night (!).
1 Bundle of Caravans dated 4/25/2011

bsmith1


quality posts: 104 Private Messages bsmith1

Can't really have a picket "line" with only one person.

mattsand1972


quality posts: 0 Private Messages mattsand1972

I, for one, welcome our new writing bot overlords.


Just kidding, stay strong writers, fight the man! Well, just one man...any more than that, you might get beat up

mlsapack


quality posts: 9 Private Messages mlsapack
bdecker202 wrote:Looks like the Woot exclamation point.



Thanks everyone, Duh on me!

Woot writers - we are behind you all the way. Solidarity! Don't you think you've had enough, though? Perhaps it is time to give in to 'The Man' so you can update the product descriptions?

Jason, when might we see another update from the picket lines?

xnxsxx


quality posts: 0 Private Messages xnxsxx

LOL, it seems that the writers' strike is only one person....

bsmith1


quality posts: 104 Private Messages bsmith1

How long until "Matty Ice" has their site privileges suspended? Then they won't be able to update the blog!

frogg4269


quality posts: 1 Private Messages frogg4269

Too bad I don't live in Texas any more or I would join the Woot! revolution Perhaps I will picket my computer in support.

jdcasa


quality posts: 0 Private Messages jdcasa

About as funny as the usual uneccessarily overwritten ramblings.

rwheeler


quality posts: 5 Private Messages rwheeler

I like how they referenced scab in the last line, which is also the acronym for the robots that are replacing them.

Heh. Comedy

kickmyassman


quality posts: 4 Private Messages kickmyassman

They probably won't be hiring until monday, right? Because I think I could survive with just the amenities listed. No offence to the writing staff but... I think I'd be willing to settle.

Stay strong woot writers! Hopefully your boss will come to his sense before one of us moves in to take your cushy jobs :-P

Narfcake


quality posts: 288 Private Messages Narfcake

Is it bad that I'm just trying to figure out which shirt is being worn underneath?

februarystar27


quality posts: 0 Private Messages februarystar27
Narfcake wrote:Is it bad that I'm just trying to figure out which shirt is being worn underneath?



I was doing that too! In the song it looks like he's wearing Strike!, and I even went to that shirt's page to see if there were any clues. haha.

sprint113


quality posts: 0 Private Messages sprint113

Wait... picketing the fire lane? Isn't that a bit dangerous?

duodec


quality posts: 14 Private Messages duodec

But turning off their torrents is a GOOD thing if they're using the same internet connections as we customers trying to buy stuff. They're hogging _our_ bandwidth!

Woot!, you need to give your writers their own dedicated bandwidth!

Look upon my Avatar, ye whiny, and despair!

rwheeler


quality posts: 5 Private Messages rwheeler
sprint113 wrote:Wait... picketing the fire lane? Isn't that a bit dangerous?



Not if you have a bunch of 14,000 BTU air conditioners to combat any fires!

BabyBear


quality posts: 18 Private Messages BabyBear

Wow that picket line looks like its working! Not a soul entering or leaving the Woot offices! It's like the place is shut.. down.. Oh wait, it's what? Sunday? Really? Dam.. Well, at least its scaring away the armadillos.

HikingStick


quality posts: 6 Private Messages HikingStick
Gnomercy wrote:Dude, those weren't beer taps.
Oh the horror.



+1 for humor

-1 for taste (flavor)

HikingStick
Blessings Of Commerce> Seven!
Woots> 36 and counting!
Sellout Woots> Eight.
Shirt Woots> Two (BoCarrots, The Raven).
Kids Woots> Eight.

HikingStick


quality posts: 6 Private Messages HikingStick
bsmith1 wrote:Can't really have a picket "line" with only one person.



STOP SIDING WITH MANAGEMENT!!!

HikingStick
Blessings Of Commerce> Seven!
Woots> 36 and counting!
Sellout Woots> Eight.
Shirt Woots> Two (BoCarrots, The Raven).
Kids Woots> Eight.

mikebbass


quality posts: 21 Private Messages mikebbass

I for one, welcome our new Robot overlords.

Proudly tracking via WootStalker.com
= 27
  • Bags Of Crap

    1. The Bag of Shirt Crap 7/11/2014
    2. Blackboard of Cleanliness 7/11/2014
    3. (Hand)Blackboard of Cleanliness 3/23/2014
    4. 2nd Day of Crapness 12/4/13
    5. 45 Down Crossword 4/23/13
    6. FCWCECKMFONPTDMIPWAACBFMIGWS 9/18/12
    7. good-old-golden-crap-days 8/13/12
    8. we-eight-the-crap 7/12/12
    9. in-your-crapday-suit 7/12/12
    10. feliz-crapleanos 7/12/12
    11. who-smell-just-like-you 7/12/12
    12. not-exactly-a-goodie-bag 7/12/12
    13. Barrel of Crops 05/22/12
    14. Barrel of Crops 04/25/12
    15. Blackboard of Cleanliness 03/22/12
    16. Blackboard of Cleanliness 01/19/12
    17. Santa's Sack of Crap 12/25/11
    18. Blackboard of Cleanliness 12/06/11
    19. Blackboard of Cleanliness 11/09/11
    20. Blackboard of Cleanliness 07/12/11
    21. Blackboard of Cleanliness 06/15/11
    22. Random Crap 09/22/10
    23. Random Crap 08/20/10
    24. Random Crap 04/14/10
    25. Random Crap 01/28/10
    26. Random Crap 09/24/08
    27. Random Crap 04/01/08

    Focks


    quality posts: 0 Private Messages Focks

    Occupy Woot! Do we bring our Screaming Monkeys?

    While I feel defecating on vehicles is unsanitary, I am willing to bring some rubber dog poop and put it outside the main entrance.

    Count me in on your protest.

    I think you should also get portable back rubbers. While they may sound big and awkward, especially while in the restrooms, think how relaxing it would be.

    As an urban beekeeper, I find that news of the beekeepers against the suffrage movement illegitimate and irresponsible. Everyone knows the Urban Beekeepers are for Women's Suffrage, we are against the painful experimentation of natural peanut butter and the cattle.

    DaveInSoCal


    quality posts: 18 Private Messages DaveInSoCal

    Viva la Revolution!


    bodsford


    quality posts: 1 Private Messages bodsford

    I have a tent and am ready to join the movement! If it's ok with the group I plan on telecommuting...

    tannerjs


    quality posts: 0 Private Messages tannerjs

    Though I support the movement, I cannot condone the level of violence depicted in the protest photos. We all need to tone down the rhetoric and try to bring focus back to this movement before it goes too far. Live by the pen and you shall die by the pen.

    madcow19


    quality posts: 10 Private Messages madcow19

    I am willing to come in and negotiate. I think my fee is obvious.

    bogus


    quality posts: 11 Private Messages bogus

    Hang in there dudes, you shall overcome. I hear the President is a big fan of both strikes and beer, and is trying to put something together for y'all.

    soliver


    quality posts: 27 Private Messages soliver
    HikingStick wrote:I LOVE MANAGEMENT!!!



    Good for you! 1% all the way!

    binners


    quality posts: 1 Private Messages binners

    I hope they fire the lot of you!!!

    raebee


    quality posts: 21 Private Messages raebee

    I don't think you can protest there. You're clearly blocking access from the fire lane and that's a No No.


    Where do you find a Roomba? At the Innba!

    GuardianBob


    quality posts: 11 Private Messages GuardianBob
    mikebbass wrote:I for one, welcome our new Robot overlords.