Getting tired of all those other, realer CES covereages? That's because you're SMART. That's why you've turned to me, Scott Lydon, and my 2013 CES faux-verage. That's right, the week's almost over, but I've finally got a decent intro paragraph.


 

After the jump, you'll get to enjoy the very best lies and fabrications that come from the floor of CES. Just think, we're the only coverage brave enough to retract our statements before we even make them! See you inside?

As you know, our own Jason Toon's on the ground in Las Vegas but he's been so quite I'm assuming he's been embargoed. That means I'M the first on the biggest story of the year! Apple's taking things to the next level with the ultimate in coffee shop cool: iPads for Cupcakes!


 

Expect these tiny little tech explosions in the third quarter of 2014. Flavors include Chocolate Buttercream, Cherry Glaze (pictured) and a limited edition Red Velvet Wedding Cake.

From the up-and-coming side of CES, small company Lock-n-Spiel joins the new "cloud computing" craze with the Lock-n-Speil Digital Locker!


 

This locker has 802.11 b/g/n WiFi and comes in both combination and key-based models. Perfect for tech-friendly schools and gyms! Now being pushed in a locker won't be a heartbreaking rite of passage, it'll be a chance to watch your virtual collection of movies and MP3s!

And who's ready to finally give up on 3-D HDTV? The American public! Or so Temporal Televisions is hoping. Their new 4-D HDTV is still in the shop, but anyone visiting their 2"x2" booth near the men's restroom at the Days Inn was giving this lovely schematic explaining the technology.


 

Don't know about you, but I'm convinced. A great way to finally view all those classics of yesteryear as they were meant to be seen: again for the first time.

Keep watching our blog for CES coverage for the rest of the week. Also, guess what? The images above incorporate iPad Back from bfishadow and Cupcake from a_cinnamon_stick and Beam in front of lockers from crazytales562 and Sony KDL-40W2000 LCD HDTV (Logos) from William Hook are used under a Creative Commons License.