WootBot


quality posts: 14 Private Messages WootBot

Staff


 
Here at the Sean Adams University of Business Management Development Leadership, we specialize in preparing you for the world by giving you a hot degree. But that’s not just all! We also know a thing or two about living in a world of hot degrees, and not just the paper kind! The temperature kind too!

Degrees, in the temperature sense, represent how tall the red stuff (Mercury) gets inside a thermometer. Think about it this way: the hotter it gets, the closer Mercury wants to be to the ceiling fan. But hot weather isn’t all fun and growing. No, heat can be dangerous. That’s why you need to educate yourself, or better yet, let us educate yourself with these answers to frequently asked questions about heat!

Where does heat come from?

In the summer, heat comes from the sun. In the winter, heat comes from heaters. Despite their more straightforward name, the sun actually came out before heaters. Still, no matter how many times I propose it, no one seems to think it’s a good idea to rename the sun, “Heater Classic.”

How do I keep cool when it’s really hot outside?

See, your problem is that you’re “outside” when really your best bet is to stay inside. But even then it’s not that simple; some inside places are better for keeping cool than others. For example, inside an air-conditioned room? Good! Inside a pizza oven? Bad! Not sure how to tell the difference between good and bad. No problem! There’s a simple test! First, find a place that looks comfortable and leave some cookie dough there. Then, leave for about 15 minutes. If you come back and it’s still dough, you’re good. If you come back and it’s cookies, that spot is too hot.


Speaking of keeping stuff cool, my refrigerator is cold inside but hot out of the back. What’s up with that?

It’s a long standing fact of science that when you put food into something, it has to blow hot air out of its backside. The refrigerator is no exception. See, fridge! Just like I told you! YOU’RE NO BETTER THAN ME!

The other day my coworkers asked me to “go out to heat” with them. What does that mean?

I think you misunderstood them. Your coworkers were just asking you to go out to lunch.

Oh, so they weren’t asking me to go do drugs with them in the parking lot?

No.

So I probably shouldn’t have responded, “No thanks, CRACK HEADS!”?

Yeah, that might not have been the best way to answer.

Well, I haven’t had lunch yet today. Would you like to go out to heat with me?

No, it's not that you can say "go out to heat" instead of... you know what? Never mind. You're just not hearing yourself.

So, those are most of the basic questions people have about heat, but maybe you’ve got another one you need answer. Well, go ahead. Post it in the comments and I’ll give it a look! 
 

abitterwoman


quality posts: 27 Private Messages abitterwoman

What if you come back to the place you put the dough in and you don't find cookies, but the dough is super sweaty. Is that just sort of a judgement call? My skin is the color of dough and I don't want to be called "sweaty dough girl."

"Computers don't make errors. What they do, they do on purpose."

inkycatz


quality posts: 105 Private Messages inkycatz
abitterwoman wrote:What if you come back to the place you put the dough in and you don't find cookies, but the dough is super sweaty. Is that just sort of a judgement call? My skin is the color of dough and I don't want to be called "sweaty dough girl."


I'd say that's "warm", carry a fan just in case. edit: Not a box fan, a hand fan.

I'm just hanging out, really.

ibwhoub


quality posts: 0 Private Messages ibwhoub

Hmm. I thought you were talking about the grease. Guess I'll be ok as long as I don't slip on it.

accretion


quality posts: 0 Private Messages accretion

What temperature do I need to set my oven to for it to produce a Big ol' Celebration using the power of "HEAT!"?

gregwarnert


quality posts: 0 Private Messages gregwarnert

Mmm... Cookies.

RogerRabt


quality posts: 0 Private Messages RogerRabt

"red stuff" is alcohol. Mercury is silver and pretty rare in thermometers these days.

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dseanadams


quality posts: 0 Private Messages dseanadams
abitterwoman wrote:What if you come back to the place you put the dough in and you don't find cookies, but the dough is super sweaty. Is that just sort of a judgement call? My skin is the color of dough and I don't want to be called "sweaty dough girl."


If the dough is super sweaty, it means it's just nervous. So don't eat cookies made from that dough, because, seriously, what is it hiding???

accretion wrote:What temperature do I need to set my oven to for it to produce a Big ol' Celebration using the power of "HEAT!"?


I would look for a temperature setting called "overrated and ultimately disappointing."