WootBot


quality posts: 15 Private Messages WootBot

Staff

There are plenty of places on Woot where you can find helpful information. This is not one of those places. Every week we will be comparing 3 pairs of things that shouldn’t be compared using this formula: Unrelated Thing X vs. Unrelated Thing Y in terms of Function Z. Facts will be misunderstood, overlooked, or changed for the sake of the argument. Enjoy.

 

1. Cinder Blocks vs. Iguanas in terms of Shipping and Receiving

You can’t train a cinder block to ship or receive. It’s just not in their nature, because, you know, they’re not living creatures. They’re blocks. Now, considering that iguanas are living creatures, you might think that they WOULD be trainable. You’d be wrong. And it’s for that reason that cinder blocks get the advantage here; you’ll just put them aside and get on with your day, without spending valuable time and energy trying to get them to help you out.

Advantage:


Cinder Blocks

2. Cookie Making Skills vs. Efficiency in terms of Sculpting a Bust

Efficiency usually wins, but not when you're doing something arty like sculpting a bust. Art’s all about making mistakes and experimenting. You don’t need to get things done quickly. You need to get things done in the way that feels right. Kinda like how, when you’re making cookies, sometimes you just need to ignore the recipe and add as many chocolate chips as you want. Which is always as many as you have, by the way.

Advantage:


Cookie Making Skills

3. Mookie vs. Blaylock in terms of Finding the Meaning of Life

It has been said that when Mookie meets the Blaylock on the hardwood, only then can we truly understand our purpose. That’s why people who were Atlanta Hawks fans in the 90s seem so calm and smug all the time.

Advantage:

Mookie Blaylock


Now, to name last week’s Rebuttal of the Week: user ludocdoc gives a quick and simple reason why rigatoni is better than broad shoulders in terms of sailing the high seas:

Pirate ships are cramped. When there isn't wind you have to row. A bunch of guys have to sit side by side to work the oars. It's cramped. Broad shoulders make pirates bump into their neighbors. That leads to fights, which leads to mutiny. Shiver Me timbers. Everybody likes pasta. Advantage: rigatoni.

Who can argue with that? Well, no one. Because those aren’t the rules. The rules say you argue with ME! So go ahead: let me have it in the comments section and I just might decide I like ya next week!

Photos: "Concrete / Cinder Block / Brick Tower" by flickr user, 666isMONEY ☮ ♥ & ☠; "Cookie tray" by flickr user, futureshape; "Atlanta Hawks" by flickr user, Priscilla Velez. All used under a Creative Commons License.
 

dukeofwulf


quality posts: 7 Private Messages dukeofwulf

1. Cinder Blocks vs. Iguanas in terms of Shipping and Receiving

Iguanas are far smaller and lighter than cinder blocks. In fact, you could probably fit any iguana in a poster tube; maybe even multiple iguanas. This saves on postage.

Advantage: Iguanas.

asmoran


quality posts: 0 Private Messages asmoran

Okay, so on the Cinder Blocks vs. Iguanas: I actually agree with you, but you have the reasoning all wrong!

You see, shipping and receiving isn't really about the shipping, nor is it much about the receiving. It's about the stacking. You see, you have to stack things in the truck to ship them, and you have to stack things in the warehouse to receive them. So ultimately, it comes down to "how well does this stack".

Now, one of the amazing coincidences of the universe is that cinder blocks are exceptionally easy to stack. Iguanas, well, not so much. The best you can hope for with iguanas is a pile, and even then they don't stay in a pile for very long.

Advantage: Cinder Blocks

jai151


quality posts: 8 Private Messages jai151

"2. Cookie Making Skills vs. Efficiency in terms of Sculpting a Bust

Efficiency usually wins, but not when you're doing something arty like sculpting a bust. Art’s all about making mistakes and experimenting. You don’t need to get things done quickly. You need to get things done in the way that feels right. Kinda like how, when you’re making cookies, sometimes you just need to ignore the recipe and add as many chocolate chips as you want. Which is always as many as you have, by the way."

While I agree with your conclusion, I disagree with your reasoning. You see, baking is not an art, but a science. Things must be measured exactly or they will not actually make a cookie.

Therefore, the only freedom you are allowed in cookie-making is the shape of your product. As such, your cookie-making skills have imbued you with years of dough-sculpting experience, something easily transferable to your bust-sculpting task.

lstaff


quality posts: 203 Private Messages lstaff

MMMMMmmmmmmm, Cookies!!!


(about to break my Yom Kippur fast!!!)

fractalVisionz


quality posts: 4 Private Messages fractalVisionz

Right outcome, wrong reason:

Cinder Blocks vs. Iguanas in terms of Shipping and Receiving

Everyone knows cinder blocks are heavy and much heavier than iguanas. When you only shipping method is a trebuchet, cinder blocks will get the job done much better than light iguanas, and with less poop cleanup. Have a 46" television to launch, 10 cinder blocks should launch that thing into tomorrow, and a single cinder block will allow your customer to launch the money back to you. Did I mention that a few cinder blocks make a great receiving pen for air shipments?

Advantage:

Cinder blocks

Source: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_HBxEuAoz6uI/R1CrPeVvqBI/AAAAAAAABw8/EMg-ik5zvFU/s1600-R/trebuchetetc1129-4.jpg

fractalVisionz


quality posts: 4 Private Messages fractalVisionz
lstaff wrote:MMMMMmmmmmmm, Cookies!!!


(about to break my Yom Kippur fast!!!)



Sundown isn't for 2 more hours here... :-(

mossygreen


quality posts: 75 Private Messages mossygreen

This is the first week I have entirely agreed with your conclusions and reasoning. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but it's definitely a thing of some sort.

johnnyicemaker


quality posts: 1 Private Messages johnnyicemaker

While Iguanas, as you implied, aren't trainable, they do like food.
Step 1: Similar to a homing pigeon, strap a letter or package to the back of an Iguana.
Step 2: Prepare a nice salad at the place you want the delivery to arrive. Iguanas are herbivores, and love salad.
Step 3: Wait for Iguana to get hungry and search for food.
Step 4: Delivery.
Cinder Blocks do not eat, therefore will not search for food, and thus will not deliver packages.
Advantage: Homing Iguanas.