hot72chev


quality posts: 11 Private Messages hot72chev
olcubmaster wrote:Actually, I'm working on a remake where all the actors are replaced by wooden spoons perfectly synced with the NBC broadcast vocals.

The person below me has fond memories of appearing on stage.


I appeared as "Millie, the Maid" in the 7th Grade production of "Virtue and Justice Triumph Again". My only lines as I slogged around the set were "Work, work, work, rush, rush, rush - that's all I ever do." They are still talking about it in the Custodian's Lounge.

The person below me made up new curse words while stringing this year's Christmas lights.

stacipurv


quality posts: 3 Private Messages stacipurv
hot72chev wrote:I appeared as "Millie, the Maid" in the 7th Grade production of "Virtue and Justice Triumph Again". My only lines as I slogged around the set were "Work, work, work, rush, rush, rush - that's all I ever do." They are still talking about it in the Custodian's Lounge.

The person below me made up new curse words while stringing this year's Christmas lights.



That was last year - consonants & vowels thrown together in unrecognizable sequences. The neighbors weren't thrilled. This year we only have the 4 wreaths and garland over the door & lanterns - and we paid someone else to hang them. Paying someone else to do a job you don't want to do. Isn't that the REAL reason for the season?

The person below me has never paid anyone to do a job he (she) thought he could tackle on his own.

jawsuser


quality posts: 4 Private Messages jawsuser
stacipurv wrote:That was last year - consonants & vowels thrown together in unrecognizable sequences. The neighbors weren't thrilled. This year we only have the 4 wreaths and garland over the door & lanterns - and we paid someone else to hang them. Paying someone else to do a job you don't want to do. Isn't that the REAL reason for the season?

The person below me has never paid anyone to do a job he (she) thought he could tackle on his own.



Very true. You'd be surprised at how some people go bonkers at the thought of a blind woman changing light fixtures or putting up ceiling fans. I come by it honestly though. My dad, who is totally blind, decided to scrap and prime the house back in 1991 when he first moved back down here. It seems people would stop out front and watch him, waiting for him to fall of the scaffolding or do something else stupid. Never mind that he was a painter in the military before he became blind. One truly has to wonder about some people! Why should I pay money for something I can capably do? And yes I know my limits. I don't work on cars, but I am pretty good at putting tire chains on in the snow.

The person below me will share a snow story.

olcubmaster


quality posts: 30 Private Messages olcubmaster
jawsuser wrote:Very true. You'd be surprised at how some people go bonkers at the thought of a blind woman changing light fixtures or putting up ceiling fans. I come by it honestly though. My dad, who is totally blind, decided to scrap and prime the house back in 1991 when he first moved back down here. It seems people would stop out front and watch him, waiting for him to fall of the scaffolding or do something else stupid. Never mind that he was a painter in the military before he became blind. One truly has to wonder about some people! Why should I pay money for something I can capably do? And yes I know my limits. I don't work on cars, but I am pretty good at putting tire chains on in the snow.

The person below me will share a snow story.



How the heck do you follow a story like that one? Well, how about instead of a snow story we go with a snow joke...one that has cracked me up for years (long before it was on LOST).

What did one snowman say to the other?











Do you smell carrots?


The person below me once held a job demonstrating and selling Veg-A-Matics, until that unfortunate day when...well, they'll tell us what happened.

Sugar 'em up and send 'em home

hot72chev


quality posts: 11 Private Messages hot72chev
olcubmaster wrote:How the heck do you follow a story like that one? Well, how about instead of a snow story we go with a snow joke...one that has cracked me up for years (long before it was on LOST).

What did one snowman say to the other?











Do you smell carrots?


The person below me once held a job demonstrating and selling Veg-A-Matics, until that unfortunate day when...well, they'll tell us what happened.



I was doing okay until I got lost on my sales pitch and described the machine's functions as follows: "It chops, mops, pops, grates, grinds, growls, groans, washes, wipes, wets, and worries."

The person below me has a signature dish which is cooked up fresh every New Years Day, and will share with us the secret ingredient.

Aardwolky


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Aardwolky
hot72chev wrote:I was doing okay until I got lost on my sales pitch and described the machine's functions as follows: "It chops, mops, pops, grates, grinds, growls, groans, washes, wipes, wets, and worries."

The person below me has a signature dish which is cooked up fresh every New Years Day, and will share with us the secret ingredient.



Oh Well, UHm, hem haw.ahh.. ARGH!!!
You know its not really an secret anymore if I had it mentioned right?

The person below me hates being a middleman but his/her work revolves around being a mediator.

[u]HE[u] the red one, doesn't forgive, He Forgets and Just love unconditionally

jawsuser


quality posts: 4 Private Messages jawsuser
Aardwolky wrote:Oh Well, UHm, hem haw.ahh.. ARGH!!!
You know its not really an secret anymore if I had it mentioned right?

The person below me hates being a middleman but his/her work revolves around being a mediator.



Regularly. One of the joys of being a caregiver - trying to get dad to follow dr. orders. Actually trying to get dad to do anything he is supposed to do is a mediation job. Personally I think kids might be easier. (Can you tell I've never had them?}

The person below me will explain what having kids is like for those of us who have no clue.

stacipurv


quality posts: 3 Private Messages stacipurv
jawsuser wrote:Regularly. One of the joys of being a caregiver - trying to get dad to follow dr. orders. Actually trying to get dad to do anything he is supposed to do is a mediation job. Personally I think kids might be easier. (Can you tell I've never had them?}

The person below me will explain what having kids is like for those of us who have no clue.



It's a big, fat pain in the A$$! You're always picking up after them, they keep you up at night, they whine when they don't feel well & expect you to take care of them, the keeping them fed, having to find all the things they've "lost" but they need RIGHT NOW! Somebody must have Stolen it!!! (Um, no. It's here, where you left it.)



Wait. Did you say kids? I'm sorry, I read husbands. I don't know about kids.


The person below me has strong feelings about what day of the week is optimal for curbside trash removal.

maxikyd


quality posts: 6 Private Messages maxikyd
stacipurv wrote:It's a big, fat pain in the A$$! You're always picking up after them, they keep you up at night, they whine when they don't feel well & expect you to take care of them, the keeping them fed, having to find all the things they've "lost" but they need RIGHT NOW! Somebody must have Stolen it!!! (Um, no. It's here, where you left it.)



Wait. Did you say kids? I'm sorry, I read husbands. I don't know about kids.


The person below me has strong feelings about what day of the week is optimal for curbside trash removal.



Saturday is by far the best, especially if it's later in the day. Clears out the detrius of the week after an early morning clean up. Besides, that's the only day the dump is open. Ahhh, rural, small-town living.


The person below me will explain about his/her last bout of motion sickness.

hot72chev


quality posts: 11 Private Messages hot72chev
maxikyd wrote:Saturday is by far the best, especially if it's later in the day. Clears out the detrius of the week after an early morning clean up. Besides, that's the only day the dump is open. Ahhh, rural, small-town living.


The person below me will explain about his/her last bout of motion sickness.


It was on the way to the company Christmas party. I had to ride in the back of my co-workers car. I had spent much time primping and being prissy to look nice. By the time we arrived, I was sweating, wilted, and positively Green. I couldn't even enjoy the appetizers and the free liquor. It was a horrible evening.

The person below me will tell a funny joke to help get us all through a long, cold, dark, never ending winter.

stacipurv


quality posts: 3 Private Messages stacipurv
hot72chev wrote:It was on the way to the company Christmas party. I had to ride in the back of my co-workers car. I had spent much time primping and being prissy to look nice. By the time we arrived, I was sweating, wilted, and positively Green. I couldn't even enjoy the appetizers and the free liquor. It was a horrible evening.

The person below me will tell a funny joke to help get us all through a long, cold, dark, never ending winter.



A country guy applies for a job at a big fancy retail store. The manager said that since he had no experience, they would try him out for a day & see how he did.

At the end of the day -

Manager: So, how did it go? How many sales did you have?

Guy: I think I did pretty good. I had one sale.

Manager: Just one?!?! How much was it?

Guy: Well I think it was a good one. It was just a little under $100,000.

Manager: $100,000?!?!?! What on earth did you sell?!?!

Guy: Well, this fella came in and we got to looking at fishing line. Turned out he didn't really know what he was fishing for or what weight to get, so we got several different ones. And he didn't really have any good equipment, so we went & picked out various & sundry rods and tackle and such. The fella said he didn't have much of a boat other than a john-boat, so we went over to that department and picked him out a really nice 22 footer (he's really gonna like that) and a trailer. And well, it turned out, he wasn't gonna be able to pull that thing with his little car, so we found him a pickup that could handle that kinda towing. Anyway, all told, it came out somewhere in the neighborhood of 90-something thousand.

Manager: So wait. You have zero sales experience and you're telling me a guy came in for fishing line and you sold him $100K worth of goods?

Guy: Well, no. Actually when he came in he said he was looking for tampons and I said, "Well, hell, your weekend's shot. You might as well go fishin'."


(5 minutes of winter - Gone!)

The person below me has a great story about fishing.

jawsuser


quality posts: 4 Private Messages jawsuser
stacipurv wrote:A country guy applies for a job at a big fancy retail store. The manager said that since he had no experience, they would try him out for a day & see how he did.

At the end of the day -

Manager: So, how did it go? How many sales did you have?

Guy: I think I did pretty good. I had one sale.

Manager: Just one?!?! How much was it?

Guy: Well I think it was a good one. It was just a little under $100,000.

Manager: $100,000?!?!?! What on earth did you sell?!?!

Guy: Well, this fella came in and we got to looking at fishing line. Turned out he didn't really know what he was fishing for or what weight to get, so we got several different ones. And he didn't really have any good equipment, so we went & picked out various & sundry rods and tackle and such. The fella said he didn't have much of a boat other than a john-boat, so we went over to that department and picked him out a really nice 22 footer (he's really gonna like that) and a trailer. And well, it turned out, he wasn't gonna be able to pull that thing with his little car, so we found him a pickup that could handle that kinda towing. Anyway, all told, it came out somewhere in the neighborhood of 90-something thousand.

Manager: So wait. You have zero sales experience and you're telling me a guy came in for fishing line and you sold him $100K worth of goods?

Guy: Well, no. Actually when he came in he said he was looking for tampons and I said, "Well, hell, your weekend's shot. You might as well go fishin'."


(5 minutes of winter - Gone!)

The person below me has a great story about fishing.



It happened in sixth grade camp. All the sixth graders got to go to camp with their teachers and other staff for a whole week. We got to pick a name. Little Deer was taken so I chose Running Turtle - if you saw me run you would understand.

I had the prettiest green fishing rod. It was just my size. I was very small as a child. I went out and put a worm on the hook, I had been fishing before and knew how to do it. On my second or third cast a fish hit the line so quick it grabbed the pole and reel right out of my hands. I didn't even have time to think or react. Quick as a flash it was gone to the bottom of the lake.

I have another story about kayaking that week, but that's for another time. I still kind of feel sorry for the teacher; around campfire that night he said he felt like a 'mother duck' when I was kayaking with all the boys.

The person below me will share their boating story with us.

hot72chev


quality posts: 11 Private Messages hot72chev
jawsuser wrote:It happened in sixth grade camp. All the sixth graders got to go to camp with their teachers and other staff for a whole week. We got to pick a name. Little Deer was taken so I chose Running Turtle - if you saw me run you would understand.

I had the prettiest green fishing rod. It was just my size. I was very small as a child. I went out and put a worm on the hook, I had been fishing before and knew how to do it. On my second or third cast a fish hit the line so quick it grabbed the pole and reel right out of my hands. I didn't even have time to think or react. Quick as a flash it was gone to the bottom of the lake.

I have another story about kayaking that week, but that's for another time. I still kind of feel sorry for the teacher; around campfire that night he said he felt like a 'mother duck' when I was kayaking with all the boys.

The person below me will share their boating story with us.



The year was 2001. My friend and I called in "sick" to work in order to go spend the day on the lake with his old boat. We had a wonderful day and in the late afternoon, we were ready to wrap it up and head home.

That's when the motor conked out. We had to use the tiny trolling motor to make it back to the dock. We could only run it for 10 minutes at a time, then it had to rest for 15. It took 5 hours.

And that was our karma.

Person Below Me, now tell us what you lied to your boss about today.

olcubmaster


quality posts: 30 Private Messages olcubmaster
hot72chev wrote:The year was 2001. My friend and I called in "sick" to work in order to go spend the day on the lake with his old boat. We had a wonderful day and in the late afternoon, we were ready to wrap it up and head home.

That's when the motor conked out. We had to use the tiny trolling motor to make it back to the dock. We could only run it for 10 minutes at a time, then it had to rest for 15. It took 5 hours.

And that was our karma.

Person Below Me, now tell us what you lied to your boss about today.



I lied about the report I was working on when all the time I was catching up on all the "Everything But Woot" threads I had missed for a few weeks.

The person below me once worked as a pooper scooper at "Puppy Bowl III"

Sugar 'em up and send 'em home

hot72chev


quality posts: 11 Private Messages hot72chev
olcubmaster wrote:I lied about the report I was working on when all the time I was catching up on all the "Everything But Woot" threads I had missed for a few weeks.

The person below me once worked as a pooper scooper at "Puppy Bowl III"


It was a dirty job, but somebody had to do it. Mostly, I bag kitty business as a part of my daily routine, but it doesn't pay as well as Puppy Bowl.

The person below me once had an interesting brush with the law.

no1


quality posts: 7 Private Messages no1
hot72chev wrote:It was a dirty job, but somebody had to do it. Mostly, I bag kitty business as a part of my daily routine, but it doesn't pay as well as Puppy Bowl.

The person below me once had an interesting brush with the law.



oliver wendell holmes twice threw a copy of black's law dictionary at my head, missing once.

the person below me has an advanced degree in basket weaving.

stacipurv


quality posts: 3 Private Messages stacipurv
no1 wrote:oliver wendell holmes twice threw a copy of black's law dictionary at my head, missing once.

the person below me has an advanced degree in basket weaving.



UNDERWATER basket weaving (that's why it's and Advanced Degree).

The person below me considers him/herself a connoisseur of sloppy joes.

JdgM3nt4l


quality posts: 1 Private Messages JdgM3nt4l
stacipurv wrote:UNDERWATER basket weaving (that's why it's and Advanced Degree).

The person below me considers him/herself a connoisseur of sloppy joes.




Yeah, but nobody understands it when I ask for a goblet and begin swishing it around to build the aromas.


The person below me was caught looking at the google image results for "banana hammock" by their significant other.

Immortal... for a limited time.

Moueska


quality posts: 54 Private Messages Moueska
JdgM3nt4l wrote:Yeah, but nobody understands it when I ask for a goblet and begin swishing it around to build the aromas.


The person below me was caught looking at the google image results for "banana hammock" by their significant other.



I don't need to be caught. Dominic Deegan's forums taught me what it meant YEARS before your post.

The person below me can tell me exactly WHY THE HECK I moved to Seattle. (In other news - Hey! I'm back! And I moved to Seattle while I was away from the forums!)

Xexus


quality posts: 6 Private Messages Xexus
Moueska wrote:I don't need to be caught. Dominic Deegan's forums taught me what it meant YEARS before your post.

The person below me can tell me exactly WHY THE HECK I moved to Seattle. (In other news - Hey! I'm back! And I moved to Seattle while I was away from the forums!)



To always be within a stone's throw from a StarBucks of course.

The person below me is too young to remember "Ubbi-Dubbi".

Signature censored by Woot

daveinwarshington


quality posts: 15 Private Messages daveinwarshington
Xexus wrote:To always be within a stone's throw from a StarBucks of course.

The person below me is too young to remember "Ubbi-Dubbi".



Yes, though I have found a class called "Ubbi-Dubbi 101" at the local College. I am signed up for the Fall class.

.

The person below me actually found the end of a rainbow.

unangrybird


quality posts: 0 Private Messages unangrybird
daveinwarshington wrote:Yes, though I have found a class called "Ubbi-Dubbi 101" at the local College. I am signed up for the Fall class.

.

The person below me actually found the end of a rainbow.



Yes. The pot was filled with pennies though and too heavy to move.

The person below me is leary of responding to strangers.

stryper2000


quality posts: 22 Private Messages stryper2000
unangrybird wrote:Yes. The pot was filled with pennies though and too heavy to move.

The person below me is leary of responding to strangers.



mmm.. uh . aaa. I NEED A GROWN UP! I NEED A GROWN UP!
(runs frantically away looking for a grown up)



The person below me doesn't match their socks when going out in public

The Craphound of Woot

Antagonist of Sellbuyer92 , I sniped his Basket Of Checkers

x36

unangrybird


quality posts: 0 Private Messages unangrybird
stryper2000 wrote:


The person below me doesn't match their socks when going out in public



True but my bra and panties always match perfectly!

The person below me has a strange ringtone for every contact on their phone.

Nitetigrezz


quality posts: 1 Private Messages Nitetigrezz
unangrybird wrote:True but my bra and panties always match perfectly!

The person below me has a strange ringtone for every contact on their phone.



And yours is the Angry Birds theme song, because you're og like that XD

The person below me does the Hokey Pokey and has indisputable proof that that's what it's all about.

~ First ever Birthday of Celebrations ~ 7/11/2014 ~

unangrybird


quality posts: 0 Private Messages unangrybird
Nitetigrezz wrote:

The person below me does the Hokey Pokey and has indisputable proof that that's what it's all about.



That's what my 1st grade teacher told me and we did the Hokey Pokey every day during indoor recesses!

The person below me never watches reality TV

KtCallista


quality posts: 33 Private Messages KtCallista
unangrybird wrote:That's what my 1st grade teacher told me and we did the Hokey Pokey every day during indoor recesses!

The person below me never watches reality TV



No, I don't. I don't really have any TV service beyond PBS and the interwebs. I never started watching them, and I see no reason to seek them out.

The person below me doesn't know what they'd do with a woot crap, doesn't really want to deal with a bunch of random stuff that has no purpose in their home, but kinda wants to win one anyway.

___________________________________________________________________
Paper Napkins on the Edge of Insanity

You can call me Goddess, that's fine.

mikestuckey


quality posts: 0 Private Messages mikestuckey
KtCallista wrote:No, I don't. I don't really have any TV service beyond PBS and the interwebs. I never started watching them, and I see no reason to seek them out.

The person below me doesn't know what they'd do with a woot crap, doesn't really want to deal with a bunch of random stuff that has no purpose in their home, but kinda wants to win one anyway.



The best crap has no purpose. What else is a hobbit to give away on his birthday. The best gift was an animatronic Rudolph with a missing hoof that did an oval shuffle.

The person below me has bathed in the light of a thousand eggplants while thinking of the best hamburger to wear as a hat.

Nitetigrezz


quality posts: 1 Private Messages Nitetigrezz
mikestuckey wrote:The best crap has no purpose. What else is a hobbit to give away on his birthday. The best gift was an animatronic Rudolph with a missing hoof that did an oval shuffle.

The person below me has bathed in the light of a thousand eggplants while thinking of the best hamburger to wear as a hat.



AND IT WAS GLORIOUS! The eggplant created such a lovely purple light! And I decided on an Angus burger with blue cheese with bacon, lettuce, and secret sauce. It made quite an impression at the fooders fashion festival yesterday!

The person below me know the hidden secret of the secret sauce and will reveal it now!

~ First ever Birthday of Celebrations ~ 7/11/2014 ~

agentbryan


quality posts: 0 Private Messages agentbryan
Nitetigrezz wrote:AND IT WAS GLORIOUS! The eggplant created such a lovely purple light! And I decided on an Angus burger with blue cheese with bacon, lettuce, and secret sauce. It made quite an impression at the fooders fashion festival yesterday!

The person below me know the hidden secret of the secret sauce and will reveal it now!



It has been passed down through many generations. Originally discovered by Monks as a remedy for the small bald spot in the center of their head it one day dribbled off a monk's head into a cup of tea. This monk exclaimed "would you like one lump or two?(in the Mrs. Doubtfire voice)... I'm sure you guessed it by now, but the secret ingredient is Welch's grape jelly.

The person bellow me was involved in a run by fruiting with a cross dresser.