WootBot


quality posts: 14 Private Messages WootBot

Staff

It's not often we meet a company that's lower in the alphabet than we are, so when our brothers-in-arms over at Zappos gave us a call on the Subsidiary Hotline and invited us to a doughnut-eating contest, what else could we do but say yes? And so, caution went out into the wind, everyone took off their belts and wore their sweatpants, and both teams ordered in several dozen Krispy Kreme doughnuts… each.


 

Could the hungry Texans at Woot.com defeat the combined forces of Zappos and Amazon Toronto at a doughnut eating contest? After the jump, it's TX vs LV with a little CA on the side! OUR FIRST INTERNATIONAL COMPETITION!!!

We should clear up a point before we start: Canadians are used to training on an entirely different style of doughnut so it was very kind of the Torontoians to risk the Southern-style sugar bomb that is a dozen Krispy Kremes. Never let it be said our neighbors to the North don't rise to every challenge!


 

On the day of the contest, the feud was at its boiling point. Timers were placed, doughnut boxes were laid, milk and water was made available.


 

The hungry gladiators entered the Doughnotoriums. Hands were shaken, fists were shaken, glares were exchanged, threats were finalized… and then, it was ON!


 

The individual styles became clear right from the start. Some, like Team Woot's Mark (above) went for an unorthodox "chop 'n stuff" method. Others, like Team Zappos's Austin (below) added a little taunting to every bite. Because it's true what they say. In competitive eating, 80% of the battle is fought in the mind.


 

The doughnuts were sweet and the contest was bitter. Even the hungriest can fall before a full box of Krispy Kremes. What sounds like a snack quickly turns into agony. Watch the video below and see how joy can sugar crash into pain.


 

In the end, 20 was the number to beat. Amazon Toronto had a four way tie of twenty doughnuts each, forcing a sudden death "Who can eat a single doughnut the fastest?" competition to pick the winner. Matt M. proved his endurance and speed, and was crowned the Canadian Champion. Over at Zappos, Ryan A. stole the Desert Cup with another twenty doughnuts (including milk!) and then possibly went out into the Nevada desert to die. Take a look at the standings here and you'll get the idea of how close it was.


 

But, as you can see, it was the Pac-Man of Woot.com who took home the overall crown. Our dear, sweet Ryan D. ate twenty-two doughnuts to lock down the prize and a 60% chance of a major medical situation. Well done, Ryan! We raise a doughnut to your achievement!


 

And well done to all our doughnut loving madmen, now joined together in a brotherhood that few of us will ever know. Best of luck at the gym next week, everyone. We're calculating you ate about 4000 calories each.


 

 

Some photos courtesy of Jia Tse over at Team Zappos. Thanks for sharing, Jia! All others from Woot's own Kenley Adams and video legend Zach Scott.



Quality Posts


timothywright27


quality posts: 2 Private Messages timothywright27

That's awesome. Makes my office look so boring.

bsmith1


quality posts: 103 Private Messages bsmith1

I've eaten 50 McNuggets plus some fries in a single sitting. I also used to work at a grocery store that sold Krispy Kreme donuts. I’m no stranger to downing a box of 2-day-old donuts in a single day. Should I check my PMs or my email for the forthcoming woot job offer?

Way to do us proud, Ryan D!

Moueska


quality posts: 54 Private Messages Moueska

Big Blue Ocean office strategy at work! ;)

HEY, PROF SEAN... THAT'S TOTALLY A TOPIC FOR AN UPCOMING LECTURE! ^_^


Srsly, that looked like it was a blast. Love seeing two customer service groups getting along! :D

mgossette


quality posts: 0 Private Messages mgossette

That's awesome! What was the time limit?

zach0731


quality posts: 81 Private Messages zach0731

Staff

mgossette wrote:That's awesome! What was the time limit?



20 minutes

lichme


quality posts: 2739 Private Messages lichme

What I wouldn't give for some Tim Hortons right now. A large double double and some Timbits sounds delicious, especially since I am drinking some disappointing Dunkin Donuts right now.

SS26


quality posts: 0 Private Messages SS26

Now come to AL and visit Huntsville in the fall for the Krispy Kreme challange. Run two miles, eat a dozen KK, run two miles back. The catch is you only have 1 hour to get it all done.

jessicadennis


quality posts: 4 Private Messages jessicadennis
SS26 wrote:Now come to AL and visit Huntsville in the fall for the Krispy Kreme challange. Run two miles, eat a dozen KK, run two miles back. The catch is you only have 1 hour to get it all done.



And then puke like you've never even imagined puking before?

SkekTek


quality posts: 17 Private Messages SkekTek

Seriously disappointed you didn't have Pemberducky also representing Woot.

Slydon


quality posts: 17 Private Messages Slydon

Staff

SkekTek wrote:Seriously disappointed you didn't have Pemberducky also representing Woot.



He is a delicate flower who can't eat more than one doughnut at a time.

Hi, I'm one of the writers. My powers are limited but I'll do what I can.

PemberDucky


quality posts: 41 Private Messages PemberDucky

Staff

Slydon wrote:He is a delicate flower who can't eat more than one doughnut at a time.



Also, she's not in Texas!


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Not sure if you should post that? This slightly-nsfw-flowchart will help.

JReynosa


quality posts: 0 Private Messages JReynosa

I'm internet famous

threepiecewoot


quality posts: 20 Private Messages threepiecewoot

A little known fact regarding this contest; Woot won despite using refurbed doughnuts.

ROGETRAY


quality posts: 155 Private Messages ROGETRAY

Staff

threepiecewoot wrote:A little known fact regarding this contest; Woot won despite using refurbed doughnuts.



Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

br0seidon


quality posts: 0 Private Messages br0seidon

Donut eating contest? More like "First one to get diabetes wins"!

FourStarKidd04


quality posts: 0 Private Messages FourStarKidd04

Anyone notice the Diet Dr. Pepper Team Woot's Mark had next to him??? Really??? Diet during a doughnut eating competition?

Moueska


quality posts: 54 Private Messages Moueska
FourStarKidd04 wrote:Anyone notice the Diet Dr. Pepper Team Woot's Mark had next to him??? Really??? Diet during a doughnut eating competition?



Clearly, CLEARLY you do not understand the Calorie + Competition ratio. If the calories are NOT for the competition, then they should NOT be there. DIET FTW.

/sacchrine

SkekTek


quality posts: 17 Private Messages SkekTek
PemberDucky wrote:Also, she's not in Texas!



Dang. Thought it was a Seattle thang.

bsmith1


quality posts: 103 Private Messages bsmith1
SkekTek wrote:Dang. Thought it was a Seattle thang.



Do hipsters even eat donuts? heh

andrewc


quality posts: 4 Private Messages andrewc

Has anyone ever held one of these competitions with healthy food instead? How many pounds of vegetable medley can you handle?

bsmith1


quality posts: 103 Private Messages bsmith1
andrewc wrote:Has anyone ever held one of these competitions with healthy food instead? How many pounds of vegetable medley can you handle?



When you're going to eat a lot of food, it helps if the food actually tastes good. ;)
Plus, it's probably cheaper to buy donuts than veggies.