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WootBot


 quality posts: 14 Private Messages WootBot

Staff

The higher-ups have decided that that office will be CLOSED tomorrow, JUNE 27th for the upcoming Ragnarǫk. We had been holding out hope that the final battle between the gods of Asgard wouldn't disrupt the morning commute, but the latest prognostications say otherwise. 

SO:

  • The mail servers will be up into the Earth's forests alight with flame, and the VPN will work until the world is fully submerged in water. THIS IS NOT A VACATION DAY, PEOPLE. You are fully expected to work from home right up until the world ends (~4:15pm).
  • It will not officially be Ragnarǫk until Heimdallr blows manfully into Gjallarhorn. If you don't hear Ghallarhorn's piercing note by 11am, the Götterdämmerung is a false alarm. Come into work or file a personal day (DO NOT FILE PERSONAL DAYS THROUGH THE OLD ADMIN SYSTEM. USE THE NEWER ADMIN SYSTEM BUT NOT THE NEWEST ADMIN SYSTEM.)
  • FYI: Heimdallr and Loki will slay each other on the plain Vígríðr. So it is written. If you have any outstanding expense reports that cite either of these gods as vendors, please file those ASAP. ASAP means As Soon As Possible (PLEASE read my email with subject "Glossary of extremely common business acronyms" so I don't have to keep spelling this out.)
  • Full disclosure: There is a chance that the office will be used to punish murderers and those who break oaths. What does this mean? The walls will be replaced with heads of snakes pointing inward and spewing venom interminably. We're trying to get the gods to use LC Staffing's office space on the 3rd floor instead, but it's a coin flip at this point.
  • Only two humans will survive this apocalyptic clash of the gods. So make sure to give Líf and Lífþrasir a clear, detailed explanation of your role so they can cover you. Líf will be especially pressed as she repopulates the world with her fertile womb, so PLEASE be respectful and help her out as much as possible.
Any questions? Use the Ask Jeeves search engine. I don't have time for this as I am girding for battle and my cat has a urinary tract infection.

BYE

Katherine Tull-Potts, BA
Office Manager

vampboy


 quality posts: 0 Private Messages vampboy

Should messages for management be left on Baldr's desk for when he returns, or just left on the voicemail system?

Jessara


 quality posts: 6 Private Messages Jessara

This explains so much, and answers the burning question 'What kind of people work at Woot?'

shauneq


 quality posts: 0 Private Messages shauneq

Will my $5 shipping fee be reimbursed if my order does not arrive by the end of the world?

mattschuette


 quality posts: 4 Private Messages mattschuette

Staff

Don't forget the recently re-instated no-wolves-at-work policy due to what has been foretold regarding Fenrir - Týr, again, we apologize for the last time he was allowed into the office.

jcolag


 quality posts: 8 Private Messages jcolag

On the chance that Ragnarok is cyclical, I've attached my time-sheets and expense reports for my time here. Please archive them, this time, so that I won't need to fill them out again.

I'd carve them into stone blocks suitable for use in building churches and temples, but IT claims to have lost the USB Burin and I forget which one tells the truth.

Funny though, I would've expected Fimbulvetr to be chillier and more...murder-y.

bounty42


 quality posts: 15 Private Messages bounty42

For those of us with a clinical inability to understand the literary point of view, Does this mean that Woot will be down tomorrow?


Numquam minoris aestimo potentia stultis, maxime in magna coetus
------------------------------------
■(1:40 PM, 7/27/2012) bounty42 quips, "Forget Guest Editor, what we need is a Guest Rejectionator."
■(10:40 AM, 6/21/2012 ) bounty42 inquires, "Is it just me, or do we not typically get this many Editors Choice shirts?"
■(2:02 PM, 6/15/2012) bounty42 runs numbers.
■(10:40 AM, 6/7/2012) bounty42 dispenses wisdom for all those 'too late' naysayers, "A woot shirt is never late, nor is it early, it arrives precisely when it means to."
■(3:20 PM, 5/18/2012) bounty42 states, "The turtle is very cute, and I love the smug look he's got."

EssenGrabow


 quality posts: 2 Private Messages EssenGrabow

AGAIN? This is starting to get old.

Mavyn


 quality posts: 22 Private Messages Mavyn

The Frost giants sent an update, it's not happening until NEXT week.

Come on, I thought the social committee was better organized than this.

My speech is not splitting. I am speaking in Cthulhu.

inkycatz


 quality posts: 105 Private Messages inkycatz
Mavyn wrote:Come on, I thought the social committee was better organized than this.



We caught them at lunch...

I'm just hanging out, really.

scarredwithstars


 quality posts: 3 Private Messages scarredwithstars
inkycatz wrote:We caught them at lunch...



That is not the itty bitty committee that I was expecting...

DemonMF777


 quality posts: 2 Private Messages DemonMF777

Awesome... Can't Wait!

jettavdwrvr


 quality posts: 2 Private Messages jettavdwrvr

"Um, I'm gonna need you go ahead and come in tomorrow. So if you could be here around nine, that would be great.

Oh, oh, yea…I forgot. I'm gonna also need you to come in Sunday too. We, uh, lost some people this week and we need to sorta catch up. Thanks."

mattschuette


 quality posts: 4 Private Messages mattschuette

Staff

DemonMF777 wrote:Awesome... Can't Wait!



I was thinking more like this

lmbyrd


 quality posts: 0 Private Messages lmbyrd

I am a son of Mím, so I will be busy at play. All foretelling aside, I fully expect to land in Brimir, drink in hand. What I want to know is, when Fenrir swallows Odin whole, what happens to Dad's head?

lmbyrd


 quality posts: 0 Private Messages lmbyrd

Boy, you weren't kidding. Right after my last post, as I was perusing Woot's selections for today, the site became suddenly unreachable. I kept trying to connect for 7 or 8 minutes, then went to look out my window to see if the waters were indeed rising. Glad my access to Woot is working again...I need my daily fix!

inkycatz


 quality posts: 105 Private Messages inkycatz
lmbyrd wrote:Boy, you weren't kidding. Right after my last post, as I was perusing Woot's selections for today, the site became suddenly unreachable. I kept trying to connect for 7 or 8 minutes, then went to look out my window to see if the waters were indeed rising. Glad my access to Woot is working again...I need my daily fix!



Well!
Things just went all wibbly-wobbly there for a bit. Not entirely sure the techy details of what went down, so all I can say rightfully is sorry about that. We appreciate your patience (and tweets, and Deals thread) and concerns!

The world did not end, this was just a drill.

I'm just hanging out, really.
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