WootBot


quality posts: 14 Private Messages WootBot

Staff

There are plenty of places on Woot where you can find helpful information. This is not one of those places. Every week we will be comparing 3 pairs of things that shouldn’t be compared using this formula: Unrelated Thing X vs. Unrelated Thing Y in terms of Function Z. Facts will be misunderstood, overlooked, or changed for the sake of the argument. Enjoy.

1. Polyester vs. Cotton in terms of a Role Model for Getting through Hard Times

Cotton is comfortable at first. It’s soft. It breathes. But it also shrinks after it gets cleaned. That’s why you can’t rely on cotton. Polyester, meanwhile, is far more resilient. It doesn’t wrinkle. It doesn’t shrink. It stays strong in the face of adversity. Now, I’m sure there are nay-sayers out there, saying, “But nay, it doesn’t breath!” Well, in my opinion, that’s a good thing. Sometimes, when you’re in the thick of a tough situation, you don’t have time to stop and catch your breath.

Advantage:

Polyester

2. Croutons vs. Light Houses in terms of Waking up Fresh and Ready for the Day

Here’s the main thing about croutons: they’re crunchy. So maybe you think the jarring, abrasive noise they make when being eaten is enough to wake someone up, but consider this: crunch time traditionally happens at the end of something (right before a deadline or in the final minutes of an athletic contest, for example). Light houses, much like the sun, provide light. The sun comes up in the morning. The morning is when most people wake up.

Advantage:

Light Houses

3. A Can Red Paint vs. A Measuring Cup in terms of Lifting the Ancient Curse

Where there are curses, there are riddles and traps and puzzles and tombs that need to be opened and jungles that need to be explored and danger that needs to be encountered. What I’m getting at is that an ancient curse can be exhausting, and the last thing you want to do is risk all your hard work by eyeballing a measurement. So you need to have a measuring cup on your person at all times. As for a can of red paint, they didn’t even have cans in ancient times. They had crushed berries or whatever. That’s why the paint on ancient cars would always wash away in the rain [CITATION NEEDED].

Advantage:

A Measuring Cup

Now, to crown the king of last week's post, otherwise known as The Rebuttal of the Week. This week's lucky user is curtise, who kills my abstract argument for why a visor is better than a harness for dealing with change with an abstract argument of his own:

In my book, a harness beats a visor every time when it comes to dealing with change! You simply need to remember that when you are harnessed in, you can not run away screaming in sheer terror from the pain, the horror of said newness!! You're locked in, and you might even feel sort of safe while you become accustomed to the "new normal" as your skin crawls. A visor would actually make it easier to run away, as it helps reduce glare (and the subsequent risk of tripping) whilst you are hot-footting it away from change. 

A smart person wouldn't set himself up to be outsmarted each week. Well, luckily for you, I'm not a very smart person. So go ahead: look at the above comparisons, let me have it, and I might just discuss your intellectual superiority next Tuesday.

Photos:"Purple Polyester Fabric" by flickr user, shaire productions; "light house" by flickr user, digital sextant; "Pouring the molasses" by flickr user, waitscm.. All used under a Creative Commons License.

dukeofwulf


quality posts: 7 Private Messages dukeofwulf

Polyester vs. Cotton in terms of a Role Model for Getting through Hard Times

Cotton is all-natural. Nature is life. And what did the good Dr. Malcolm say? Ah, yes: "Life, uh... finds a way." http://youtu.be/SkWeMvrNiOM

Nothing is better at getting through hard times than nature itself, while polyester eventually will be swept away with the rest of feeble, ephemeral humanity.

Inspiring, amirite?

singingfury


quality posts: 0 Private Messages singingfury

You argue that they didn't even have cans in ancient times...
I will give you that.
But with a can of red paint, you can "Can" the curse (thus getting rid of it) after you use the paint!
What can you do with measuring cups? Measure stuff. Like how much despair you have.

Advantage: Can of Red paint

cbrett42


quality posts: 8 Private Messages cbrett42

Croutons vs. Light Houses in terms of Waking up Fresh and Ready for the Day

To wake up fresh and ready for the day, you need a good night's sleep. Have you ever tried getting a good night's sleep with a light repeatedly shining into your window every few minutes? Therefore, light houses are out.

Meanwhile, croutons have complex carbohydrates. Complex carbohydrates from the night before give you a nice store of energy to draw from. So eating croutons before bed ensures that you are well-energized and truly fresh and ready for the day when you wake up in the morning.

Advantage: Croutons

lstaff


quality posts: 199 Private Messages lstaff
cbrett42 wrote:Croutons vs. Light Houses in terms of Waking up Fresh and Ready for the Day

To wake up fresh and ready for the day, you need a good night's sleep. Have you ever tried getting a good night's sleep with a light repeatedly shining into your window every few minutes? Therefore, light houses are out.

Meanwhile, croutons have complex carbohydrates. Complex carbohydrates from the night before give you a nice store of energy to draw from. So eating croutons before bed ensures that you are well-energized and truly fresh and ready for the day when you wake up in the morning.

Advantage: Croutons



I'm late to the party, but this is basically the exact thing i was going to post!!!

lstaff


quality posts: 199 Private Messages lstaff

Polyester vs. Cotton in terms of a Role Model for Getting through Hard Times

When getting through tough times, say, a job interview perhaps - it ALWAYS is better to be natural. If you are artificial, it works against you. You get easily tripped up in the lies and deceit. You make more work for yourself trying to keep those lies going. You may even reap some punishment.

In life, Be yourself. Be natural. You will get farther this way.

And, by the way, "Poly-Ester"?? This cannot be the Heroine, as there was only one "Esther", (in the bible): the Heroine of the Jews.
Let's keep it that way.

MeshColour


quality posts: 2 Private Messages MeshColour

Hard times often involves trials and survival, both of which often involve the use of fire. When polyester is exposed to fire it shrinks away attempting to extinguish itself, cotton will not burn easily and will not shrink away from the hard time that is fire.

Learn from cotton and stand up to the flames with all your might.