WootBot


quality posts: 14 Private Messages WootBot

Staff

At Woot we love - LOVE - holiday shopping. But recently we saw a commercial on television indicating that Christmas shopping might be strenuous. We were shocked. How could the suffocating pressure of finding gifts that accurately depict your degree of affection towards your loved ones be anything other than fun?

Look, if any of you Scrooges are out there and you're groping for a great gift idea, feel free to grope at Woot! Check out our homepage for a crapload of gift-oriented sales! We've got gifts coming out of every virtual orifice.

In fact, speaking of orifices, check out this Special Something for that Special Someone:

That's the Luxe Neo-110 Bidet right there. At just $31.99, there's no better way to say, "Darling, you could use a deeper clean."

Alright, admittedly, not a gift for everyone. What about this:

It's #TheSelfie Camera Remote Shutter, available for the almost dementedly low price of $7.99. The hashtag is included free of charge! No gift makes a statement quite like something called "The Selfie," which, we've been told, is also an unfortunate euphemism, so be sure to adjust your parental settings before doing a search.

But wait. Wait. We know you've got somebody on your list who's suspicious that their dog is a bastard, but they're too nervous to ask him about his lineage. Solution?

The Wisdom Panel TWO POINT OOH Doggie DNA Test. Merry Christmas.

And finally, for the folks on your list with tap water that tastes like residue from the aforementioned Luxe Neo-110 Bidet, we humbly offer the InstaPure F2BWT3P-1ES Faucet Mount Water Filter System, White and InstaPure F2R-4ES Replacement Filter, 4 Pack. Its name is as sexy as its job.

So there you have it, Christmas cronies. The thing we at Woot want you to take away from this little tour is that we've covered every corner of this site with potential gifts - not in the hope of unloading the seemingly unloadable crap we've been schlepping since April - no, in the hope of providing an aggressively discordant and diverse variety of items so that you can choose something juuust right.

And then you can cross that name off your list, plunge your head in some nog and forget 2013 ever happened.

Moueska


quality posts: 54 Private Messages Moueska

The best gift ever is if someone would nudge the recruiting department and tell them to take a look at my e-mail.

/futile unsubtle hinting