quality posts: 16 Private Messages WootBot


It seems like I face some new, frustrating dilemma almost every day. For a while, I tried to solve each one on my own, but I just can't do it anymore. I'm in over my head, and I need your help, Wooters! So, each week, I'm going to post a problem that I'm facing and you're going to help me solve it. But here's the catch: the solutions need to be puns. That's right: logic is secondary; puns are the primary goal here. I'll choose the best pun and announce it in next week's post.

THIS WEEK'S EPISODE: Literary Snack Food!

You guys, I'm throwing a party. The theme: literature! I've got the invites made up and the decorations picked out already; now, I  need to decide what to serve. I'm thinking simple snacks and dips with fun literary names. For example:

  • The Old Man and the Brie
  • Guac-work Orange
  • Don (mini) Quiche-otes

But I need more! So please, post some literary snack food puns in the comments and I'll choose my favorites next week!

New Year's Day winner (Booze for Athletes):Usually, I choose something from the blog comments, but this time I just have to give it to White Rushin from Daniel Beecher on Facebook! Thanks for playing, Facebookers!

Other Favorites: 5 hour Bender-gy from tequilagus; Team Spirit from cuppatea; and JoggerMeister from jingelin.

Photo by flickr user thomas pix, used under a Creative Commons License.

Quality Posts


quality posts: 0 Private Messages semmes

How about "Catcher on Rye"


quality posts: 1 Private Messages tedgellar

The Codyssey (by Roemer)
Dec-ham-eron (by Giovanni Foccaccio)
Canterberry Tales

And a Greek tragedy for Passover:
Leaven against Thebes


quality posts: 0 Private Messages jpherrell

You need some healthy Grapes of Wrath.


quality posts: 4 Private Messages ariellem

"A Little Plum Zest" (A Little Princess)
"Rye and Pear Juices" (Pride & Prejudice)
"Onion Papadum and the Forty Sieves" (Ali Baba & the Forty Thieves)
"The Pear Tart on the Ladyfingers" (The Portrait of a Lady)
"The Pear Tart and More Earl Grey" (The Portrait of Dorian Gray)

tons o' screaming monkeys (yay!)
almost no Box of Cobwebs in the past few years (boo :-< )


quality posts: 32 Private Messages llandar

Les Mozzerables


quality posts: 2 Private Messages jlavezzo

Fellowship of the Onion Rings (Fellowship of the Ring)
Pride and Apple Juice (Pride and Prejudice)
The Secret Garden Salad (The Secret Garden)
Tess of the Crudités (Tess of the D'Urbervilles)
A Study in Red Velvet Cake (A Study in Scarlet)
Charlie and the Chocolate Fountain (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory)


quality posts: 2 Private Messages jlavezzo

"Alice in Sliders-land" (Alice in Wonderland)


quality posts: 8 Private Messages jcolag

Lewis Carroll's Through the Cooking-Class, and What Alice Found (out) There
Jane Austen's Emma-Nems
Ian Fleming's Live and Let Diet
Harper Lee's To Grill a Mulard-Bird or, slightly more obscure but a better fit, To Grill a Mookee-Bird (duck and pigeon, respectively)
Mark Twain's Chocolate Pudd'nhead Wilson


quality posts: 1 Private Messages BrettunsVillage

Any good book shelf simply HAS to have 'War and Pizza' and 'To Have and Have More' (the inside story of all-u-can-eat buffets across this great land). For kids there's the old favorite 'Rin Tin Tuna' as well as the more modern 'Get in There and Make Me Some Bean Dip.' OK I made that last one up.



quality posts: 0 Private Messages tarataylor914

The Red Batch of Porridge
Paradise Lox
Last of the Ho-Ho-hicans
Crime and Knishment
Olives or Twix
Robinson Cruditésoe
The Count of Monte Cheetos
The LunchSack of Notre Dame
The Sirloined Letter
The Taming of the 'Shrooms


quality posts: 19 Private Messages Slydon


Tess of the Hors d'oeuvre Bill

Hi, I'm one of the writers. My powers are limited but I'll do what I can.


quality posts: 1 Private Messages XABenFV

Appetizer Focused:

Henry James's The Wings (Of A Dove)

Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Scones

Robert Heinlen's The Pu-Pu Masters

But if you wanted to make this a meal out:

Cormac McCarthy's No Country Buffet for Old Men

Capote's Breakfast at Tiffany's


quality posts: 22 Private Messages fgarriel

Barnaby Fudge (Barnaby Rudge)

Lord of the Pies (Lord of the Flies)

Of Ice & Gin (Of Mice & Men)

Cocktail Franks-enstein (Frankenstein)

Tortilla Chips & Taco Dip for Algernon (Flowers for Algernon)

The Pearl Onions (The Pearl)

Eat-This-Dip Rex (Oedipus Rex)


quality posts: 0 Private Messages tequilagus

50 Shades of Gravy
Clan of the Cave Pear
Adventures of CheeseBlock Holmes
Great Expectators *From Idaho of course
Dian-nesquiks *Those of us that are chocolatologists
Ham-let *Nough said
Crime and Refreshment
Stephen Kings The "Hotdog" Stand

And something that I actually serve my wife at home...
The Invisible Ham


quality posts: 10 Private Messages optia
jpherrell wrote:You need some healthy Grapes of Wrath.

How about Crepes of Wrath for breakfast, instead?


quality posts: 0 Private Messages gmalaise

Figcalzones (Jorge Luis Borges)
Pastramo (Joseph Conrad)
The Life of Gorgonzola and of Panofgruel (Rabelais)
Triscuit Candy (Lawrence Stern)
Njarlsburg's Saga
Decanter: Berry ales.
Invisible Ham
Absalami, Absalami
Lime and radishmints
Gypsy Salads
Sorbet: the Leek


quality posts: 17 Private Messages arismella

A Woman of Naan Importance

Thymus Marinated (Silas Marner? Come on.)


quality posts: 17 Private Messages arismella

The History of Tom Jones, a dumpling

O Paneers!
(Palak-Paneers, if you're so inclined.)


quality posts: 24 Private Messages skemmis

The Bun Also Rises


quality posts: 0 Private Messages funtechy

Spotted Moby Cranky Doodle Donkey


quality posts: 6 Private Messages RABBIDpanda

Where the Mild Things Are: mild green chillies, cut into rings, filled with cream cheese, wrapped in bacon


quality posts: 0 Private Messages babythomson

(for something you don't identify) Food the Obscure

Hamlets (small pork things)

Ketchup on the rye

you could make little cat-heads out of chicken and call them "The owl and the Fluttershycat"

The Taming of the Chew


quality posts: 122 Private Messages miken927


I Bet on Sky


quality posts: 0 Private Messages jquiaot

Cry, the Beloved Country (Gravy)
Call of the Wild (Mushroom)
Zorba the Greek (Salad)
Waiting for Gouda


quality posts: 16 Private Messages hardworkingjulie

*Who Moved My Cheese-ball
*Good-bye, Mr. Potato-Chips
*A Raisin-bread in the Sun
*The Iliad and the Hennessy
*50 Shades of Filet


quality posts: 2 Private Messages chipg

Bananas Karenina

Blintz and the Pauper

Portrait of a Ladyfinger

Hmmm, those all seem like desserts. Let me try again.


quality posts: 0 Private Messages kingsharon

Olive-Herb Twists (bread or puff pastry twists spread with tapenade and rosemary or sage)

Manzanillo de Tormes (garlic-infused stuffed olives)

A Wrinkle in Thyme (flatbread topped with parmesan cheese and thyme)

My Damned Ovary (spicy stuffed eggs)

The Thin Drum(sticks): Chicken wings with barbecue sauce)

Pommes Anna Karenina (potato souffle with caviar. Killer)

And served with:
One Hundred Beers of Solitude (served family style)


quality posts: 0 Private Messages hasanyoneseenme

Take any normal food combo (ie. chips and dip) and add "Still a better love story than Twilight."


quality posts: 0 Private Messages missnj

Catch Twenty-Blue (Cheese)
The Phantomatoes of the Opera
Dilliam Shakespears
Anne of Green Vegetables and Moby Dip


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Cornuto

First the newer ones...
Beer That's Foaming In Las Vegas
(Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas)
50 Caffe Au Lait
(50 Shades Of Grey)
Apples Mugged (cider)
(Atlas Shrugged)

Now the clasics...
Horde of the Fries
(Lord of the Flies)
To Fill A Squawking Bird(use stuffing)
(To Kill A Mockingbird)

Last minute bird entries...
Jonathan's Deep Fried Seagull
No Country For Old Hens


quality posts: 0 Private Messages babythomson

Quentin Crisps


quality posts: 0 Private Messages g82977

Moby NesQuik
King Beer
Cask of Amontillado (no pun needed)
Count the Monte Cristos (so many sammiches!)
Old Jeller (Jello)
Spam of Thrones


quality posts: 0 Private Messages jefslat

Slaughterhouse Five cold-cuts
Bridge mix of San Luis Rey
Charlie and the Chocolate Fondue
Of Rice and Fin sushi
Thus Spake Gorgonzola
Ethan Fromage
The Prime Rib of Miss Jean Brody


quality posts: 0 Private Messages McFortner

Lady Macbeth Fingers? Lady fingers with cherry/strawberry syrup.


quality posts: 1 Private Messages SQUITODEATHPILLS

Much Fondue About Nothing (Shakespeare)

Sausagehouse Pie (Vonnegut)

The Ketchup on the Rye (Salinger)

A Shish-Kebab's Guide to Grill Ecstasy (Adams)

The Bundt for No Leftovers

The French Onion Soup's Woman (Fowles)

Invisible Flan (Ellison)

The Love Sauce from J. Alfred's Pluots (Eliot)


quality posts: 59 Private Messages MathUhhhSaurus

A Game of Scones or Some Jam and Scones
A Dash of Wings
A Storm of Swordfish
A Feast of Crows
A Dream of Spring Rolls

Examine Bindle of Carrots.
What Bindle of Carrots?


quality posts: 0 Private Messages braudcms

The Life of Pie
or A Tale of Two Cheeses


quality posts: 4 Private Messages rdzek

War and Quiche


quality posts: 0 Private Messages keags

Say it Ain't Sloppy Joes
Pride and Pickle Juice
A Tale of Two Chillis
The Wonderful Wizard of Bacon (cuz ya gotta have Bacon!)
Green Deviled Eggs and Ham