quality posts: 16 Private Messages WootBot


Office people,

HR has updated the employee handbook for 2013. Notable changes include elimination of the profligate 401k matching program, heavier "handbook-stock" paper, and updates to the dress code. Since none of you will read anything that isn't SHOVED DOWN YOUR CRAW, here are the main points:

  • Female employees will now be expected to wear petticoats, full calico skirts and prairie headwear. Acceptable headwear include: poke bonnets and (in the out-of-doors) sun bonnets. ANY FEMALE EMPLOYEE SEEN WITHOUT APPROPRIATE FRONTIER HEADWEAR WILL IMMEDIATELY BE LOOKED ASKANCE AT.
  • Male employees, on the other hand, should appear as boyish, dewy-eyed male models from Italian designer photo spreads. This is a place of work, fellas, and if you don't show up with gaunt cheeks, little to no body hair, and an expression of waifish uncertainty, go ahead and clean out your desks.

  • Appearing as a rugged, hirsute male model from an American designer's photoshoot or even a square-jawed model from an Italian designer photoshoot is IN DIRECT BREACH OF THE EMPLOYEE DRESS CODE. This isn't rocket science, folks, it's basic professionalism.

I look forward to seeing you all next week. Very much.

- Bye -

Katherine Tull-Potts, BA
Office Manager

Quality Posts


quality posts: 54 Private Messages Moueska

NO! My precious Raoul will be out of dress code!


quality posts: 8 Private Messages jcolag

I decry this as sexism! Underneath the prairie headwear, any of these women could be sporting Santa-like beards, for all we know, but the menfolk need to clean up and look like...well, not human beings, exactly, but some vaguely-related hominid.

That probably also makes it racism. You surely remember how well "Dress Like an Australopithecus Day" went over with the locals. I had to mow down six protestors to get out of the parking lot, I still can't get bits of signage out of the grill, and nobody will let me submit vehicular homicide for reimbursement.


quality posts: 0 Private Messages jimsure

You people are not normal.........I LOVE IT!!!!


quality posts: 0 Private Messages cinnamonstick

Hmm. They sound normal to me.


quality posts: 3 Private Messages kf8vx

I note that no requirement to wear pants of any sort is included.


quality posts: 1 Private Messages nparus
kf8vx wrote:I note that no requirement to wear pants of any sort is included.

I find your lack of pants disturbing.



quality posts: 23 Private Messages marceepauff

I'm all about the bottom left... but without the Native American-esque 80s sweater.


quality posts: 0 Private Messages mooglie

when will you woot poke bonnets and or sun bonnets...I guess I might need at least one of each


quality posts: 13 Private Messages Tiahaar

AHAA! I have a coworker that looks just like the bearded guy...give me the top 3 handsome fellows anyday =)