Joel The Great


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Joel The Great

Dear Woot,

I remember when I first saw you in 2004, you were so different from the others, so clean, slender, and beautiful. I flirted with you for a while and finally was able to join you in January of 2005. On that day you were extremely exhausted, running one of your crazy Woot-Offs. You came to me with an Ice Cream maker, and I just couldn't resist your charm (or low price).

Unfortunately when I met you I was a wreck. I had a very crappy job, and couldn't afford to take you out as often as I wished. But we made it work, we had our late nights together. Reading great product descriptions into the wee hours. Watching you shake your goods during Woot-Off after Woot-Off, where all I could do is sit, watch, and wish.

After a few years I got my life together and was able to treat you the way you deserved. And in 2007 you gave me a special gift. The Screaming Woot! Monkey. It was a sign that we would go places we'd always dreamed, and buy crap we've always wanted.

I spent the next few years courting you, and buying lavish items and fabulous junk with my new found disposable income. But I always, ALWAYS, would get Monkeys from you. They are so cute and fluffy, and fly really far.

Our relationship was great, and continued to grow until that fateful day in June of 2010. I came home and found you having coffee with some guy. You tried to tell me that he meant nothing, and that nothing would change between you and me, and he was just a friend. Since I knew him personally, I trusted you, and was okay with you hanging out with Amazon. But in the back of my mind I was worried.

About six months after that, you started getting weird. You started treating me like I was stalking you. You saw my huge Woot Monkey collection and cornered me to ask me about it: http://www.woot.com/blog/post/ten-questions-about-monkeys

Yes I have a lot of Monkeys, in fact the last count I did was somewhere around 120+. They were the only thing that comforted me while you'd go out to lunch with Amazon while I was at work. They were my true friends!

From there our relationship has been going downhill. We don't talk as often, our late nights became few and far apart. Then you broke tradition.

On April Fools day, you'd normally pull some clever joke that would make me laugh, and would be all sorts of fun. Not this year. This year you didn't do anything.

Then in June, you basically disappeared for almost a whole day, finally showing up with a facelift. You say it was something you always wanted to do, but I knew... It was a gift from Amazon. Instead of accepting you as the beautiful thing you were, it was changing you. You were always beautiful to me, you didn't need to change...but you did. For HIM.

I tried to accept your new look, but it changed who you were. Your Woot-Offs became tamer and hard to watch. Your Brigade of Campers#39;s became less exciting and more depressing, and you changed the last thing I loved about you. Your Monkeys. No longer having a cool hat, or awesome Velcro hands, they just have a stupid mask. Like they are ashamed to be identified while bearing your logo (Or should I just call it Amazon's logo now?).

I tried to accept the new monkeys. I really did. But they can't be easily placed on my shrine/tower. It's obvious you did this to let me know you thought I was being creepy, and to attached. I get it. But couldn't you just talk to me? Instead of humiliate me in front of my friends?

I can't take it anymore. I know you an Amazon are a couple now, even if you try to hide it and deny it. I know those bruises you got where from him..."fell down the stairs" my @$$. If you want to be with Amazon so bad, fine, I'm not going to stop you, but you can consider our relationship done.

I'll still try to be friendly to you though. I'll check in on you from time to time, but I'm not going to take any more of your monkeys, and I definitely will not be kept up late by your flashing lights and siren's call of a Woot-Off.

We're done. We had a good run, but I can't stand looking at you after knowing what he (Amazon) has done to you.

-Joel The Great

P.S. Anyone want to buy 120+ Woot Monkeys?

P.P.S. Sorry for the long post.

Moueska


quality posts: 54 Private Messages Moueska

re: Monekey collection -

PICS OR IT'S NOT TRUE.

Srsly, pics on the monkey thread? Repeat your offer and you'll have a taker in no time. Your loss, though. I'm still waiting for the monkeys in the business suits.\\

Moueska


quality posts: 54 Private Messages Moueska

Also, I love how many people are feminizing the website. It started as a mostly geek website, when geeks tended to be mostly dudes. So it's a dude.

And now it wears business casual m-f, except on tech.woot instead of jeans and gently stained white tees with Hawaiian shirts.

I'm not saying it's good or bad. I'm just starting to find the repetitive "Outdoor Mulch For Gardening YOU'RE A HARLOT" posts kind of sickening now. More so than the website change, which was a bit of a shock, but the shock's wearing off.

Joel The Great


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Joel The Great
Moueska wrote:re: Monekey collection -

PICS OR IT'S NOT TRUE.

Srsly, pics on the monkey thread? Repeat your offer and you'll have a taker in no time. Your loss, though. I'm still waiting for the monkeys in the business suits.\\



Picture from January of this year:

https://dl.dropbox.com/u/3243705/woot-tower.jpg

dontwantaname


quality posts: 13 Private Messages dontwantaname

Volunteer Moderator

Keep the monkeys. It wasn't their fault.

WE LURV YOU TOO! Dork!!!
No greater love is lost than that not shared.

baybei


quality posts: 49 Private Messages baybei

*drools*

Monkeys.

I love the collection, not sure I could afford to buy it off you though. I think you should keep them, they should still be your monkey tower after all!

computermd82


quality posts: 31 Private Messages computermd82

It appears Woot has heard the cries of the masses, and the screams of the monkeys:

The REAL monkeys are back!

http://www.woot.com/plus/2012-woot-monkey-games-1

It may not change the other issues for you, but it shows that Woot is listening

V'Owl Birthday of Celebrations GIVEAWAY!!!!
"And the man in the rain picked up his bag of secrets, and journeyed up the mountainside, far above the clouds. And nothing was ever heard from him again, except for the sound of Tubular Bells."

theoneill555


quality posts: 56 Private Messages theoneill555

As a total monkey fanatic(I think my count is near 350), I could never give up my monkeys. But, if you have the original red in your collection, I know someone who would be interested in purchasing it/them.

That's O'neill with two L's *holds up three fingers*

ThunderThighs


quality posts: 565 Private Messages ThunderThighs

Staff

computermd82 wrote:It appears Woot has heard the cries of the masses, and the screams of the monkeys:

The REAL monkeys are back!

http://www.woot.com/plus/2012-woot-monkey-games-1

It may not change the other issues for you, but it shows that Woot is listening



Believe me, we've been passing on the feedback. It just takes a while to work through existing inventory and get in the new.



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knavekid


quality posts: 1 Private Messages knavekid

Woot has clearly jumped the shark. They haven't featured a bare hard drive in almost two years. The main page used to load quickly and all needed information was instantly at hand. Now you must click on links to open different slow-loading pages to see the detailed information.

I used to stay up late to check the Woot before going to bed here on the east coast so I could get in on any great deals before it sold out. Now I don't bother and will check later in the day if I happen to think of it.

The excitement of "HERE'S THE DEAL, GET IT IF YOU CAN!" has been replaced with "Here's a bunch of different things that you might be able to save a few bucks on."

Like the OP, I will be checking in from time to time, but without the sense of urgency or commitment there once was.

PD2


quality posts: 0 Private Messages PD2

Okay, so I'm not as eloquent but here are my comments.

We now have Woot, Tech, Home, Sport, Kids, Shirt, Wine, and Sellout! Whew!!! While I get the need for other sites, can we please go back to posting cool stuff on Woot and posting the stuff for homes, like the irobot, vacuum cleaners, etc, on the Home site? I LOVE Woot and want to continue checking it every day, and seeing what cool things are available. However, I'm really disappointed that most of the time when I go to the main Woot site I see home-related things. I am not, and will probably never be, interested in an irobot for my floors.

Please return to the cool postings on Woot and leave the rest of it to the other separate sites. I have been a Woot customer for a very long time and have referred a number of my family, friends, and colleagues to your site; however, the way it is now, I've cut back on who I refer as they don't see the cool items that used to be posted before all of the other sites opened up.

richmondhokie


quality posts: 2 Private Messages richmondhokie
Joel The Great wrote:Dear Woot,

I remember when I first saw you in 2004, you were so different from the others, so clean, slender, and beautiful. I flirted with you for a while and finally was able to join you in January of 2005. On that day you were extremely exhausted, running one of your crazy Woot-Offs. You came to me with an Ice Cream maker, and I just couldn't resist your charm (or low price).

Unfortunately when I met you I was a wreck. I had a very crappy job, and couldn't afford to take you out as often as I wished. But we made it work, we had our late nights together. Reading great product descriptions into the wee hours. Watching you shake your goods during Woot-Off after Woot-Off, where all I could do is sit, watch, and wish.

After a few years I got my life together and was able to treat you the way you deserved. And in 2007 you gave me a special gift. The Screaming Woot! Monkey. It was a sign that we would go places we'd always dreamed, and buy crap we've always wanted.

I spent the next few years courting you, and buying lavish items and fabulous junk with my new found disposable income. But I always, ALWAYS, would get Monkeys from you. They are so cute and fluffy, and fly really far.

Our relationship was great, and continued to grow until that fateful day in June of 2010. I came home and found you having coffee with some guy. You tried to tell me that he meant nothing, and that nothing would change between you and me, and he was just a friend. Since I knew him personally, I trusted you, and was okay with you hanging out with Amazon. But in the back of my mind I was worried.

About six months after that, you started getting weird. You started treating me like I was stalking you. You saw my huge Woot Monkey collection and cornered me to ask me about it: http://www.woot.com/blog/post/ten-questions-about-monkeys

Yes I have a lot of Monkeys, in fact the last count I did was somewhere around 120+. They were the only thing that comforted me while you'd go out to lunch with Amazon while I was at work. They were my true friends!

From there our relationship has been going downhill. We don't talk as often, our late nights became few and far apart. Then you broke tradition.

On April Fools day, you'd normally pull some clever joke that would make me laugh, and would be all sorts of fun. Not this year. This year you didn't do anything.

Then in June, you basically disappeared for almost a whole day, finally showing up with a facelift. You say it was something you always wanted to do, but I knew... It was a gift from Amazon. Instead of accepting you as the beautiful thing you were, it was changing you. You were always beautiful to me, you didn't need to change...but you did. For HIM.

I tried to accept your new look, but it changed who you were. Your Woot-Offs became tamer and hard to watch. Your Bundles of Crayons#39;s became less exciting and more depressing, and you changed the last thing I loved about you. Your Monkeys. No longer having a cool hat, or awesome Velcro hands, they just have a stupid mask. Like they are ashamed to be identified while bearing your logo (Or should I just call it Amazon's logo now?).

I tried to accept the new monkeys. I really did. But they can't be easily placed on my shrine/tower. It's obvious you did this to let me know you thought I was being creepy, and to attached. I get it. But couldn't you just talk to me? Instead of humiliate me in front of my friends?

I can't take it anymore. I know you an Amazon are a couple now, even if you try to hide it and deny it. I know those bruises you got where from him..."fell down the stairs" my @$$. If you want to be with Amazon so bad, fine, I'm not going to stop you, but you can consider our relationship done.

I'll still try to be friendly to you though. I'll check in on you from time to time, but I'm not going to take any more of your monkeys, and I definitely will not be kept up late by your flashing lights and siren's call of a Woot-Off.

We're done. We had a good run, but I can't stand looking at you after knowing what he (Amazon) has done to you.

-Joel The Great

P.S. Anyone want to buy 120+ Woot Monkeys?

P.P.S. Sorry for the long post.



This is absolutely one of the best posts characterizing woot and how it has changed........you should be a woot writer - but going to work for the "man" that stole your "woman" would be stooping too low to try to gain her favor back.....

Joel The Great


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Joel The Great
richmondhokie wrote:This is absolutely one of the best posts characterizing woot and how it has changed........you should be a woot writer - but going to work for the "man" that stole your "woman" would be stooping too low to try to gain her favor back.....



Thank you for your positive feedback. I am proud of that piece of writing. Usually my attempts at humor fall flat.




[MOD: Sorry, no advertising personal sales on our forums.]

Joel The Great


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Joel The Great
Joel The Great wrote:[MOD: Sorry, no advertising personal sales on our forums.]



Well...I'm not advertising anything...but I did hear a rumor that there is a crazy guy who has 129 things on this site that is like an Electronic harbor...kind of like a Bay...of the E variety.

sassymango


quality posts: 2 Private Messages sassymango

@Joel The Great
that was an awesome post

@richmondhokie
I agree

thumperchick


quality posts: 239 Private Messages thumperchick
Joel The Great wrote:Thank you for your positive feedback. I am proud of that piece of writing. Usually my attempts at humor fall flat.



You should be proud- that was funny and honest. A hard combination to do without being tasteless, and you did well.

Joel The Great wrote: I did hear a rumor that there is a crazy guy who has 129 things on this site that is like an Electronic harbor...kind of like a Bay...of the E variety.



Oh, you mean like, Pirate Bay?