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The problem with desks is that they can’t go with your employees to the bathroom or to lunch. And even if they could, they wouldn’t be able to bring their phones with them because of the wires. That means there are going to be times when your employees won’t be able to answer the phone, which means they’ll have to set up their voicemail.

But what should they say on their voicemail message? That’s where things get complicated. You want them to be kind, inviting, AND informative. That’s a lot for anyone who’s not super smart to tackle, so YOU should script it. Or, even better, you should let the Sean Adams University of Business Management Development Leadership script it for you!

Here’s what your employees should say on their voicemail away messages:

Thank you for calling [COMPANY’S NAME]. You’ve reached the desk of [EMPLOYEE’S NAME]. On the phone that is. You’re not standing at my desk right now. Or are you? I wouldn’t know. Because I’m not at my desk right now. That’s why you’re getting my voicemail right now.

To repeat that: I’m NOT at my desk. This is a voicemail recording. If you’ve been talking to me this whole time, stop. Instead, save those things, and say them after the beep. The beep will be the thing that sounds like this: [EMPLOYEE MAKES BEEP SOUND]. But that wasn’t the beep I was talking about. So don’t start talking yet.

When you leave your message, be sure to include your name, your number, and the purpose of your call. If you’re calling just to hear this voicemail message, that’s cool. Just let me know that in the message. I’ve got stats to track.

If you’re not sure if you’ve reached the right person, my name again is [EMPLOYEE’S NAME]. But you might know me by my nickname, [EMPLOYEE’S NICKNAME; IF EMPLOYEE DOES NOT HAVE NICKNAME, EMPLOYEE SHOULD CREATE ONE BY SHORTENING HIS/HER NAME BY TWO LETTERS AND ADD A ‘-Y’ TO THE END. EXAMPLE: EDWIN BECOMES EDWY], or by my mobster name [EMPLOYEE’S MOBSTER NAME; GO TO MOBSTERNAMEGENERATOR.COM TO GET A MOBSTER NAME].

When you’re leaving your message, please be sure to give as much detail as possible. For ease in understanding, I’d prefer if you express yourself in words and not sound effects, unless you’re really good at sound effects. If you think you’re really good at sound effects, please test your skills on someone else before leaving a sound effects message, because a lot of people think they’re good at sound effects, but then they do them and it’s all [EMPLOYEE MAKES BAD SOUND EFFECTS; TO REALLY GET THE POINT ACROSS, MAKE SURE THAT NO SOUND EFFECT IS RECOGNIZEABLE].

Go ahead, we’ll wait for you to test your skills on someone nearby [ALLOW TEN MINUTES AS THE CALLER TESTS HIS/HER SOUND EFFECT ABILITIES ON A PASSERBY].

Good! We hope you learned something about yourself there. Now please, leave your message in words or understandable sound effects after the beep. [END OF MESSAGE; EMPLOYEE SHOULD NOT MAKE A BEEP SOUND HERE OR ELSE CALLER WILL BEGIN TO TALK AFTER THAT BEEP AND THEN THE REAL BEEP WILL CUT HIM OFF AND HE’LL BE SUPER CONFUSED AND FRUSTRATED.]

That’s the voicemail message script we recommend, but if you’ve got anything to add, let us know in the comments.

BorisBadenov


quality posts: 0 Private Messages BorisBadenov

My favorite voice mail message ever (for home use, I wouldn't want to use it at work if there's any chance anyone higher up in the org chart would be calling) was:

"Hello?"

(pause)

"Hello??"

(pause again)

"Hello! I -- wait, I just remembered, I'm not here so I can't talk to you! Please leave a message."

A day or two after I put this on the machine my wife's best friend called, hung up after the message, then called again about four minutes later after trying to talk to the recording and left this message:

"[wife], this is [best friend]. I don't want to kill your husband any more."

Best. Response. Ever. Sadly my wife made me change the message after that. Well after all she is higher up in the org chart.