Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.
UNITED NATIONS (UPI) -- People in developing countries are facing increasing health and environmental risks linked to exposure to mercury, a U.N. report says.
Even in the face of the report, however, many scientists still maintain that astrology has no effect on our lives.
MOSCOW (UPI) -- A giant cobra made out of cattle dung was created to entertain children in a Siberian village during the frigid winter months, its 52-year-old sculptor says.
The cobra joins the pantheon of such other beloved Siberian children's heroes, such as Dungy Brewster, the gang from Dungtales and various warriors from Dungeons and Dragons.
WASHINGTON (UPI) -- Canadian and European scientists say they've taken a lesson from fireflies to make a light-emitting diode more than 1 1/2 times as efficient as the original.
However the drawback is that the light begins to flash out of order almost immediately, and then the whole thing shuts down earlier than planned, except for one brief spark that's in theaters for like a week.
FAVERSHAM, England (UPI) -- Archaeologists in Britain say they have uncovered the remains of a 2,000-year-old Roman theater, thought to be the first ever discovered in the country.
The archaeologists were able to fix the date by looking at the prices on the menu at the concession stand, which appeared reasonable, logical, and obviously from a different era.
FREMONT, Calif. (UPI) -- A man who was spotted in Fremont, Calif., running around wearing just a Scooby-Doo mask told police he was just trying to show off his new body, officers said.
Eyewitnesses say he would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't've been for some meddling kids.
Mercury from The Brain Toad and The living dead advance from Benimoto are used under a Creative Commons License.