The build-your-own fajita fiesta this afternoon was an atrocity of genocidal proportions.
The fajitas were intended to act as a BALM on your frayed nerves and senses of selves during Q4. The party was supposed to be a FUN break from your benumbing routine. However, some people took WAY TOO MUCH CARNE ASADA, leaving nothing but FIESTA-ONIONS for others. Furthermore, the kitchen was left a mess the likes of which made history's bloodiest massacres appear HUMANE.
To address this embarrassing display of brutishness, the office will be holding a NUREMBERG-STYLE-TRIAL to ensure that those responsible for this atrocity are held accountable. The purpose of this trial is not only to ensure that the basic tenets of human decency are henceforth observed in this office, people, but that POSTERITY MAY LOOK BACK UPON THIS FAJITA FIESTA AS HUMANKIND'S MORAL NADIR.
Don't worry, this isn't a witch hunt, unless by witch you mean a CARNE-ASADA-COVETING MONSTER. You have nothing to worry about unless you were one of the dozens of sociopathic employees who cast off the very foundations of right conduct in your quest for sizzling beef and holy-moly-guacamole.
All employees are implicated. Prepare your defense by EOD. The trials start tomorrow.
- Bye -
Katherine Tull-Potts, BA
Photo courtesy of flickr user ginnerobot per the Creative Commons License.