The crunch of snow on the rooftop can mean only one thing: It's Santa Clau - OH GOD IT'S THE KRAMPUS -- EVERYBODY RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
The Krampus (for those few readers unfamiliar with Alpine folklore) is a malevolent yuletide creature that whisks children off to its mountain abode and delivers red-hot deals right here on Woot!
Keep an eye trained on the main Woot.com page all season long for lightning-quick deals from the Krampus. Don't twiddle your thumbs about it, because these sales will disappear faster than you can say "horribly visaged nightmare monster."
What goodies shall the Krampus provide, you ask? That depends on the quality and number of children it gets its claws on. But probably some TVs and earrings and stuff. All of it will be marked way down (retail lingo for 'cheap') and 50% guaranteed not to smell like goblin fur.
Happy Holidays from the -- [author unable to complete post due to Krampus abduction]