agingdragqueen


quality posts: 126 Private Messages agingdragqueen

Staff

I hope your Thanksgiving was amazing and you're spending your Black Friday pantsless and in front of the computer!

In honor of pantsless deals, we know Big ol' Cornucopia are in high demand and it just so happens @manhandsha & I were given 10 links to Big ol' Cornucopia sales! We've decided the only "fair" way to dole them out is via a GAME. If you want a chance at getting one of these links PM'd to you, here's how you play:

- Comment here with a holiday-themed haiku (we're not going to be TOO nit-picky, but don't go too far off topic)
- As a reminder: haikus are three lines with syllables in order of: 5-7-5
- One haiku per person! If you decide to add more, please do! But designate which one you want to be judged.
- If you can get a Big ol' Cornucopia shipped to you (or want to get one for a friend in the US)- you're more than welcome to play (to be clear to our homeboy, we don't care about your affiliate status, @lichme)
- All haikus need to be in before 3pm PT!

How will the "best" haikus be decided?
This will really depend on how many haikus we get, if this is a pretty low turnout, manhands and I will just come to an agreement fairly soon after 3pm. HOWEVER, if we get enough people, we'll decide on our favorite 5, then curate another 10 or so and put them up on Facebook by 4pm for some srs bsns like-voting to decide the community favorites ala ChamPUNship.



we can't wait to see
the wooter mentality
refridgerator


lichme


quality posts: 2849 Private Messages lichme

Woohoo, I love me a good Haiku

Use
I can't find my phone
Why is the turkey ringing
Ooops, that was my bad

Extra
Happy Holidays
To All Of My Friends At Woot
You Guys Are The Best

Extra
I Am Thankful For
The Person Who Invented
Elastic Waistbands

Extra

Turkey time is done
My nap was not long enough
I gained fifteen pounds

carl669


quality posts: 27 Private Messages carl669

who are these people,
i only see once a year,
and when will they leave?



Wife: Do you really need all this junk?
Me: At least I don't ask you if it makes me look fat.
--------------------------------------

bsmith1


quality posts: 103 Private Messages bsmith1

Yum... turkey tastes good
What fine texture and flavor
Nope, that was a bone

edit: changed Mmmm to Yum as the syllable counter TT posted didn't see mmmm as a syllable.

apencak


quality posts: 0 Private Messages apencak

dinner time at 3
eat until i hate myself
at least my team won

ThunderThighs


quality posts: 565 Private Messages ThunderThighs

Staff

Almost lone staffer
Wait, cussing in the distance
Sad Panda Indeed


Handy syllable counter

WHAT?!?! I can't participate?



FORUM MODERATOR
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maxtaylor1988


quality posts: 0 Private Messages maxtaylor1988

Holidays are great
Stressful times with family
It still beats working

sudotrin


quality posts: 0 Private Messages sudotrin

The heartburn suffered
Not worth the cranberry sauce
I regret my greed

EDIT: Extra use above, please

Felt safe from flu shot
Hugs from nieces and nephews
Quite sure I'm dying*

*Lots of self pity, think I caught a cold.

barkwoot


quality posts: 111 Private Messages barkwoot

Snag a Bag of Crap?
A Festivus Miracle!
If no, air my grief!

thumperchick


quality posts: 238 Private Messages thumperchick

Turkey dinner yum.
My TV just died on me.
No. I'm not kidding.

(Seriously, my TV just stopped working. Yay Holidays! HAHA)

Slydon


quality posts: 17 Private Messages Slydon

Staff

I am here at work
But all the food is in my
Refrigerator

Hi, I'm one of the writers. My powers are limited but I'll do what I can.

wyk3d


quality posts: 2 Private Messages wyk3d

Turkey Thursday, yum
Black Friday, Cyber Monday
Flat broke Tuesday, sad

Geesht


quality posts: 4 Private Messages Geesht

Family and friends,
Come together from afar,
...I work in retail.

OldMatador


quality posts: 13 Private Messages OldMatador

Hello Black Friday
My Old Consumer Comrade
Show me the savings!

Chaindive


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Chaindive

Blacker Friday.

I just killed a man
For a T.V. I don't need
To impress people

garryu


quality posts: 0 Private Messages garryu

Black Friday is here
I tried to snipe a great sale
Woke up on the foor


jon98gn


quality posts: 21 Private Messages jon98gn

A Wise Man Once Said
Give Wife Gift Of B0C Instead
Wife Turn Red. He Dead.

\

dcigary


quality posts: 11 Private Messages dcigary

The UPS Man
Curses My Name Every Day
A Truck Full Of Woot

KissedToad


quality posts: 1 Private Messages KissedToad

The shopping online
With Tofurky in my gut
Ahh the holidays

jimgraffam


quality posts: 0 Private Messages jimgraffam

It's that time again
With family fun and friends
No crap? Bah Humbug!

connieh2007


quality posts: 3 Private Messages connieh2007

people skipping lines
crashing carts into others
glad i woot at home

farmgirlalways


quality posts: 0 Private Messages farmgirlalways

hustle and bustle
stiff-arming the old ladies
cheap crap will be mine

hmac


quality posts: 0 Private Messages hmac

If Jesus were here
He'd casseroleslap all the shoppers
You're missing the point.

ozzymandias


quality posts: 0 Private Messages ozzymandias

Still single this year
Must sit at the kids table
Please, God, let me die.

renrutnairbwoot


quality posts: 6 Private Messages renrutnairbwoot

Use
Christmas is the time
To bump uglies with the wife
In in-law's shower

Extra
Started off so clean
Haikus have become dirty
Hope judge is naughty

Extra
Holidays are here
Multiple months with no sun
Crawling in a hole

Extra
Thanksgiving is done
Turn up the Christmas music
Decorate the tree

Extra
Bag of Crap for me?
Need to hide it from the wife
Or she will shoot me

physfooled


quality posts: 0 Private Messages physfooled

Two dinners, one day
I ate too much and farted.
Uh oh... was that poop?!

:-(
Inspired by a true story.

thumperchick


quality posts: 238 Private Messages thumperchick

Man handed drag queen
wants a holiday haiku
holidays of butts

(This is my entry - you can tell by the blatant pandering)

jthebird1977


quality posts: 27 Private Messages jthebird1977

Door-busters are gone.
It's Ramahanakwanzmas!
Celebrate with us!

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dernst_ca1


quality posts: 37 Private Messages dernst_ca1


Happy Holidays
I am awful at haiku
Can I have crap now

-JMHSRV



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misssparky


quality posts: 3 Private Messages misssparky

Holiday haiku
Why are you so hard to write
I want Basket of Cranberries!

renrutnairbwoot


quality posts: 6 Private Messages renrutnairbwoot
misssparky wrote:Holiday haiku
Why are you so hard to write
I want Basket of Cranberries!



"I want Basket of Cranberries" is way more than 5 syllables.

misssparky


quality posts: 3 Private Messages misssparky
renrutnairbwoot wrote:"I want Basket of Cranberries" is way more than 5 syllables.


True, however what was written was autocorrected by the woot filter. Use your imagination it was three syllables.

Rewrite:
Holiday haiku
Why are you so hard to write?
I want Big ol' Cornucopia

misssparky


quality posts: 3 Private Messages misssparky
misssparky wrote:True, however what was written was autocorrected by the woot filter. Use your imagination it was three syllables.

Rewrite:
Holiday haiku
Why are you so hard to write?
I want Big ol' Cornucopia


D'OH

agingdragqueen


quality posts: 126 Private Messages agingdragqueen

Staff

so far, I love these
especially the dark ones
find joy in your pain


misssparky


quality posts: 3 Private Messages misssparky

Extra
Holiday haiku,
You're really hard to publish
Ain't got time fo dat!

Edit again
Please use this one for judging

I am a failure
Left the family early
And still missed the deal.

jalopatin


quality posts: 4 Private Messages jalopatin

turkey for in-laws
they all look disappointed
vegetarians

mossygreen


quality posts: 71 Private Messages mossygreen

Nothing's on tv
Thanksgiving frozen pizza
I'm shopping online

sinstwins


quality posts: 1 Private Messages sinstwins

it's that time of year
don't want to fight the mall crowd
a B0C for me plez!

dernst_ca1


quality posts: 37 Private Messages dernst_ca1

EXTRA - (just because it really happened today with the $1.99 sale)

I bought stuff from woot
Its gone from my account now
Of course its sold out




-JMHSRV



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stryper2000


quality posts: 27 Private Messages stryper2000


Turkey turkey yum
Plus other food fun fun fun
Barf! too much I ate

please use this as my submission

The Craphound of Woot

Antagonist of Sellbuyer92 , I sniped his Basket Of Checkers

x38