Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.

NEW YORK, June 17 (UPI) -- The New York Office of Emergency Management said it spiked the scenting agent added to natural gas with cinnamon to prevent 911 calls during work.

And, in an unrelated story, the Chairman of the New York Office of Emergency Management has bought a new house with the dividends from the growth of his Cinnabon stock!

 

Cinnamon Buns

 

BOSTON (UPI) -- In a second day of testimony, convicted mob hit man John Martorano said his former associate James "Whitey" Bulger ordered hits across Boston for years.

An attorney for Bulger made it clear that his client was clearly just a music collector who liked to have all his favorite band's hit singles in proper order, making them easy to find.

DUBLIN, Ireland (UPI) -- U.S. first lady Michelle Obama and her daughters enjoyed lunch at a Dublin-area pub Tuesday with Bono during a whirlwind visit to Ireland.

Paparazzi were unable to find the pub to take photos, as in that location, the streets had no name.

 

The infamous Street With No Name

 

WASHINGTON (UPI) -- White House Chief of Staff Denis McDonough said President Barack Obama does not believe he has violated the privacy of any American.

White House insiders say the whole thing is apparently a big misunderstanding, and the President was just trying to figure out the name of his butler, which he'd forgotten, without having to seem stupid.

Cinnamon Buns from Steve Johnson and The infamous Street With No Name from Mikey are used under a Creative Commons License.