WootBot


quality posts: 15 Private Messages WootBot

Staff

You know what sucks about cars? They don’t disappear when you stop driving them. No, like big jerks, they just sit there and wait for you to find a place to park them. With one car, this isn’t a big deal; you’ve got tons of options. The street, a garage, a driveway, a neighbor’s yard, the sidewalk, all those places just waiting to filled by your automobile!

But when you’re a business and all your employees have cars, then it gets complicated. It’s up to you as the business owner to provide them with a place to leave all their cars. This area is traditionally called a “parking lot” because there’s a lot of thought that goes into each one.

That’s right: you can’t just be like, “Parking lot’s anywhere behind that tree over there.” You need to be really thorough. You need to inspect the land you want to put the parking lot on so you know for certain it’ll work. Not sure what to look for? Well, no worries! We here at The Sean Adams University of Business Management Development Leadership can help. Here are some red flags that will reveal your spot’s poor parking potential:

Lava: Sure in a perfect world, you could set it up so that lava is allowed in certain spaces and cars in others! But no! That’d be too much to ask of that molten hot diva! It wants to go wherever it wants, whenever it wants! So lame!

Actually not land but a cloud: You just went on a long business trip and now you’re flying home. On your final approach, you see this lush white field with nothing on it and you think, “Oh man, there’s so much space for parking up there!” But there’s really not. Because that’s not land, it’s a cloud. And you can’t pave on water vapor (yet!).
 



Booby traps: This one’s tough, because if the booby traps are really good, you won’t be able to tell that they’re there until it goes off. That’s why you need to use one of your disposable cars and disposable employees to test every parking lot you build.

Someone else’s parking lot: You know that thing you’d do with a baseball bat, where one person would put his hand on it, and then the other person would put his hand on top of that, and so on and so on until you got to the end of the bat and whoever was on top won? You can’t do that with parking lots.

Cliffs: Okay, so it’s more complicated than “no cliffs.” The top ledge part of the cliff is sorta okay for a parking lot, but the cliff part is a no go. Not sure which part you’re on? No worries: there’s an easy test. Are you standing? Then you’re on the ledge part! Are you falling? That’s the cliff part. Don’t try to pave that part.

Those are our parking tips! Now, if you've got any of your own, share them in the comments!

tcolburn64


quality posts: 0 Private Messages tcolburn64

Is there any reason you couldn't set up your lot, not in "a" cloud, but in "the" cloud? I understand there's nearly unlimited space, and the first chunk is usually free.

bblhed


quality posts: 9 Private Messages bblhed

Having just gone through a full parking lot rehab where I work I can tell you that you have no clue as to how complex a problem parking is. There are 300 people that work here, everyone drives, and we had to park every one of those cars every day while leaving huge sections of parking lot clear to be graded or paved. You would think a 60 X 100 parking lot is a simple thing, but paving it so that it does not become a pond every time it rains is an art.

offmyjacks


quality posts: 0 Private Messages offmyjacks

I've heard you can minimize the number of cars that need to be in a parking lot by setting up a car pool for your employees. The key is finding a big enough one, preferably Olympic sized or bigger.

jai151


quality posts: 8 Private Messages jai151
bblhed wrote:Having just gone through a full parking lot rehab where I work I can tell you that you have no clue as to how complex a problem parking is. There are 300 people that work here, everyone drives, and we had to park every one of those cars every day while leaving huge sections of parking lot clear to be graded or paved. You would think a 60 X 100 parking lot is a simple thing, but paving it so that it does not become a pond every time it rains is an art.



It's not really that hard, just basic physics. The Romans had it mastered over 2,000 years ago

Da5id


quality posts: 5 Private Messages Da5id

A walk in the park! Park the cars in the parks, front lawns, anywhere there is grass. Water sprinklers will provide brushless car washes. A big market for parking lot grass will emerge. No more upkeep – parking lot grass can maintain itself and fill in potholes and stuff. Grass in all the roads and freeways. Pave everything with grass like that Carole King, Carly Simon, or John Baez song except in reverse. Get rid of urban heat islands. Plant trees with treehouses for kids to play in the parking parks. This already works in England with their car parks! I heart parking parks!!!

bblhed


quality posts: 9 Private Messages bblhed
jai151 wrote:It's not really that hard, just basic physics. The Romans had it mastered over 2,000 years ago



Watch someone grade a 60 X 100 parking lot that used to be a lake with two bulldozers over a 4 hour period, then look at the results after the lot is paved and it is pouring rain then tell me its simple. It is an art.

Ryguy1788


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Ryguy1788

Yeah, I could make a small parking lot in a day with a friends help for sure if I really wanted to. However, there is no way I could make a parking garage! That would be dope if I could though.

whatsupchuck


quality posts: 0 Private Messages whatsupchuck

The "lot of thought" bit was clever but incorrect. The "lot" in parking lot comes from the same latin root as "lottery" because there is always an element of chance and often a ticket involved.

My favorite parking lot maneuver is the "pull through", where you cross over the center line and end up facing outward in the next aisle over. This was especially effective for my 1965 Rambler American that suffered from the lack of a working reverse gear. If I were to design a parking lot, all the spaces would be pull through spaces.