WootBot


quality posts: 14 Private Messages WootBot

Staff

You guys, I have an addiction. I'm addicted to puns. I need them. I can't get enough of them. I HUNGER FOR THEM. That's why I've set up this weekly blog feature: so you guys can feed my addiction. Every week, I'll name the topic, give you some examples, and then you'll pun away in the comments, on Facebook, or on Twitter. I'll choose the best ones and post them here next week. Sound good? Good! Let's do it!

THIS WEEK'S EPISODE: Math in the Kitchen

We're doing a pretty mathy Woot-Off right now, so I figured, why not get a little mathy in the pun post too? Except it's not just math. It's mathematical kitchen stuff. Check it:

  • Aluminum F.O.I.L.
  • Multiplikitchen Table
  • Long DiviShun Knives
     

Your turn! Holla at me in the comments, and I'll holla at my favez nezt week! (That's how mathematicians talk, right?)

Last Time's Winner (Sci-Fi Farms): Cattlecar Galactica from MOS95B.

Other Favorites: 2001: A Space Oat-essy from stevepom546, and Steer Trek III: The Search for Livestock from pun post hall-of-famer SQUITODEA.

cooljmy10


quality posts: 1 Private Messages cooljmy10

I really like confectionery ovens, but I'm torn between a (0 < gas < 1) or a (0 < electric < 1)

mickeygoldsmith


quality posts: 0 Private Messages mickeygoldsmith

What about a nice full serial bowl?

toolhedtim


quality posts: 0 Private Messages toolhedtim

Please Excuse My Dead Antelope Steak

mfulls


quality posts: 0 Private Messages mfulls

deriving a kitchen pun is as simple as integrating a catchy mathematical term and multiplying (or adding) it with a kitchen term, and that about sums it up.

Jertyrael


quality posts: 21 Private Messages Jertyrael

1) Refrigenometry

2) Obesity: Kitchen Addition

3) Vanilla Subtract

"Woot and all our various sites will continue to be an independently operated company full of horrible, useless products and an untalented jerkface writing staff, same as it ever was." -- Matt Rutledge

lalaith


quality posts: 2 Private Messages lalaith

Obvious to me because I actually own one: Pi plate!

howdoesth


quality posts: 0 Private Messages howdoesth

While scrambling some eggs, I spilled a little and wiped it up with a sponge. I didn't wring it out, though, so when I found it a week later it was covered in an eggspongential growth.

ThatPoshGirl


quality posts: 32 Private Messages ThatPoshGirl

#cake

Karp reduction sauce

Cartesian plane grater

rib'

howdoesth


quality posts: 0 Private Messages howdoesth

Did you hear about the new yeast that only rises when you place it in a ferromagnetic pan over range with a copper coil that generates an oscillating magnetic field? They call it proof-by-induction.

davidmcgill


quality posts: 0 Private Messages davidmcgill

SIN(gerine) / COS(gerine) = TAN(gerine)

Vulpecula


quality posts: 2 Private Messages Vulpecula

Ice Cubed

benjaminleebates


quality posts: 5 Private Messages benjaminleebates

-Algebroil
-Cubed Steak, that's steak to the third power...
-Pi
-Square root of Pi, would be sweet potato pie, with the sweet potato diced to precision.

Linad


quality posts: 20 Private Messages Linad

Ate a tangerine and put the dishes in the sink cos they were dirty.

marioneil


quality posts: 0 Private Messages marioneil

Fibona-Chia-Pet

Sprouts in a predictable sequence, illustrating the golden ratio in nature.

fractalVisionz


quality posts: 4 Private Messages fractalVisionz

4 Digit Precision Degree Measuring thermometer.
Percolation Théry (French tea)
Sheaf knife
Knife Set
Prime Stove
Pi server
Pi Bisector (Pie Bird)
Sieve strainer
Pitato Mathsher
Klein Bottle Opener (impossible!)
Lemonomial Peeler

lichme


quality posts: 2772 Private Messages lichme

Parabol-of-soup
Lemon Scented Solvent
Refrigerator Mag-Net Loss Calculator
Vertical Shrink Wrap

barkwoot


quality posts: 98 Private Messages barkwoot

Disharential Calculus

ljfnord


quality posts: 1 Private Messages ljfnord

Confractioner's Sugar
Boil Slaw (of after-dinner gas)
Cosink
Gluten-fibonacci sequence

kcostell


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kcostell

Bob was a trainee chef who finally got his big break one day working in the personal kitchen of Liberace. Now this wasn't an easy task, and not just because of the pressure for working for a big star like Liberace. You see, Liberace liked everything to be shiny. Not just sparking, but blinding.

Bob's boss tried to warn him about that. But Bob with his Cordon Bleu degree and the confidence of a man in his 20's brushed off the warnings, saying he could handle it.

And at first, it went great. Mashed potatoes, not a problem. The green beans had one rough moment, but he shaded his eyes in time and avoided trouble. But then came the stew.

It was a massive stew, in a tureen nearly a foot tall. Even before he started cooking Bob started wishing he had sunglasses. And everything just got worse once the pot started heating up. An older, wiser man might have asked for help at this point, but not Bob. And sure enough, as he went to move the tureen a stray gleam of light blinded him, and he ended up knocking the whole thing over and ruining Liberace's dinner.

Bob tried to explain himself, but was out of a job soon afterwards. As he left, the words of the master chef rang in his ears:

"You fool! Didn't you listen when I told you that the glare from the high pot in use was equal to the sum of the glares from the other two sides?"

Pamini


quality posts: 1 Private Messages Pamini

Combining math and statistics:
Pi a la mode

migelito


quality posts: 9 Private Messages migelito

Fibonacho Fibonacheese
Mathematical spices: SINnamon, parse-ly, Descartes-amom
Archimeaties

if your food is contaminated you might die of parEbola

barkwoot


quality posts: 98 Private Messages barkwoot

Algebroccoli

jcolag


quality posts: 8 Private Messages jcolag

The Inte-grill - it'll work as long as you don't forget to add the c-salt.
You could probably also use a Meat Ten-deriver.

There are also the picky people who dither about food-to-sauce ratios who want to watch their Bernaise Distribution.

Pamini


quality posts: 1 Private Messages Pamini

Avocado's number
reciprocolander
grease trapezoid
suppermentary angles
temperature probability
kitchen scalene triangle

johnnyicemaker


quality posts: 1 Private Messages johnnyicemaker

Pi Cooling Rack
m-AND-oline
col-AND-er
box and WHISKer plot
PIE WEIGHTed Average
SCALE factor
SCALEne Triangle
egg Shell Method
food Descartes'
microWAVE
Fibonacciese
Avogadough's Number
DISHerential equation
ZESTERment

barkwoot


quality posts: 98 Private Messages barkwoot

Phasey Susan

megmitch86


quality posts: 0 Private Messages megmitch86

Centrifugal borscht.

barkwoot


quality posts: 98 Private Messages barkwoot

Isaltolese triangle

SQUITODEATHPILLS


quality posts: 1 Private Messages SQUITODEATHPILLS

The Mrs. Field's Medal for outstanding culinary mathematical achievement