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When I received a spam email earlier this week, I did what I always do: I read it carefully, then re-read it to make sure I didn’t miss anything, then I printed and highlighted key points in case anyone asked for a summary.

It turns out the email was advertising a webinar about constructing a mobile strategy for your business. This made me panic a little bit. A competitor? Emailing me? Offering a class on something that I haven’t covered yet here at the Sean Adams University of Business Management Development Leadership?

Until now, that is! That’s right, folks! Here it is! Our hastily-assembled guide to mobilizing your business:

1. Put wheels on your business: You know how there are all those parking spaces at office buildings that say “Reserved for CEO” or “Reserved for Vice President of Finance”? Well, now you’ll need one that says, “Reserved for Business.” And it’ll have to be a really big spot.

2. Put wings on your business: You want your business to soar, figuratively speaking. Well, if you make it literally soar, there’s a good chance that the figurative way will follow (the figurative way being money)!

3. Put robot legs on your business: Your business can talk the talk, but can it walk the walk? That really depends on what kind of walk we’re talking about and how nice your business’s robot legs are. The point is, robot-legged businesses can walk, and that’s pretty awesome.

4. Make your business a drill that tunnels through the Earth: Is business heating up? Or is it just the molten core of the Earth? It’s both! (Or just the molten core of the Earth, if your business isn’t doing very well.)

5. Instead of putting your business in an office, put it in a train: first of all, when your business is in a train, you don’t need a parking lot because you can just pick up all of your employees at train stops, so that’s cool. Second, you get to wear a conductor hat and say fun train stuff like, “All aboard! Next stop, productivity!” without people calling you “the weird train guy” behind your back. Because think about it: when you’re on a train, everyone’s the weird train guy!

That’s what we got. What do you think? How would you mobilize your business?

Moueska


quality posts: 54 Private Messages Moueska

I'm a big fan of HUGE chicken legs, m'self.