WootBot


quality posts: 14 Private Messages WootBot

Staff

People -

The fiscal year is coming to a close, and that means your health flex-spending accounts will reset on April 4th. You have two options for the following year:


  1. Take the standard coverage with a $3,500 deductible and $50 co-pay. (Health Provider Plan [HPP]) OR
  2. Spend $30,000,000 on healthcare-related costs before midnight on April 3rd to receive COMPLETE coverage for the following year. If you fail to spend all the money, you shall receive NO coverage. (Health Challenge Plan [HCP])

If you choose the "Health Spending Challenge" option, you must find a way to spend all the money on healthcare in such a way that you do not own anything at the end of the challenge period (i.e. you can't spend it all on Band-Aids, folks.) Also, you must get VALUE for everything you spend, so no paying off a podiatrist with an extra million here or there.

Some previous HCP winning strategies have included:

  • Hiring the medical staff of the New York Yankees to address a strained oblique.
  • Receiving cosmetic surgery to make one's face to match that of Hanna Barbara cartoon character "Huckleberry Hound."
  • Hiring Mt. Sinai hospital to perform a cell-by-cell health evaluation.
  • Running a campaign for Surgeon General (a presidentially-appointed position)

Please respond to HR (NOT ME!) by EOD to specify which plan you will be choosing. And if you have a dependent who needs care for a terminal condition that is not covered by either plan, consider taking a hospital hostage.

- Bye -

Katherine Tull-Potts, BA
Office Manager

jcolag


quality posts: 8 Private Messages jcolag

You got rid of the None of the Above Plan!? Oh, well. I assume I can still submit paperwork with collectable stamps, right?

vipermjb


quality posts: 40 Private Messages vipermjb

There aren't enough Brewster's Millions references these days...

andrewc


quality posts: 4 Private Messages andrewc

I've signed up for psychoanalysis sessions with the ghosts of Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung via their corporeal business partner on this earthly plane Madame Ursula Thimblerig.