WootBot


quality posts: 14 Private Messages WootBot

Staff

GREENBELT, Md. (UPI) -- NASA says its next science mission, to study two giant donuts of electrified gas known as plasma that surround Earth, will launch in August.

Scientists used the event as a chance to remind everyone: donuts have a long pointed snout, while the snout of doughnuts are wider and flat.

 

Donuts

 

 

LAS VEGAS (UPI) -- Las Vegas police said they arrested a man accused of breaking into a neighbor's home and attacking him with a guitar and a toilet bowl lid.

And in a related story, information on the new Tenacious D video has leaked!

FRESNO, Calif. (UPI) -- Raisins may provide the same workout boost as sports chews, a study funded by the California Raisin Marketing Board suggests.

The completely unbiased study also found that raisins made you smarter, sexier, and more likely to be invited to the very best parties with those rock stars you like the most.

 

Raisin

 

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. (UPI) -- A Florida psychiatrist said the restaurant he opened in May is staffed by former drug addicts and psychiatric patients.

Or, in other words, it's just like every other restaurant.

GRAVESEND, England (UPI) -- Police in England said a 17-year-old boy was arrested for attempting to snatch the Olympic torch while it was being carried through his town.

According to custom, the boy will now be chained to a rock where eagles will come every day to devour his liver, which will then heal, so the process can begin again.

EL PASO, Texas (UPI) -- Television actor Sherman Hemsley has died at his home in El Paso, Texas, police told TMZ Tuesday. He was 74.

Theologians are unsure, but signs say the actor is most likely to have moved on up.

Donuts from Jilted Ballerina and Raisin from xcorex are used under a Creative Commons License



Quality Posts


DaveInSoCal


quality posts: 15 Private Messages DaveInSoCal

"This completely unbiased study..."

Awesome

All my posts are Quality Posts. Even when they're not.

donthaveone


quality posts: 0 Private Messages donthaveone

Don't forget the canines that overlap outside the lower jaw for donuts...

DennisG2010


quality posts: 19 Private Messages DennisG2010
According to custom, the boy will now be chained to a rock where eagles will come every day to devour his liver, which will then heal, so the process can begin again.



The only reason I get that reference is that I read a bunch of (tediously) in-depth analyses of the movie.

orphaeus


quality posts: 2 Private Messages orphaeus

Keyword being "former". This is what differentiates the restaurant from fast food.

"You win some, you lose some, and some get rained out, but you gotta suit up for them all."
J. Askenberg

jai151


quality posts: 8 Private Messages jai151
DennisG2010 wrote:The only reason I get that reference is that I read a bunch of (tediously) in-depth analyses of the movie.



Movie? What movie? I just know it was Prometheus' punishment in Greco-Roman mythology for stealing fire from the gods and giving it to man

orphaeus wrote:Keyword being "former". This is what differentiates the restaurant from fast food.



Fast food? Every restaurant worker, fast food or not, I've ever known falls into one or both of the categories without the "former"

dwayri


quality posts: 6 Private Messages dwayri

I love it when Woot Weads the Wire, but I am a little surprised you went with 100 other media outlets and did the obvious joke with the death of Sherman Hemsley. It is a good joke, but just too easy.

I would have turned the 100 other media outlets into the joke: "For better or for worse, Sherman Hemsley's life work has been reduced to a single song sound byte." Something to that effect.

Slydon


quality posts: 15 Private Messages Slydon

Staff

dwayri wrote:I love it when Woot Weads the Wire, but I am a little surprised you went with 100 other media outlets and did the obvious joke with the death of Sherman Hemsley. It is a good joke, but just too easy.

I would have turned the 100 other media outlets into the joke: "For better or for worse, Sherman Hemsley's life work has been reduced to a single song sound byte." Something to that effect.



That's actually a fair comment, and you're right. I blame Woot-off exhaustion, but that's still not an excuse for not trying to put my own spin on things. Thanks for your honesty and thanks for reading.

Hi, I'm one of the writers. My powers are limited but I'll do what I can.

DennisG2010


quality posts: 19 Private Messages DennisG2010
jai151 wrote:Movie? What movie? I just know it was Prometheus.



Bingo.

jai151


quality posts: 8 Private Messages jai151
DennisG2010 wrote:Bingo.



Ah. Yeah, missed that. Probably cause I had no interest in that movie

Slydon


quality posts: 15 Private Messages Slydon

Staff

jai151 wrote:Ah. Yeah, missed that. Probably cause I had no interest in that movie



It's a very pretty movie! I'd recommend you go, and then just sit in the back and wear headphones and listen to some good music. You'll avoid a lot of the issues with the plot that way and probably end up having a great time.

Hi, I'm one of the writers. My powers are limited but I'll do what I can.