WootBot


quality posts: 14 Private Messages WootBot

Staff

This is it, you guys: my last Completely Unfair Comparisons post. It’s been a fun run, but I’m putting this blog feature to rest to focus on something new. Hence today’s only comparison:

A Car Alarm vs. A Bouquet of Flowers in terms of Saying Good Bye

When you hear a car alarm, you flinch. You move away from it if you can; if not, you wait for it to be turned off. When the noise goes away, you feel satisfied. Quiet seems more pleasant than before. Could it have felt this way if you had never heard the car alarm? Doubtful. Flowers are far sweeter. At least, to begin with. But they always end up dying in front of your eyes. By the time they’re nasty and wilted, you won’t remember how sweet they were. So, to sum this up: saying good bye with a car alarm = satisfaction. Saying good-bye with flowers = a slow, disappointing fade.

Advantage:


A Car Alarm

 

Just because we’re closing things out doesn’t mean I’m going to skip rebuttal of the week. No, that honor goes to mrosem14, who makes a good point as to why egg shells trump oyster shells in terms of lady-wooing hats:

I disagree with oysters v. egg shells. Oysters say "I have a lot of money, but I have erectile dysfunction and need to eat lots of oysters (an aphrodisiac)." Egg shells say "I am a nurturing provider, plus I have big muscles from lots of protein consumption. I am a strong but compassionate and gentle lover."

There you have it. Thanks to everyone who read and rebutted. Love you guys! Now, play me out, Wootbot!

Photo: Car Alarm, by Flickr user Icy Will, used under a Creative Commons License.

dukeofwulf


quality posts: 7 Private Messages dukeofwulf

At least we'll always have Woot Weads the Wire on Wednesdays...

Slydon


quality posts: 17 Private Messages Slydon

Staff

dukeofwulf wrote: At least we'll always have Woot Weads the Wire on Wednesdays...



Hey, Sean's not leaving the blog! He's just gonna make bad puns in a different way next week.

Hi, I'm one of the writers. My powers are limited but I'll do what I can.

vigilante1987


quality posts: 11 Private Messages vigilante1987

I'm going to go set off all the car alarms in the neighborhood: I'll really miss this blog.

pmillsrulz


quality posts: 6 Private Messages pmillsrulz

I will disagree with you one last time. A bouquet of flowers is better at saying goodbye; it's slow, wilt-y death is symbolic of loyalty to the ugly, brown, dried-out, stinky end. That's devotion, people. Devotion.

Thanks for the good times! Always enjoyed myself!

bpr2


quality posts: 181 Private Messages bpr2

Unless they're plastic flowers.

pmillsrulz wrote:I will disagree with you one last time. A bouquet of flowers is better at saying goodbye; it's slow, wilt-y death is symbolic of loyalty to the ugly, brown, dried-out, stinky end. That's devotion, people. Devotion.

Thanks for the good times! Always enjoyed myself!



that was fun while it lasted!