Have you ever invited people to a ski resort and had everyone show up with ping pong paddles? And you were like, “Guys, what the heck? I said we were skiing!”? And your friends were all like, “We thought ping pong was the same as skiing”? And then there was nothing they could do but try to tape the paddles to their feet and ski down the mountain that way? Except you didn’t want to ski anymore because you didn’t want to be seen with a bunch of paddle-footed novices?
Well, I have. Metaphorically speaking.
You see, last week , I put out a research survey for The Sean Adams University of Business Management Development Leadership. The prompt was: “The best way to achieve your dreams and build a better future for you and your family is...” Well, much to my surprise, the most popular answer wasn’t “to study business at a prestigious, cutting-edge university.” Instead, you guys thought it would serve your future better to “trip and fall into a bunch of nettles.”
Well, you’re wrong. And here’s 3 reasons why:
1. It’s hard to hang nettles on the wall in your office: So, maybe you’re proud of your nettles. Fine. But how are you going to show them off? After all, they’re really hard to hang, since very few companies make nettle-shaped frames. Really, your best bet is to just hold them up and hammer a nail right through them, but then you have to wear gloves in order not to get stung. With a degree from a cutting-edge university, it’s much easier. First off, there are all sorts of frames that it’ll fit into, and you don’t need to wear gloves to hang it up, unless you’re allergic… TO SUCCESS!
2. Tripping and falling into nettles shows a lack of commitment: It can take years to finish a business degree program. Tripping and falling into a bunch of nettles, on the other hand, takes between 10 seconds and 5 minutes (and even then, it only takes 5 minutes in extreme cases, like if you’re tripping and skydiving into a bunch of nettles). Sure, the accelerated nature of the falling-into-nettles path makes it more convenient than the traditional degree, but here’s the thing: the world of business isn’t always convenient. In fact, taking the easier path shows that you lack patience and commitment, which can be a big turn off to potential investors and business partners.
3. If nettles were good for business, there’d be more alpaca CEOs: Read through the list of the 100 highest-paid CEOs in America, and you’ll be able to count the number of alpacas on one hand. Even if that hand doesn’t have any fingers. And isn’t a hand at all. And is really just a sort-of invisible, appendage-free blob thing. What I’m getting at is, there are none. So what does this have to do with nettles? Well, alpacas eat them. Willingly. I rest my case.
Go ahead and try to argue with this flawless logic in the comments section! I dare you!