WootBot


quality posts: 15 Private Messages WootBot

Staff

There are plenty of places on Woot where you can find helpful information. This is not one of those places. Every week we will be comparing 3 pairs of things that shouldn’t be compared using this formula: Unrelated Thing X vs. Unrelated Thing Y in terms of Function Z. Facts will be misunderstood, overlooked, or changed for the sake of the argument. Enjoy.

1. A Thin Layer of Wax vs. Lava in terms of Doing a Triathlon

Lava can be great for training purposes when it comes to the bike or the run – nothing inspires you to go faster like turning around and seeing a bunch of lava – but for the swim, it could prove detrimental. Think about it: lava is liquid rock, and a fear of liquids is not what you need to dive right into whatever body of water you have to doggy-paddle across. On the other hand, a thin layer of wax could be just what you need. Just coat the bottom of your foot and bam! You’re protected from the harsh surface of the road, path, or peddle without wasting valuable time ripping off a pair of shoes before you jump in the water.

Advantage:

A Thin Layer of Wax
 

2. A Saucepan vs. That Feeling like You Forgot Something when You Leave to go on Vacation in terms of Art

Do saucepans ever inspire filmmakers to make works of art? No. How about that feeling like you forgot something when you leave to go on vacation? Any exemplary pieces of cinema based on that? Case = rested.

Advantage:

That Feeling like You Forgot Something when You Leave to go on Vacation

3. Helium vs. A Pretzel from the Mall in terms of Waking Someone Up

Helium will make your voice sound silly and cartoonish, but it’ll also make you feel light headed. So, if the high pitch provided by the first inhalation isn’t enough to wake the slumberer, you’re in a whole pile of trouble, because now you run the risk of putting yourself out of consciousness, and after that, there’s basically no chance you’ll be able to wake someone else. No, a pretzel from the mall is the better waker. After all, that smell can penetrate and/or dispel just about anything – bad moods, health concerns, etc. – so surely it’ll be enough to wake someone.

Advantage:
A Pretzel from the Mall
 

Now, what you've all been waiting for: the Rebuttal of the Week from last week's comparisons goes to user dpostman, who argued the virtues of a twin over a headband for playing darts:

How could the headband win? An identical twin dartner would definitely be more of an advantage. The twin could buy a round of "Aiming Fluid", what you non-professionals refer to as beer. And if the twin were to open a tab, you can get all the aiming fluid you want and say just put it on my tab, what can be more fun than that?

You too could get your comment up in pixels on the Woot blog! All you need to do is argue with one of the above comparisons in the comment section below. So, go ahead. Let me have it!

"I'm melting! Melting!" by flickr user, ankakay; "luggage" by flickr user, sun dazed; "Soft Pretzel" by flickr user, BarbaraLN. All used under a Creative Commons License.

dukeofwulf


quality posts: 7 Private Messages dukeofwulf

2. A Saucepan vs. That Feeling like You Forgot Something when You Leave to go on Vacation in terms of Art



http://images.fineartamerica.com/images-medium-large/stack-of-saucepan-inside-oven-sami-sarkis.jpg

Look, I'm no PhD of Modern Art, but give credit where it's due.

xXevilklownXx


quality posts: 0 Private Messages xXevilklownXx

I disagree with your analysis of lava in terms of doing a triathlon. As you astutely pointed out, lava is liquid rock. What you failed to mention is that it is extremely hot liquid rock. Water is much lower in temperature than said liquid rock, and thus when the hot liquid rock touches the cool water, it will turn to solid rock, thereby shortening the distance of the swim. Swimming a shorter distance is typically faster than swimming a longer distance (at least insofar as Einsteinium physics holds up), so lava would definitely help with the swim.

Lassik


quality posts: 2 Private Messages Lassik

A Saucepan vs. That Feeling like You Forgot Something when You Leave to go on Vacation in terms of Art

Saucepan Art

Also I believe there are a lot more movies based on cooking rather than the feeling that something was left behind. One could argue that those movies were simply inspired by cooking and not by the saucepan itself however, who's to say that the original inspiration didn't come from a writer staring at a saucepan in their house when they came up with the idea to do a movie based around cooking.

Also, a lot of very artistic dishes in the culinary field started in a saucepan.

I think the saucepan extends in to further areas of art whereas the feeling of forgetting something really only sets an inspiration for movies.

The functions a saucepan can provide to various facets of art are almost limitless.

They say I have Attention Deficit Disorder but i don't th.... Ohh look a kitty!

Josephus


quality posts: 25 Private Messages Josephus

3. Helium vs. A Pretzel from the Mall in terms of Waking Someone Up

Seriously, could this be any more apparent?

I give you...an amateur 'model' POPPING HELIUM BALLOONS while trying to be sexy, SFW, I think. how could this not wake you up? Plus, you can put pirate stuf on a heliuum balloon!.

safyrejet


quality posts: 123 Private Messages safyrejet

Pretzel from the mall will be cold and not smelling so good by the time I get it home from the mall.

Helium has the advantage, simply attach balloon to nozzle of helium tank. Inflate until balloon is overinflated and fails. Boom. Person is awake.

Now commence with the funny high-pitched voices.

fractalVisionz


quality posts: 4 Private Messages fractalVisionz

Helium vs. A Pretzel from the Mall in terms of Waking Someone Up

Helium is lighter than air, and a pretzel is not. The function of waking someone is up, not down. Therefore, Helium is the only way to wake someone up, whereas appending a pretzel to someone's body, internal or external, will do nothing but weight them down. Also, down is related to deep, as in deep sleep.

Advantage:

Source: http://chemwiki.ucdavis.edu/@api/deki/files/6444/=He.png

dukeofwulf


quality posts: 7 Private Messages dukeofwulf
Josephus wrote:

I give you...an amateur 'model' POPPING HELIUM BALLOONS while trying to be sexy, SFW, I think. how could this not wake you up?



That is... just awful. Shame on you, sir. Frowny-face emoticon.

davep1


quality posts: 4 Private Messages davep1

In your analysis of wax versus lava, you forgot one thing: wax floats. After doing splendidly on the running and biking legs, you dive in the water, laughing at the competitors struggling to get out of their shoes when suddenly your laughter is choked off by the water entering your mouth as the soles of your feet float to the surface, giving your head a close encounter with Davy Jones.